We’ve come to an important theme of this letter, the example and the person of Christ in 2:21–25.
In all cases, Christians are to present themselves before a watching world as people who emulate Jesus. We are to pattern our lives on his example. For in doing so we present the world fresh and vibrant pictures of living hope. Clearly, that is the logic of our opening verses. Equally clear are Peter’s desires that his words apply to all Christian wives, not just those who are married to unbelieving husbands, for the text says, “even if some do not obey the word.” So the force behind the words we are looking at in 3:1–6 are intended for all Christian wives. These verses are amazing and work so well for wives to impact the world around them, starting with their husbands.
When a man became a Christian, he usually would bring his whole family into the church with him (see, for example, the story of the conversion of the Philippian jailer in Acts 16:29–34). By contrast, a woman who became a Christian usually came into the church alone. Under Roman law, the husband and father had absolute authority over all members of his household, including his wife. Demanding her rights as a free woman in Christ could endanger her marriage if her husband disapproved. Peter reassured Christian women who were married to unbelievers that they did not need to preach to their husbands. Under the circumstances, their best approach would be one of godly behavior: They should show their husbands the kind of self-giving love that Christ showed the church. By being exemplary wives, they would please their husbands. At the very least, the men might then allow them to continue practicing their faith. At best, their husbands would join them and become Christians, too.
A changed life speaks loudly and clearly, and it is often the most effective way to influence a family member. Peter instructs Christian wives to develop inner beauty rather than being overly concerned about their outward appearance; for far more important is the developing of an inner spirit of godliness. Live your Christian faith quietly and consistently in your home, so that your family will see Christ in you. True beauty begins inside (Proverbs 31:30).
To be submissive to another’s authority means to cooperate voluntarily out of love and respect for God and for that person. Ideally, submission is mutual (“Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ”—Ephesians 5:21). Even when it is onesided, however, the expression of submission can be an effective Christian witness. Jesus Christ submitted to death so that we could be saved; we may sometimes have to submit to unpleasant circumstances so that others will see Christ in us. (Christian submission never requires us to disobey God, remain in an unsafe situation, or participate in what our conscience forbids.) One-sided submission requires tremendous strength. We could not do it without the power of the Holy Spirit working in us.
So, what else does this living hope and soul-winning conduct look like in Christian wives? Peter begins his answer, just as he did when describing our eternal inheritance (1:4), by way of contrast. He tells us what good deeds and honorable conduct do not look like in Christian wives.
Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair, the wearing of gold, or the putting on of clothing—but … (3:3, 4)
Peter’s culture, like our own, had an obsession with external adornment. Women were under enormous pressure to look beautiful. They were fixated on their hair, the wearing of jewelry, and clothing. In response, Peter wants Christian women not to be overly concerned about external beauty. The wrong interpretation of this verse would leave women without any braiding of hair, wearing of jewelry, or wearing of clothing. Peter is not advocating any such thing! His concern is one of emphasis, as any discerning reader will understand. The pressures placed on Christian women by today’s culture are nothing short of oppressive. Women today can’t walk into a store without being bombarded with shelves devoted to hair products. They can’t walk down the street without being overwhelmed by the need for more jewelry. Women cannot open a magazine without being assaulted by the sense that their own closets are threadbare of anything worth wearing.
This passion for external adornment comes at a terrible cost for today’s women—the sense of never looking good enough, never being pretty enough, never measuring up. Women are made to feel inferior, ugly, and unlovable. And the consequences are mounting.
It is with a sense of irony then that we recognize that the Bible leads the way against such oppression and that Peter thinks more highly of women than does the culture in which we live. Peter wants to free women from the obscene obsession of looking good.
External vs Internal Adornment
What are Christian women to be concerned about instead?
But let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious. (3:4)
Peter calls upon Christian wives and women to adorn themselves with the “imperishable beauty” located in “the hidden person of the heart.” Literally, he asks wives to be concerned to dress “the inner man.” Peter tells Christian women to pay attention to the adornment with which they are dressing the interior of their souls. “Arise, put your feet on the ground, and get dressed from the inside out.” Further, he desires that they cultivate “a gentle and quiet spirit.” By way of application, women should consider how much time it takes to prepare getting ready in the morning, then see that Peter is urging them to take time to adorn the inner person as well. Christian women ought to be known for putting on the clothing of Christ. After all, he was gentle and meek.
The motivation for women taking the time to adorn their souls is now put forward by Peter. The later half of verse 4 says that in doing so they become “precious” in the sight of God. In other words, when God looks upon them, he is glad to have them for his bride. Men and fathers, is this the kind of woman we are teaching our sons to look for in a wife? Is this what we ourselves appreciate most in women? Are our hearts in tune with the heart of God concerning what is considered precious?
The Life of Sarah
Peter doesn’t stop at simply giving women instruction and motivation. He goes on in this text to provide an illustration, an example, for every woman to follow.
For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening. (3:5, 6)
When Peter went looking for a woman whose life modeled good works, he chose Sarah, the wife of Abraham. When he wanted to put forward someone with “a gentle and quiet spirit,” he selected Sarah. And we can all thank Peter for doing so. After all, Sarah wasn’t a wallflower woman. Sarah wasn’t weak. She was real. And the Scriptures portray her faith and life as precious and beautiful.
Why does Peter draw our attention to Sarah? It is because she lived out God’s principle of submission by calling Abraham, “lord.” I looked back in the Old Testament narrative to see the precise time when Sarah called Abraham that and found that it was at the time of her laughter. This “lord and laughter” day in her life is recorded in Genesis 18:9–14, and it is worth reading.
They said to him, “Where is Sarah your wife?” And he said, “She is in the tent.” The LORD said, “I will surely return to you about this time next year, and Sarah your wife shall have a son.” And Sarah was listening at the tent door behind him. Now Abraham and Sarah were old, advanced in years. The way of women had ceased to be with Sarah. So Sarah laughed to herself, saying, “After I am worn out, and my lord is old, shall I have pleasure?” The LORD said to Abraham, “Why did Sarah laugh and say, ‘Shall I indeed bear a child, now that I am old?’ Is anything too hard for the LORD?”
Interestingly, Sarah’s laughter betrayed her sense of disbelief—her nervous, verbal wonderment at the idea that God could fulfill his promise of a son. And God replied in effect, “Is anything impossible with God?”
The Laughter of Today’s Women
The laughter of Sarah can still be heard behind the curtain of our tents today. The voices of many women who hear these words on submission are likely to exclaim, “You have got to be kidding me. That’s absurd. God will keep his promises to me? He will keep me safe in this relationship?” And Peter says, “Yes. God can be trusted.” Women who give themselves to this pattern of life, though it is “frightening” (v. 6), will be those whom God meets in their hour of need. Those who entrust themselves to God will find that he will keep his word to them. And what was his promised word? “You have been born again to a living hope, and you shall receive an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled, and unfading.” You can trust God to keep his word. That is what Peter has been saying throughout this letter. Entrust yourself to God, and God will go with you.
So whatever your situation—an unjust official, an overbearing employer, a difficult husband—Peter wants you to know that God will deliver you. He can be trusted. And not only that, he wants you to know that when you live according to this pattern of submission, when you entrust yourself to God’s Word, you show yourself to be living a life modeled by Jesus and righteous Sarah.
Sarah reminds us of the Proverbs 31 woman. There verse 10 reads, “An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels” (a connection to 1 Peter 3:3, 4). “The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good [there is our word from 1 Peter 3:6], and not harm, all the days of her life” (vv. 11, 12). Proverbs 31:25 will go on to assert, “Strength and dignity are her clothing.” Isn’t that great? When Christian wives adorn themselves with gentleness and quietness, what do they get? They get strength and dignity!
Our Heavenly Father, help every man and woman, husband and wife to live in a way that pleases you. In Jesus’ name we pray, Amen.
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Read Along Daily Bible Reading: YouVersion (https://www.bible.com/organizations/370f8a6e-16bc-464f-8c43-0b7623fd2952)
Sources:
David R. Helm, 1 & 2 Peter and Jude: Sharing Christ’s Sufferings, Preaching the Word (Wheaton, IL: Crossway Books, 2008), 103–107.
Life Application Bible Notes (Tyndale, 2007), 2131–2132.
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