Proverbs has a lot to say about relationships.  One of the greatest challenges in our relationships is communication.   In Proverbs, the words, “our tongue, our mouth, or our lips” are used over 150 times in 31 chapters!

Proverbs 15:1 (ESV)
A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.

Have you ever tried to argue in a whisper? It is equally hard to argue with someone who insists on answering gently. On the other hand, a rising voice and harsh words almost always trigger an angry response. To turn away wrath and seek peace, choose gentle words.

Proverbs 15:28 (ESV)
The heart of the righteous ponders how to answer,
but the mouth of the wicked pours out evil things.

The godly weigh their answers; the wicked don’t think before speaking because they don’t care about the effects of their words. It is important to have something to say, but it is equally important to think about it first. Do you carefully plan your words, or do you pour out your thoughts without concern for their impact?

Here’s something else the “mouth of the wicked pours out.”

Can you guess it?

“I maim without killing. I break hearts and ruin lives. I am cunning and malicious and gather strength with age. The more I am quoted, the more I am believed. I flourish at every level of society. My victims are helpless. They cannot protect themselves against me because I have no face. I am nobodies friend. Once I tarnish a reputation, it is never the same. I topple governments, wreck marriages, and ruin careers — cause sleepless nights, heartaches, and indigestion. I spawn suspicion and generate grief. I make innocent people cry in their pillows. Even my name hisses… My name is Gossip.”  Dr Laura Laura Schlessinger

• Our Words Matter

Proverbs 15:14 (ESV)
The heart of him who has understanding seeks knowledge, but the mouths of fools feed on folly.

What we feed our minds is just as important as what we feed our bodies. The kinds of books we read, the people we talk with, the music we listen to, and the films we watch are all part of our mental diet. Be discerning because what you feed your mind influences your total health and well-being. Thus, a strong desire to discover knowledge is a mark of wisdom.

Proverbs 15:15 (ESV)
All the days of the afflicted are evil,
but the cheerful of heart has a continual feast.

Our attitudes color our whole personality. We cannot always choose what happens to us, but we can choose our attitude toward each situation. The secret to a happy heart is filling our mind with thoughts that are true, pure, and lovely, with thoughts that dwell on the good things in life (Philippians 4:8). This was Paul’s secret as he faced imprisonment, and it can be ours as we face the struggles of daily living. Look at your attitudes and then examine what you allow to enter your mind and what you choose to dwell on. You may need to make some changes.

The reality is there are a lot of things going wrong in the world. There’s no doubt about it. We as Jesus followers are not going to put our heads in the sand and pretend like there’s not things going wrong. At the same time, God is doing a lot of amazing things all over the world. While there are things going wrong, there are so many things going right. We will often find what we are looking for. I  love the illustration of two different types of birds: a buzzard and a hummingbird. Every single day, what does a buzzard find? A buzzard swerves around and finds dead things. Every single day, what does a hummingbird find? Flowers, nectar, sweet things, day after day, proving you will always find what you look for.  Which are you?

What are you feeding on?  “The mouths of fools feed on folly….but the cheerful of heart has a continual feast.”

If you want to find the negative,  if you want to be miserable, you can search for it and you can find it!  But if you search for the good, the sweet, the refreshing, you can also find that as well.  “Whatever is good, wholesome, pure, think on such things”  Philippians 4:8

• Our Attitude Matters

The eyes of the Lord are in every place, Watching the evil and the good. Proverbs 15:3

Where can you go to hide from God? There is no such a place.

At times it seems that God has let evil run rampant in the world and we wonder if he even notices it. But God sees everything clearly—both the evil actions and the evil intentions lying behind them. God is not standing idly by – He is not an indifferent observer. He cares and is active in our world. Right now, His work may be unseen and unfelt – but don’t give up. One day He will wipe out evil and punish the evildoers. He will establish the good and reward those who do His will.

The sacrifice of the wicked is an abomination to the LORD: but the prayer of the upright is his delight Proverbs. 15:8.

This is a fundamental principle. The wicked cannot do good or think right. It is impossible for them to do so. Let’s skip down for a moment and see another verse that states the same truth. “The thoughts of the wicked are an abomination to the LORD: but the words of the pure are pleasant words” (v. 26). The thoughts of the wicked are an abomination to the Lord and so are the sacrifices that he brings.
The reason they are an abomination is that he is wrong, wrong on the inside and wrong on the outside. He is all wrong, and whatever he does is wrong. The problem is that he has not learned to come in humility, recognizing his lost condition, coming to the Lord Jesus Christ for salvation. Someone has said, “A person who trusts so much as a single hair’s breadth of his works for salvation is a lost soul.” That is true. “The sacrifice of the wicked is an abomination to the LORD.” A person may be religious. He may go to church and go through certain formalities, but that has no value as far as God is concerned. I  Why do people think that if they do certain religious things, that will make them right with God? The heart must be changed. God does interior decorating before He can do any exterior decorating. He is not interested in your exterior decorating until He has done a job of interior decorating in your life.

The way of the wicked is an abomination unto the LORD: but He loves him that follows after righteousness. Proverbs 15:9.

He loves the person who follows after righteousness. Remember that it is Christ who has been made us to “become the righteousness of God.

For He made Him who knew no sin to be sin for us, that we might become the righteousness of God in Him. 2 Corinthians 5:21

• My Relationship with God Matters

The fear of the Lord is instruction in wisdom, and humility comes before honor Proverbs 15:33

One translation reads, “The fear of God is a school of wisdom.” I like that! This is a fear of God that leads to wisdom. But, what exactly is the fear of the Lord? The word “fear” to us often means dread or terror. This is part of the meaning. We should fear God in the sense that He alone has the authority and power to judge us, to punish sin, and to send us to hell (Matthew 10:28). Yes, you should fear God; however, those who have received God’s love through Jesus Christ, should not fear God in this way. There is no fear in the love of God through Jesus Christ (1 John 4:18). The Christian fear of God is genuine faith in Him through reverence and awe. Those who follow Christ are aware of the awesome and majestic sovereignty of God. This fear of God is revering Him and being in awe of Him that leads you to a total dependence upon Him. If this reverence is absent, a different type of fear of the Lord will be experienced, namely dread. Though Christians should no longer fear men (Hebrews 13:6), death (Hebrews 2:14-15), and life in general (2 Timothy 1:6–7), they must never lose a sense of how awesome God is. This leads to true wisdom.

Sources:

J. Vernon McGee, Thru the Bible Commentary: Poetry (Proverbs), electronic ed., vol. 20 (Nashville: Thomas Nelson, 1991), 134–135.

Life Application Bible Notes (Tyndale, 2007), 1026-28.