Marriage is hard work, consider the plight of a young husband who has been married about one year, and he writes with some trouble, but he writes this letter in the vernacular of the computer world. He writes the letter to tech support, saying:
“Dear Tech Support, last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 5.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up lots of space and valuable resources. In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs, and now monitors all other system activity.”
“Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0, Hunting and Fishing 7.5, and Racing 3.6, I can’t seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications. I think I’m thinking about going back to Girlfriend 5.0, but the uninstall doesn’t work on Wife 1.0. Please help!” Signed, “Troubled User.”
The letter comes back: “Dear Troubled User, this is a very common problem. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 5.0 to Wife 1.0 thinking that it’s just a utilities and entertainment program.”
“Oh, no. Wife 1.0 is an operating system and is designed by its creator to run everything. It’s impossible to uninstall or purge the program files from the system once installed. Wife 1.0 is designed not to allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 Manual. I suggest installing the background application called, Yes Dear to alleviate the software augmentation. The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE, because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway.
Peter also has something to say to husbands. He writes briefly:
Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered. 1 Peter 3:7
We note some areas of marriage conduct which Peter addresses here:
Companionship. “Live with them” (1 Peter 3:7). Companionship is one of the fundamental reasons for marriage. The first marriage (Adam and Eve) came about because God said it was not good for man to be alone (Genesis 2:18). Yet many men, after marriage, seem more interested in spending time “with the boys” than in keeping company with their wife. Society does not encourage togetherness, and even churches fail here, for we have men’s meetings and women’s meetings, men’s clubs, and women’s clubs, but few together meetings and clubs. But if a marriage is to stay together the couple must be together.
The husband is called upon to live with his wife with understanding or “according to knowledge” (v. 7, KJV; ESV, “in an understanding way”). The word used here for “knowledge” is used throughout the Bible in reference to sexual intercourse. A man knows a woman. Peter wants husbands to live out this aspect of the one-flesh relationship with intimate concern and care.
That a husband should treat his wife with understanding implies more than just a kind attitude; it goes deeper, implying that his consideration of his wife is based on his knowledge of her needs, desires, gifts, and abilities. A husband who acts on his knowledge of his wife will greatly enrich her life, as well as his own. This is the explicit message of Paul in Ephesians 5:25–27.
Husbands in the same way were to give honor to their wives.
The word translated “honor” is translated “precious” in 1 Peter 2:4, 6, 7 and means something of high value. A good husband comprehends the fact that his wife is worth much. “Her price is far above rubies” (Proverbs 31:10).
In the next verse he will give the reason for his concern: in regard to her physical frame she is “the weaker vessel.”
When Peter says that women may be “weaker” than men, he was not implying moral or intellectual inferiority, but was recognizing women’s physical limitations. Women in his day, if unprotected by men, were vulnerable to attack, abuse, and financial disaster. Women’s lives may be easier today, but women are still vulnerable to criminal attack and family abuse. And in spite of increased opportunities in the workplace, many women still earn less than men, and the vast majority of the nations’ poor are single mothers and their children. A man who honors his wife as a member of the weaker sex will protect, respect, help, and stay with her. He will not expect her to work full-time outside the home and full-time at home; he will lighten her load wherever he can. He will be sensitive to her needs, and he will relate to her with courtesy, consideration, insight, and tact.
Husbands know this: your wife deserves nothing less than your most elevated and intimate care, concern, love, and honor. Is it any wonder that Christian women today are so frightened in this area of life? Too many men are only fixated on their needs and desires. Too many are not living according to knowledge. Too many are bringing into the marriage bed a view of sex that is borrowed from the world, a view that is base and unlovely. Peter provides a well-placed corrective, “showing honor.”
The Husband’s Motivation
Peter reminded husbands that their wives are fellow heirs with them of the grace of life. They are equal partners and partakers of the glory that is to be revealed on the last day. As such, they should be treated with respect and dignity. After all, they are, like you, the very bride of Christ. They too have been bought with his blood. They also are the majestic ones in whom is his delight.
The husband and wife stand on the same level in terms of spiritual privilege. One is not more saved than the other when they receive Christ as Savior.
A second motivation for careful stewardship of your marriage is found at the end of verse 7: “so that your prayers may not be hindered.”
If a man is not considerate and respectful of his wife, his prayers will not be heard, because a living relationship with God depends on right relationships with others. Jesus said that if you have a problem with a fellow believer, you must make it right with that person before coming to worship (Matthew 5:23, 24). This principle carries over into family relationships. If men use their position to mistreat their wives, their prayers will be hindered.
Also, the word translated “your” is plural. This implies that married couples will be praying together. The act of praying together is one of the most difficult things for a husband to cultivate. For some reason most of us have trouble going before the throne of grace in the presence of our wife. Yet, if we consider how great and glorious this is—namely, the two standing together in his presence—we will begin afresh in this endeavor.
In the text of 1 Peter 3:1–7 we have seen one overriding principle, as we follow Christ, He changes our relationships. We have seen Peter’s twofold plan: women, do not let your adorning be external, but let your adorning be the adorning of the hidden person of the heart. We have seen the woman’s threefold reward: the possible salvation of her spouse, her preciousness in the sight of God, and her reward for entrusting herself to God. In addition, we have heard the call for husbands to know, love, care, understand, treat with honor and see their wives are partners or heirs in salvation leading to greater unity and God hearing and answering their prayers.
Our Heavenly Father, help every man and woman, husband and wife to live in a way that pleases you. In Jesus’ name we pray, Amen.
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Sources:
David R. Helm, 1 & 2 Peter and Jude: Sharing Christ’s Sufferings, Preaching the Word (Wheaton, IL: Crossway Books, 2008), 107–108.
Life Application Bible Notes (Tyndale, 2007), 2132.
Bruce Barton et al., Life Application New Testament Commentary (Wheaton, IL: Tyndale, 2001), 1115.
John G. Butler, Analytical Bible Expositor: 1 & 2 Peter (Clinton, IA: LBC Publications, 2010), 212.
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