10 Ways to Be an All Pro Dad

Posted on June 17, 2012 by dkoop


1. Love Your Wife True love is not a feeling. It is a decision. It’s an act of the will to be patient, kind, humble, hopeful, giving, faithful and trusting.

When you commit to loving your wife this way, your feelings for her, and hers for you, will follow. Actively loving your wife will radically strengthen your marriage and will also be incredibly beneficial to your children. The number one source of security for kids is to know that their dad loves their mother and is steadfastly committed to her well-being.

 2. Spend Time With Your Kids How you spend your time reflects what’s important to you. If you value your kids, you’ll want to be with them. You don’t need to wait for the perfect time, when you can take a vacation or an afternoon off from work. Instead, grab those small pockets of time as they present themselves throughout the day. Call your kids on your cell phone between appointments just to say “hi.”

Send them an e-mail from work. Read to them at bedtime. Carve out a few minutes to help them with their homework. Go to breakfast and drop them off at school. Grab every moment you can get with your children.

 3. Be a Role Model It’s impossible to underestimate the importance of a father modeling the type of behavior he desires to see in his children. Role models don’t just talk the talk; they walk the walk of an honorable man. A great place to start is consistency. Do you keep your word? Do you stand up for what is right, even when it costs you? Are you trustworthy? Are you loyal in your relationships? Be what you want your children to be!

 4. Understand Your Children Like you, every child has unique DNA, unique fingerprints, and a unique personality. In order to be the best father you can be, you’ll need to understand your children as individuals. How do your kids think? What do they like or dislike? You’ll also want to know what your children need from you the most. One may need encouragement. The other responds better with affection. And this crucial understanding can only come if you’re committed to really getting to know them.

 5. Show Affection Children long for a secure place in this fast-paced world. They find it most often in the warm embrace of a parent. As children grow, so does their need for acceptance and a sense of belonging. Such a need is met when a father offers a hug, or a kind word, and expresses his appreciation and love for his children. But showing affection doesn’t stop there. Make sure to say, “I love you” every day.

 6. Enjoy Your Children Have you been to a baseball game or ballet recital recently? Some parents at these kinds of events are way too focused on their kids achieving rather than just having fun. Push your kids when they need to be pushed, but savor just being with them.

Wrestle on the floor with your children. Build a fort with your son. Have a pretend tea party with your daughter. Enjoy being with them, doing what they like to do. They’ll grow up too fast and leave you wishing you had more time with them just to hang out and have fun.

 7. Eat Together As a Family Most children today don’t know the meaning of a family dinnertime. Yet the communication and unity built during this time is integral to a healthy family life. Sharing a meal together—breakfast, lunch or dinner—provides structure to an often hectic schedule. It also gives kids the opportunity to talk about their lives. This is a time for fathers to listen, as well as give advice and encouragement. Most importantly, however, it is a time to be together on a daily basis.

8. Discipline with a Gentle Spirit True discipline is a function of a father’s love for his children, which is why it should never be hard-nosed or harsh. Discipline’s role is not to intimidate or tear down, but to mold and to correct. Correcting your kids should be done in private, and you and your wife should be unified in how you discipline. Strive to be consistent.

 9. Pray and Worship Together Families that have a healthy prayer life and take worshipping God seriously help their children to understand that there is an ultimate authority in their lives – an authority who provides moral absolutes for them to live by. Every child needs to know that there is a right and wrong, good and evil. Living under the authority of God will give them that knowledge.

 10. Realize You’re a Father Forever Someday every father must let go of the youthful activities that bond him with his children.  But a good father realizes that as he allows his children their freedom to direct their own lives, he doesn’t abandon them at a dorm room, a wedding altar, or the door of their first job. He continues to encourage, coach and convey his wisdom to his children forever.

For additional information go to http://www.AllProDad.com

© 2011 Family First. All Rights Reserved. Family First, All Pro Dad, iMom, and Family Minute with Mark Merrill are registered trademarks.

I hope you enjoyed this.  Being a father is a powerful force in the life of your children.  My goal is to encourage you and help you be the best dad you can be.  I am praying for you.

Darrell

www.RidgeFellowship.com

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Why Fathers are Essential

Posted on June 17, 2012 by dkoop

Fathers are just as essential to healthy child development as mothers. Psychology Today explained, “Fatherhood turns out to be a complex and unique phenomenon with huge consequences for the emotional and intellectual growth of children.”

Erik Erikson, a pioneer in the world of child psychology, asserts that a father’s love and a mother’s love are qualitatively different. Fathers “love more dangerously” because their love is more “expectant, more instrumental” than a mother’s love.  A father brings unique contributions to the job of parenting a child that no one else can replicate. Following are some of the most compelling ways that a father’s involvement makes a positive difference in a child’s life.

Fathers parent differently.

Fathering expert Dr. Kyle Pruett explains that fathers have a distinct style of communication and interaction with children. By eight weeks of age, infants can tell the difference between their mother’s and father’s interaction with them.

This diversity, in itself, provides children with a broader, richer experience of contrasting

relational interactions. Whether they realize it or not, children are learning, by sheer experience, that men and women are different and have different ways of dealing with life, other adults and children. This understanding is critical for their development.

 Fathers play differently.

 Fathers tickle more, they wrestle, and they throw their children in the air (while mother says . . .”Not so high!”). Fathers chase their children, sometimes as playful, scary “monsters.” Fathering expert John Snarey explains that children who roughhouse with their fathers learn that biting, kicking and other forms of physical violence are not acceptable.3 They learn self-control by being told when “enough is enough” and when to settle down. Girls and boys both learn a healthy balance between timidity and aggression.

 Fathers build confidence.

 Go to any playground and listen to the parents. Who is encouraging kids to swing or climb just a little higher, ride their bike just a little faster, throw just a little harder? Who is encouraging kids to be careful? Mothers protect and dads encourage kids to push the limits.

Either of these parenting styles by themselves can be unhealthy. One can tend toward encouraging risk without consideration of consequences. The other tends to avoid risk, which can fail to build independence and confidence. Together, they help children remain safe while expanding their experiences and increasing their confidence.

Fathers communicate differently.

 A major study showed that when speaking to children, mothers and fathers are different. Mothers will simplify their words and speak on the child’s level. Men are not as inclined to modify their language for the child. The mother’s way facilitates immediate communication; the father’s way challenges the child to expand her vocabulary and linguistic skills — an important building block of academic success.

Fathers discipline differently.

 Educational psychologist Carol Gilligan tells us that fathers stress justice, fairness and duty (based on rules), while mothers stress sympathy, care and help (based on relationships). Fathers tend to observe and enforce rules systematically and sternly, teaching children the consequences of right and wrong. Mothers tend toward grace and sympathy, providing a sense of hopefulness.  Again, either of these disciplinary approaches by themselves is not good, but together, they create a healthy, proper balance.

 Fathers prepare children for the real world.

Involved dads help children see that attitudes and behaviors have consequences. For instance, fathers are more likely than mothers to tell their children that if they are not nice to others, kids will not want to play with them. Or, if they don’t do well in school, they will not get into a good college or secure a desirable job. Fathers help children prepare for the reality and harshness of the world.

Fathers provide a look at the world of men.

 Men and women are different. They eat differently. They dress differently. They cope with life differently. Girls and boys who grow up with a father are more familiar and secure with the curious world of men.  Girls with involved, married fathers are more likely to have healthier relationships with the opposite sex because they learn from their fathers how proper men act toward women. They know which behaviors are inappropriate.

They also have a healthy familiarity with the world of men — they don’t wonder how a man’s facial stubble feels or what it’s like to be hugged by strong arms. This knowledge builds emotional security and safety from the exploitation of predatory males.

Boys who grow up with dads are less likely to be violent. They have their masculinity affirmed and learn from their fathers how to channel their masculinity and strength in positive ways.

Fathers help sons understand proper male sexuality, hygiene and behavior in age-appropriate ways. As noted sociologist David Popenoe explains, “Fathers are far more than just ‘second adults’ in the home. Involved fathers — especially biological fathers — bring positive benefits to their children that no other person is as likely to bring.”

Source:  Glenn T. Stanton

Happy Father’s Day!  I hope you enjoyed this.  Being a father is a powerful force in the life of your children.  My goal is to encourage you and help you be the best dad you can be.  I am praying for you.  Darrell

www.RidgeFellowship.com

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Spiritual Gifts listed in 1 Peter 4: 10-11

Posted on June 16, 2012 by dkoop

4:10 Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God’s grace in its various forms.NIV Each person has received one or more spiritual gifts from God. A spiritual gift is a talent or ability empowered by the Holy Spirit and able to be used in the ministry of the church. Spiritual “gifts” help God’s people to serve and love one another (4:8) and continue the work of spreading the gospel. Paul wrote, “Just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, so in Christ we who are many form one body, and each member belongs to all the others. We have different gifts, according to the grace given us” (Romans 12:4-6 niv). Different types of gifts given to God’s people are listed in Romans 12:6-8; 1 Corinthians 12:4-11, 27-31; and Ephesians 4:11-12—these lists are different and are by no means exhaustive. When believers humbly recognize their partnership in the body of Christ, their gifts can be used effectively. Only then can they also appreciate one another’s gifts. God gives his people various spiritual gifts so they can build up his church. The gifts were not meant for self-aggrandizement; instead, each believer has received at least one gift from God in order to serve others.

When believers use their gifts in humble service to others, they are actually faithfully administering God’s grace in its various forms. The gifts God gives believers are as varied and many-faceted as are the believers themselves. As God’s grace varies in its dealings with people, so God’s gifts (given because of his grace) are varied in their administration of his grace as Christ’s body on earth. To be “faithful” means not to hide the gifts, but to use them as they were meant to be used—serving and building up the body of Christ.

 *LIFE APPLICATION –  A GIFT FOR YOU
Our abilities should be faithfully used in serving others; none are for our own exclusive enjoyment. Some people, well aware of their abilities, believe that they have the right to use their abilities as they please. Others feel that they have no special talents at all. Peter addresses both groups in these verses. Because each believer has been given a way to minister, we should find our way to serve and do it. Most importantly, when we see a need in the church, we should meet it the best way we can. If it’s possible to serve by way of our gift, that’s great. But if there remains a need, even though it may not be perfectly matched to our gift we still should help. We should never withhold our ability to minister.

4:11 Whoever speaks must do so as one speaking the very words of God; whoever serves must do so with the strength that God supplies, so that God may be glorified in all things through Jesus Christ.NRSV Scholars differ on Peter’s focus here. Some say whoever speaks refers not just to those speaking publicly (preachers and teachers), but to the speech of all believers in the worship setting, including speaking in tongues. Speaking in tongues was usually regarded more as prayer than proclamation (see 1 Corinthians 14:2, 28). The words speaking the very words of God set this apart from everyday conversation. All believers, when conversing with one another in a worship context, ought to speak God’s words, meaning that everything they say should be spoken seriously and after careful study and prayer so that they are speaking God’s truth. (Others say that Peter was not speaking to everyone, but only to the preachers and teachers. They explain that as the apostles divided the ministry of the church into two categories—preaching and serving, see Acts 6—so Peter was dividing the church’s body into two groups—teachers and servers—although admittedly, these overlap. However, the text does not support this interpretation.) Peter encouraged the believers to use their gifts (4:10). Men and women with gifts that required speaking must be responsible with what they said.

Likewise, those gifted with abilities that centered on serving also have a responsibility—to serve not in their own strength but with the strength that God supplies. If believers serve in their own strength alone or in order to look good to others, they will begin to find serving a wearisome task. But to serve with God’s strength is to be able to go above and beyond, and to do so for one purpose: so that God may be glorified in all things through Jesus Christ. When believers use their gifts as God directs (to help others and build up the church), others will see Jesus Christ in them and will glorify him for the help they have received. Peter may have been thinking of Jesus’ words, “Let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven” (Matthew 5:16 NIV).

LIFE APPLICATION – WHOSE POWER?
We need God’s strength to do God’s work. A vital church requires lots of serving—and that means work. Typically, much of the work falls on a few shoulders. Those people need the strength that God supplies. How do active people get help from God’s supply cabinet? Often they get it through your efforts. They need your prayers, cooperation, and an occasional sabbatical. Offer to pitch in, to provide relief, and to shoulder a load.
All who serve must trust in God for the joy to do the work cheerfully. When your batteries run low, take a break for prayer and meditation. Work is lighter when it’s shared, and easy when you feel God’s joy in it.

To him belong the glory and the power forever and ever. Amen.NRSV This is a brief doxology. To him refers directly back to Jesus Christ. God is glorified in all things, but to Christ also belongs the glory and the power forever and ever, for God raised Christ from the dead and gave him lordship over all creation. It is through Jesus Christ alone that believers have a relationship with God that allows them to receive gifts from a gracious God and use those gifts to serve others.

Darrell

www.ridgefellowship.com

Source:  Life Application Bible Commentary

 

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Spiritual Gifts listed in Ephesians 4: 8-12

Posted on June 16, 2012 by dkoop

4:7 But to each one of us grace has been given as Christ apportioned it.NIV Although the church is one unified body, each of its members has a special ability to be used for the good and growth of all. No one is overlooked; everyone is important to building up the community. The word “grace” is used here as it was in 3:2, 7-8, referring to the privilege of having been called by God. Although Christians are called to be unified, God in his wisdom did not make believers photocopies of one another. Instead, each believer is given grace (one or more gifts) as Christ apportioned it. In his infinite wisdom, Christ gave different gifts to different people. Every believer has a gift; no one has all the gifts. In this way, believers need one another in the church as they seek to accomplish the work of the kingdom.

 *LIFE APPLICATION  BOXED GIFTS
One hundred trained, talented musicians playing together can produce music that is breathtakingly beautiful. The same one hundred musicians playing independently of each other can produce earsplitting noise. The difference is that while the second group is completely self-absorbed, focusing only on themselves, the first group is in harmony, concentrating on the music and following the conductor. The analogy for the church should be obvious. When we focus on following the Lord and fulfilling his purposes for us, it is a beautiful—even awesome— thing to see. When we focus on ourselves and pursue our own selfish agendas, it is a pitiful or even laughable sight. God has given to each believer gifts according to Christ’s own matchless gift. These gifts are not just for our own personal benefit, however; they are for the good of the whole body. What are you doing with yours?

4:8 Therefore it is said, “When he ascended on high he made captivity itself a captive; he gave gifts to his people.”NRSV The phrase “therefore it is said” is a favorite rabbinic introduction to a scriptural quotation. It conveys and reaffirms the divine authority of Scripture. Here it introduces a scriptural basis for spiritual gifts. Psalm 68:18 pictures God as conqueror as the ark of the covenant was being brought up to Zion in triumph by David (2 Samuel 6; 1 Chronicles 15). It had been removed in battle. As David returns the ark to Jerusalem, he also brings the tribute of war extracted from the captured foes. Some of the spoils was given to the temple, and some was distributed among the warriors. Paul used that picture to refer to Christ’s ascent into heaven. The work and authority for apportioning spiritual gifts rightly belongs to the ascended Christ. Paul’s development of this theme prepares readers for his thoughts in 4:11. In the psalm, the victory is over David’s foes. In Paul’s reference, Christ, the Son of David, is triumphant in destroying his foe Satan. In the psalm, the conqueror receives gifts and, as was the custom, distributes a portion of the spoils to his people. Paul’s reference means that God began to give special gifts to people following Christ’s return to heaven.

The statement “he made captivity itself a captive” has one of two meanings: (1) He led the captured ones (as one would lead a train of vanquished foes) into their captivity, or (2) he captured the captors (that is, he reversed the captivity; he enslaved the enslavers). Both meanings imply that Christ vanquished our enemies (such as death, Satan, and sin) and captivated them. He returned in triumph to heaven (ascended on high) and, in turn, gave gifts to his people.

Paul used the picture from Psalm 68:18 to explain how Christ conquered his enemies, returned to glory, and bestowed gifts on his church. The gifts God gave to his church (in the form of people called to special functions) are described in 4:11-12.


* LIFE APPLICATION – OPEN YOUR GIFT
Oneness in Christ does not destroy individuality. The Holy Spirit has given each Christian special gifts for building up the church. Now that we have these gifts, it is crucial to use them. Are you spiritually mature, exercising the gifts God has given you? If you know what your gifts are, look for opportunities to serve. If you don’t know, ask God to show you, perhaps with the help of your minister or Christian friends. Then, as you begin to recognize your special area of service, use your gifts to strengthen and encourage the church.

4:11 The gifts he gave were that some would be apostles, some prophets, some evangelists, some pastors and teachers.NRSV This expands on the thought begun in 4:7-8 regarding the gifts Christ gave. In this context, these gifts are actually people who have been called to special functions. Not all people have all the gifts, for Paul was clear to explain that some would be gifted in one area and some in another. The list given here is by no means complete (for other types of gifts, see Romans 12; 1 Corinthians 12). According to the Greek, all the people listed are direct objects of “gave,” indicating that God gave these people to the church as gifts. The offices listed here focus mainly on those who proclaim the gospel and teach the truth.

First listed are the apostles and prophets, they are the foundation for Christ’s temple (see 2:20 and 3:6). “Apostles” included the eleven men Jesus called (without Judas), plus others who are called apostles—such as Paul himself (Romans 1:1), Matthias (Acts 1:26), Barnabas (Acts 14:14), Jesus’ brother James (Galatians 1:19), Silas (1 Thessalonians 2:6), Andronicus and Junias (Romans 16:7). It seems that the qualifications for being an apostle were to have seen the risen Christ, to have been sent out by him to preach the gospel, and to be working on behalf of the kingdom, building its foundation (as noted in 2:20). Paul also notes “signs, wonders, and miracles” as marks of a true apostle (2 Corinthians 12:12).

God also gave prophets to the church. These people, also laborers on the church’s “foundation” (2:20), had special gifts in ministering God’s messages to his people. At times they would foretell the future (Acts 11:28; 21:9, 11), but more often their job was to exhort, encourage, and strengthen God’s people (Acts 15:32; 1 Corinthians 14:29). God spoke through prophets—inspiring them with specific messages for particular times and places.

The evangelists were the traveling ministers, similar to the missionaries of today. They went to non-Christian people and proclaimed the gospel to them, often being the first to start a church in a particular area (Acts 21:8; 2 Timothy 4:5).

Next, God gave pastors and teachers. These two gifts are likely the same. While the apostles, prophets, and evangelists had a universal sphere of function (the church as a whole), the pastors and teachers probably served in the local churches. Like shepherds, they tended God’s “flock,” handling the day-to-day affairs of their congregation—administering, counseling, guiding, feeding.

*LIFE APPLICATION  WHO’S YOUR MINISTER?
How many ministers are there in your church? One? Three? If it’s a big church—eight or ten? Before you answer that question, read Ephesians 4:11-12 carefully. Here Paul shows that God gives pastors and teachers to his church not to be the ministers of the church but to equip the ministers. Who then are the ministers? All Christians are to be ministers, so you are one of them. The role of pastors and teachers is to train and equip the “saints” (all believers) to be able to serve in whatever ways that God has called them. So if your church has one hundred members and only one minister, there’s a big problem. We are all called to be ministers. What is your ministry? How are you being equipped for it? In what ways are you using that training and your gift(s) for the building up of the body?

4:12 To equip the saints for the work of ministry, for building up the body of Christ.NRSV These specially gifted people (4:11) were given to the church for one ultimate goal: to equip the saints. The word for “equip” means to make right, like the setting of a broken bone, or to bring to completion by training or restoring. The apostles, prophets, evangelists, pastors, and teachers furnish and equip the believers to do the work of the ministry, which results in the building up the body of Christ. The church builds itself in the faith as the members care for one another, show love, and generally manifest the other gifts God gives (as mentioned in Romans 12 and 1 Corinthians 12). Yet the church also builds itself as it reaches out to its surrounding community with the love of Christ, drawing others into the fold. God has given his church an enormous responsibility—to make disciples in every nation (Matthew 28:18-20). This involves preaching, teaching, healing, nurturing, giving, administering, building, and many other tasks. Fulfilling this command solo would be impossible. But God calls us as members of his body. No one should be a bystander, an observer. Everyone must do the work of ministry. Some of us can do one task; some can do another. Together we can obey God more fully than any of us could alone. We tend to overestimate what we can do by ourselves and underestimate what we can do as a group. But as the body of Christ, we can accomplish more together than we could dream possible working by ourselves. Working together, the church can express the fullness of Christ.

Darrell

www.ridgefellowship.com

Source:  Life Application Bible Commentary

 

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