Upwards Church

Four things to help me worry less (Matthew 6:31-34)

 1.  Get To Know God Better   “So don’t worry saying `What will we eat or what will we drink or what will we wear?’  For the pagans run after all these things.  Your heavenly Father knows you need them.[1]“  God says, I know you need those things.  Don’t worry like the pagans. What’s a pagan?  A pagan is somebody who doesn’t know God or somebody who doesn’t believe God. Do not worry like somebody who doesn’t believe.

He says non believers have a right to worry.  They ought to.  They’re trying to make it through the world on their own effort. If you not a believer, get to know God better, read the bible, go to church, ask questions.

As follower of Christ we are different.  We don’t have to worry because we trust a heavenly Father who promises to take care of us.  God is saying, “You’re My child but you’re acting like an orphan.  I want to take care of you.”  I love the phrase, “Your Father knows you need them.”  Yet how often do we act like God is totally unaware that the house payment is coming up next week and that the car’s broken down and two of the kids are sick and that taxes are coming around the corner.  We act as if it all depends on us.  Jesus is saying, don’t act like that.  That’s unbelief.

Worry could be summed up in two words:  playing God.  Worry is assuming responsibility that God never intended for me to have in the first place.  He says, “I know what you need, trust me.”   He does a better job than I would anyway.  Get to know God better.

We think the only thing God is good for is Sunday mornings and salvation.  We need to get to know God better.  That’s why we have NEXT STEPS: Growth Groups, giving, serving, and missions  Take a next step, you will grow and get to know God better.

“He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all– how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?” [2] Give us ALL things.  Get to know God beyond just your salvation.

It’s amazing we can trust God for our eternal salvation, but then we say, “Lord, I’ll handle my finances, family, friends, health and everything else!”  If I trust God for my eternal soul, I can trust Him for my daily life.

*There’s a story about a guy walking down a country road with a heavy backpack.  A pick up came along and picked him up.  About three miles down the road the man said, “Why don’t you take off your backpack and throw it into the back? I know it’s a heavy load.” He said, “Oh, no!  It’s enough for you to carry me.  I’ll carry my own load.”   We think that’s silly but that’s the way we treat God.  The next way to worry less is to..

 2.  Trust God For Things I Can’t Control.

Much of life is beyond our control and I think God allows this so we can learn to trust Him.

We find it hard to trust God because people have let us down.  It makes it worse when someone says “Don’t worry,”  like these famous last words.

•  Don’t worry, I can go another twenty miles when the gauge is on “empty.”

•  Don’t worry, he’s never bitten anyone.

•   Said by the moving company, “Don’t Worry we’ll treat your stuff as if it were our own.”

•  Don’t worry I’ll take care of everything.”

•  Don’t worry, we can still be friends.

Because people often let us down we assume God will let us down.

“If that is how God clothes the grass of the field which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will He not much more clothe you, oh, you of little faith?[3]“  Jesus said, you don’t need to worry because God has promised to take care of you.

When I was a child and had a need, I would go to my father, I would need money for scout camping trips, baseball, football, soccer or church youth events, he would take care of it.  When I got older he said “get a job.”  But as a child I didn’t worry about where the money was coming from.  I didn’t worry about whether my dad had it or not.   God says, “I’m your heavenly Father.  And you don’t have to worry.  I will take care of your needs, trust Me.”

In the days of the country store, a little boy went his mother shopping. He saved his money for a treat. “How much candy can I get with three pennies?” the boy asked.  “A handful” said, the storekeeper, “Take a handful of candy, Son.” But the boy just stood there. “Then storekeeper reached into the box and gave him a handful. His mother asked, “Why didn’t you to take a handful?” The boy replied, “Because his hands are bigger than mine!”  God’s hands are bigger than ours!

“My God shall supply all your needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus.”[4]

   Worry is a misunderstanding of the nature of God.  God loves me.  God’s interested in me.  God’s cares about everything in my life.

3. Put God First In Everything  “But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness and all of these other things will be given to you as well.” [5] Food, clothing, happiness and all these “other things” are given when God is first.

Worry is an indication of mixed up values. Whenever I start worrying it’s a warning light – that’s saying my priorities are out of order.  To overcome worry is put God first in every area.

*The starting point is to commit your life to Jesus Christ and He can heal those worries. The Bible says when anyone becomes a believer in Christ, all of the “old life is passed away and the new life begins to come.”[6]  All the old ways of responding to life — the habits, the thoughts, the patterns of reacting to life — they’re released and we begin to grow in a new life.

As long as we love anything before God, we’re going to be victimized by worry and anxiety.  We were not made to put other things in front of God.  When we do, it causes anxiety in our lives.

Every person must decide: Who or what am I going to live for?

Whatever you live for becomes your master.  God says “You can’t have two masters.”[7]  If you want Me to help with worry, make Me number one in your life and as a result I will bring everything else into focus.  All these other things will be added unto you.  But if you put those other things first, I’m out of the picture. ” Start worrying when God’s out of the picture because you’re out there on your own, trying to make it in a life designed to live simply in your own power.

Money is funny in that whether you have it or not, you still worry about it.  You can be a multi‑ millionaire or you can be dirt poor, but either way, you’re still going to worry about it.  If you don’t have it, you worry about how to get it.  If you’ve got it, you’ll worry about losing it. Either way, you’re going to worry.  So Jesus says, “Don’t worry about those kinds of things.  Trust Me.  Put Me first in your life.”

A practical way you can trust God every moment.

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”[8]

 If it’s something to worry about, it’s something to pray about. If it’s something to be anxious about, it’s something to give to God.  Trade the anxiety for peace. Tell God, “I’m not worrying I’m praying.  I’m not anxious I’m giving it to you God.  You’re in control.”

4. Live One Day At A Time v. 34 “Therefore do not worry about tomorrow. Tomorrow will worry about itself.  Everyday has enough trouble of its own.”[9]  That is about as relevant as you can get.   Jesus says don’t open your umbrella before it starts raining.  Don’t start worrying before you get there. Don’t cross the bridge until you get to it.

Every week there are two days you should never worry about: Yesterday and Tomorrow.  Concentrate on today.  In worrying about tomorrow’s problems, I miss today’s blessings.

God has made our lives that we’re to live on a day by day basis.  That doesn’t mean you don’t plan.  Jesus advised it.  You plan for tomorrow, but you have to live today.  Don’t worry about it because today’s resources are not sufficient for tomorrow’s problems.  God gives you just enough grace, just enough power for now.

The Bible does not say, “Give us this day our weekly bread.”  It says, “Give us this day our daily bread.”  What you need for today will be sufficient for today.  When you get to the problem tomorrow, God will give you the power for the problem tomorrow. It’s ok to plan for tomorrow.  God wants you to plan and set goals, dream dreams, set objectives and move toward them.  But you don’t worry about tomorrow’s problems.  You live one day at a time.

The future, when you think about it, can really be overwhelming. It can get you down when you realize how it’s coming in at you. God designed the future to come at our lives in bite sized portions.  It comes in 24-hour segments, one day at a time.  It’s like the hour glass.  You flip it upside down and the sand goes through, but only one grain at a time.  That’s the way God intends for us to deal with our problems — one at a time.  You deal with one and then the next one comes along to deal with.

Worry and trust are opposites.  They cannot live together in a home.  When worry comes in the front door, trust goes out the back door.  Fill your mind with trust — trust God in every area — and worry departs.

*Have you ever read your insurance policy?  Its great night time reading if you want to fall asleep fast! Whenever I get an insurance policy, I read what it covers quickly.  Niki knows the medical policies I know the auto and home.  Once I know what it covers, I don’t worry about what’s covered.

The Bible is God’s contract to us.  He says, “This is what I’m committing myself to regarding your family, your finances, your health, your life, your past, your present, your future.”  When you know it’s covered in your contract, you can relax.  He’ll make good on it.

What’s got you worried?  The economy?  Job?  Personal problem?  Marriage?  Health?  A problem with friends?  A problem at work?

Jesus Christ has made it possible for you to live with less worry. He is God, He is in control. Put your life in Jesus’ hands and trust Him on a day by day, moment by moment basis.  You can live with less worry and anxiety.  Peace is found by trusting Jesus.

Darrell

www.RidgeFellowship.com

[1] Matthew 6:31

Have you ever noticed how easy it is to worry?   The root English word for “worry” literally means “to choke or strangle”.  That’s what happens when we worry.  We choke or strangle the joy out of life.

The fact is, we all worry about something.  Even though I’m a believer and committed to God, I worry about my children, about the future and about our church.  What if people stop coming?  What if.. What if?  Worry is essentially a control issue.  Worry is trying to control the uncontrollable.  The truth is, worry never solves anything.

Jesus gives us some insights on worry.  In Matthew 6:25-28, he reminds us

*Worry doesn’t make sense.  Verse 25 “Therefore I tell you, don’t worry….  Not a suggestion, a command.  It’s a hard one to keep.  He knows and he’s telling us “don’t do it”.

…don’t worry about your life, what you’ll eat or drink, or about your body, what you’ll wear. Is not life more important than food and the body more important than clothes?”

We all worry even about things we need such as food or clothing.  Jesus says no, worry doesn’t solve anything.  Worry doesn’t put food on the table.  Worry doesn’t put clothes on your back. Worry doesn’t make sense, it creates problems.

In one Worry Study I read:

40% of our worries never come to pass.
30 % are related to past decisions that cannot be changed
12 % involve other people’s perceptions of us that are not even founded/we cannot change these
10% relate to health…your health gets worse when you worry!
ONLY 8% of our worry is legitimate.

To worry about something we can’t change is useless.  To worry about something we can change is senseless, change it.   Either way we shouldn’t worry.  If I can change it, change it.  If I can’t, don’t worry about it.

Worry is also senseless because it always exaggerates my problems.  Have you noticed that when you get a worry; such as someone criticizes you. Each time you go over it in your mind, it gets bigger ‑‑ until finally, you feel the whole world’s against you.  That’s the way worry is.  Jesus says, “It makes no sense, it throws things all out of proportion.  Life is more than that prison we have created.

*Worry doesn’t meet my needs.  v. 26 He says “Look at the birds in the air.  They don’t sow, they don’t reap, they don’t store in barns.  Yet your heavenly Father feeds them.  Are you not much more valuable than they?   Verse 28  And see, why do you worry about your clothes?  See the lilies of the field how they grow.  They don’t labor or spin but I tell you, not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these.”

Now, He gives us a little lesson here from nature.  And first He talks about bird watching.  Now, I’m not a ornithologist but I enjoy every now and then watching the birds in my yard.  And now God says, “I take care of birds, aren’t you a lot more valuable than birds?  Then he moves from bird watching to a botany lesson.   “Look at the flowers.”  Have you ever looked at a flower up closely and see the intricacy. God took the time to make a flower that’s so beautiful and colorful and it is not even going to last a week.

Animals don’t worry, and plants don’t worry.  In all of God’s creation, humans worry.  We weren’t born worrying.  It’s something we learn.  We have work at it to get good at it.  That’s good, because if it’s something we learned, it’s something we can unlearn!   Worry doesn’t meet my needs, God does.

*Worry doesn’t change my circumstances for the better.   Verse 27 “Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?” Worrying cannot make me taller, shorter, lengthen my life.  In fact it does the opposite, it shortens my life.   It’s like a hamster on a wheel – a lot of activity, no forward progress. That’s what worry is. It’s an emotional treadmill.  Worry only changes is me, not the situation.

Our bodies were not designed to take the stress of worry.  That’s why when we worry, we have health problems — back aches, stomach aches, ulcers and insomnia. Have you ever heard anybody say, “I am worried sick.”  It’s true.  I read that this year there will be 7.5 billion headaches in America.  Every day Americans consume fifteen tons of pain killers.  Worry affects my health.

Somebody has said, Worry is stewing without doing.  Worrying cannot change the past.  Worrying cannot control the future, it makes me miserable today. Corrie Ten Boom has written, “Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow, it empties today of its strength.”

That’s great but how do I stop?  Berating myself doesn’t work, forcing myself not worry doesn’t work.  How do we stop?

When God commands us you to do something, He always give us the power and the practical steps to fulfill it.   Worry is assuming responsibility that God never intended for me to have in the first place.

We will look at those steps in the next post.

Darrell

www.RidgeFellowship.com

“No one knows what is coming”– Ecclesiastes 10:14

“No one knows… but the Father.  Matthew 24:36

The inability to tolerate uncertainty plays a huge role in anxiety and worry. Chronic worriers can’t stand doubt or unpredictability. They need to know with 100 percent certainty what’s going to happen. Worrying is seen as a way to predict what the future has in store—a way to prevent unpleasant surprises and control the outcome. The problem is, it doesn’t work.

Thinking about all the things that could go wrong doesn’t make life any more predictable. You may feel safer when you’re worrying, but it’s just an illusion. Focusing on worst-case scenarios won’t keep bad things from happening. It will only keep you from enjoying the good things you have in the present. So if you want to stop worrying, start by tackling your need for certainty and immediate answers.

Ask yourself the following questions and write down your responses. See if you can come to an understanding of the disadvantages and problems of being intolerant of uncertainty.

• Is it possible to be certain about everything in life?
• What are the advantages of requiring certainty, versus the disadvantages? Or, how is needing certainty in life helpful and unhelpful?
• Do you tend to predict bad things will happen just because they are uncertain? Is this a reasonable thing to do? What is the likelihood of positive or neutral outcomes?
• Is it possible to live with the small chance that something negative may happen, given its likelihood is very low?

Adapted from: Accepting Uncertainty, Centre for Clinical Interventions

“Do not be anxious for anything, but in everything…present your requests to God.”  Philippians 4 6

If you suffer from chronic anxiety and worries, chances are you look at the world in ways that make it seem more dangerous than it really is. For example, you may overestimate the possibility that things will turn out badly, jump immediately to worst-case scenarios, or treat every negative thought as if it were fact. You may also discredit your own ability to handle life’s problems, assuming you’ll fall apart at the first sign of trouble. These irrational, pessimistic attitudes are known as cognitive distortions.

Although cognitive distortions aren’t based on reality, they’re not easy to give up. Often, they’re part of a lifelong pattern of thinking that’s become so automatic you’re not even completely aware of it. In order to break these bad thinking habits and stop the worry and anxiety they bring, you must retrain your brain.

Start by identifying the frightening thought, being as detailed as possible about what scares or worries you. Then, instead of viewing your thoughts as facts, treat them as hypotheses you’re testing out. As you examine and challenge your worries and fears, you’ll develop a more balanced perspective.

Stop worry by questioning the worried thought:

• What’s the evidence that the thought is true? That it’s not true?
• Is there a more positive, realistic way of looking at the situation?
• What’s the probability that what I’m scared of will actually happen?
• If the probability is low, what are some more likely outcomes?
• Is the thought helpful? How will worrying about it help me and how will it hurt me?
• What would I say to a friend who had this worry?

“Do not be misled: “Bad company corrupts good character.”   1 Corinthians 15:33

How you feel is affected by the company you keep, whether you’re aware of it or not. Studies show that emotions are contagious. We quickly “catch” moods from other people—even from strangers who never speak a word (e.g. the terrified woman sitting by you on the plane; the fuming man in the checkout line). The people you spend a lot of time with have an even greater impact on your mental state.

• Spend less time with people who make you anxious. Is there someone in your life who drags you down or always seems to leave you feeling stressed? Think about cutting back on the time you spend with that person or establish healthier relationship boundaries. For example, you might set certain topics off-limits, if you know that talking about them with that person makes you anxious.
• Choose your confidantes carefully. Know who to talk to about situations that make you anxious. Some people will help you gain perspective, while others will feed into your worries, doubts, and fears.

“And do this, understand the present time.”  Romans 13:11

Worrying is usually focused on the future—on what might happen and what you’ll do about it. The centuries-old practice of mindfulness can help you break free of your worries by bringing your attention back to the present. In contrast to the previous techniques of challenging your anxious thoughts or postponing them to a worry period, this strategy is based on observing and then letting them go. Together, they can help you identify where your thinking is causing problems, while helping you get in touch with your emotions.

• Acknowledge and observe your anxious thoughts and feelings. Don’t try to ignore, fight, or control them like you usually would. Instead, simply observe them as if from an outsider’s perspective, without reacting or judging.
• Let your worries go. Notice that when you don’t try to control the anxious thoughts that pop up, they soon pass, like clouds moving across the sky. It’s only when you engage your worries that you get stuck.
• Stay focused on the present. Pay attention to the way your body feels, the rhythm of your breathing, your ever-changing emotions, and the thoughts that drift across your mind. If you find yourself getting stuck on a particular thought, bring your attention back to the present moment.

Using mindfulness meditation to stay focused on the present is a simple concept, but it takes practice to reap the benefits. At first, you’ll probably find that your mind keeps wandering back to your worries. Try not to get frustrated. Each time you draw your focus back to the present, you’re reinforcing a new mental habit that will help you break free of the negative worry cycle.

“Do not worry about tomorrow… Each day has enough trouble of its own. “  Matthew 6:34

In the next post, we’ll look more what Jesus says about worry.

Darrell

www.RidgeFellowship.com

Source: adapted from http://www.helpguide.org/mental/anxiety_self_help.htm

For this and other great resources check out:  www.helpguide.org