I Resolve To Be More Positive – Events & Responses

Ridge My New Life ResHave you ever seen two people experience the same event, yet respond totally different?  I’ve learned that to be positive its not so much about what happens to me, but  how I respond.

Here are some biblical examples of the same event but different perspectives.

The Israelite s were in slavery in Egypt for years.  God used Moses to lead them out.  God miraculously provided food for them daily, called manna. Day after day, God provided for their needs, and yet, the Israelite s did what so many of us do, and they started complaining.  “God, we are sick and tired of this manna.  If only we could go back to Egypt where the fish were free.”  They were complaining, and being negative.  Same event, different perspective.  Moses says, “Did you forget that when you were in Egypt, you were slaves?   Shouldn’t you be overcome with thankfulness?”  You may not have fish, but you have your freedom!

I can be just like that, complaining about what I don’t have instead of being thankful for what I do have.   Do you ever do that?  I want be thankful for what I have.

There was a woman who was forgiven by Jesus, and she took a very expensive jar of perfume and broke the jar open and poured this valuable perfume or oil over Jesus in an act of worship, and the contents of this jar was valued at a year’s worth of wages.  Judas looked on and said, what I could have said, “That’s wasteful.  We could have used it in other ways.”  Judas says, “Why didn’t you sell that and give the money to the poor.   Jesus looked on, same event, different perspective, and said, “You’re missing the point entirely.  What this woman has done is one of the most beautiful things that I have ever seen.  What she has done will be told about her for generations to come.”   It was beautiful not wasteful!

Often I’m guilty of thinking, “what this person did was not good enough, they should have done is…”  I want to see beauty in people’s service and gifts.

Stressed or Calm?   Luke 10:38-42

Mary and Martha were hosting Jesus in their home, and Martha was doing what most of us do, stressing out.  And she comes in complaining to Jesus, “Look at Mary! she’s just sitting at your feet.  She’s just sitting there.  No good, lazy girl.  Tell her to help me out!”  Same event, different perspective.  Jesus looks on and says, “Martha, Martha.  You are worried and upset about many things.  Mary has chosen what is better and it will not be taken away from her.”   Martha was too stressed, Mary is calm and that’s better.

I easily get uptight about my to do list, making sure everything is just right and I miss the presence and peace of Jesus.   I want to stress less, calm down and experience Jesus.

Worshiping or Whining?  Acts 16:25-34

While Paul and Silas were spreading the good news about Jesus, and they were arrested, stripped, beaten publicly them, put them in prison and locked them up by their feet in shackles.  Instead of whining about their circumstances, and Paul and Silas, with their wounds still bleeding, start worshiping God and singing!   God showed up, brought a big earthquake, the doors flew open and the shackles fell off.  It was the first jailhouse rock! The jailer looked on and said, “Everyone’s gone, I might as well kill myself.”  Same event, different perspective.  Paul and Silas said, “We’re still here,” and the jailer said, “What can I do to meet Jesus? They led him to Christ and his whole family, and that event led to the beginning of the church in Philippi.

When things go wrong in my life, instead of whining that its not fair, I want to worship and draw people to God.

So, here’s my challenge to myself and to you.  Let’s do what we saw in scripture.  Look at the same things that we have been complaining about, but look at them from a different perspective.  Rather than focusing on a negative aspect.  Take a step back and look at them from a different perspective.  What do we have to be thankful for, how could we see the beauty in others, calm down, enjoy the presence of Jesus and find opportunities to worship?

I resolve to be more positive, how about you?

Darrell

www.RidgeFellowship.com

 

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I Resolve to Be More Positive – Heart Check

Ridge My New Life ResDo you ever get tired of negativity? I do.  Do think others may be tired of your negativity?  The Bible says  the tongue has the power of life and death.  Which are you speaking?  So many of us speak words of death: complaining, gossiping, lying, criticizing and being negative. We need to speak words of life, and when it comes to words of death, we should stop, but that’s easier said than done.

Are you more negative than you would like? I find it incredibly easy to slip into a mode of finding the negative things in life and complaining about them, rather than thinking of  good things and being thankful.

Like this one lady who was characterized as being very negative, she’d complain about absolutely everything. One day, she went to the grocery store, and was complaining because they only sell a whole head of lettuce. And she said, “I’m a single lady. I can’t eat all of the lettuce that goes bad. I demand that you sell me a half a head of lettuce!” And the worker there said, “We can’t,” and she threw a fit. So finally, the worker went back and was cutting the head of lettuce in half. One of his buddies said, “What in the world are you doing?” He said, “Oh, some grumpy old lady who’s just a pain, wants to buy a half a head of lettuce!” Then he looked up and saw that lady right by him, and he said, “And this fine lady would like to buy the other half of that head of lettuce.”

What I’ve found is that my words are only a symptom of the real issue that takes place in my heart. My Words Reveal The Condition Of My Heart.

Jesus said this…

For out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks. The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in him, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in him. But I tell you that men will have to give account on the day of judgment for every careless word they have spoken. For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned.” Matthew 12:34-37

I can see here that Jesus gets right to the heart of the matter.  My words are important, they come from within,  they are good or bad, they set free or condemn and I will give an account for them.

Here’s what I have learned:  from a negative heart overflows negative words which  become negative actions resulting in a miserable life.

This is one of the areas where God has done an overhaul on my heart. What I had to acknowledge is that my words were a symptom of a very deep and very real problem in my heart.  My heart was once full of resentment and bitterness and anger, and my words revealed the condition of my heart.  So do yours.

Here’s a formula to be negative and be miserable.  Complain about everything.  Complain about the weather, complain about the economy, complain about the prices of gas, complain about your physical features, how you used to be hot and now you’re not. Complain about the misplacement of your hair. It’s no longer on your head, now there’s more on your back or coming out of your ears. Complain about the way people drive …complain and complain and complain and you will be miserable.

Want to hate your job? Complain about the commute to work, complain about the people that you work with. Complain about your idiot boss that doesn’t know squat. Complain about the lousy benefit package. Complain about how you are undervalued. Complain about how you don’t like your work environment. In no time, you will hate your job.

If that’s not enough, let’s destroy your marriage, as well. Do you want to mess up a perfectly good marriage? Nit pick your spouse to death. Find anything, big things. Even more fun, find small things and nit pick them: the way they drive, the way they choose to get to a place, the way they chew their gum, the way they leave a little piece of food on their plate, the way their hair falls out and clogs up the shower drain, the way they leave their underwear laying around on the floor.  Complain about everything, and you will mess up a good marriage.   Think about it, when you were dating, you spoke words of life. “I love you!” Sweet,  Sugar pie,  Pumpkin, Muffin, … you’re so good looking’. You walk into the room and the smoke detector goes off, you’re so hot.”  Then years later, “You can’t do anything right!  I’m sick and tired of you. You’re making me miserable!”

If I’m negative about my life, my job and my spouse, does that make others want to be around me?   No!  Now, in case you think that I am over reacting with my own opinions, here’s a Proverb that explains this even better.

It is better to live alone in the desert than with a quarrelsome, complaining wife.  Proverbs 21:19

Now, ladies, I didn’t want to leave you out, this verse is true both ways, “it’s better to live alone than with a grumpy complaining husband.” You want to mess up your marriage? Speak words of criticism, complaining, negativity, and words of death.

I want to enjoy life, have people enjoy being around me and stay married!  In order to do that, I need to speak words of life, love and encouragement.

If I am constantly negative, I just ask myself, “What is in my heart?” Do I need to confess, anger, bitterness, negativity, ungratefulness and give it to God?  Are you ready to do that?

Darrell

PS. How do we live positive and see life differently?  In the next post we’ll look at how two people can be in the exact same circumstances yet see it TOTALLY different.  We will look at four different Bible stories, but we are going to see the exact same event from two different perspectives.  Which perspective will we take?

 

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The Best Place in Town!

Community2What places in your town do you get excited about?  Where I live (North Austin or Cedar Park to be exact)  people were fired up about the Costco that recently came.  There were lines to sign up and overflow crowds on the weekend.  Before that the Cinemark movie theater created a buzz in town.  I also remember excitement as Starbucks came into our area a few years back.  Often I see people “liking” Walmart on their Facebook pages and a steady stream of traffic at Sonic during their drink Happy Hour.  No doubt these are great places, but what about church?  Wait! Don’t stop reading,  I know for certain the church offers some things that the others do not which makes it special.

I don’t know about you, but I’m growing tired of posts, articles and blogs that write, all that is wrong with the church.   Things like, why people are leaving them, how they are losing the millennial’s, what the church is doing wrong and what the church is lacking.  Have you seen these types of posts and articles?  Enough about that.  What about what the church is doing RIGHT? What about what the church HAS.    I’m not about to give up on church or be down on the church and I hope you won’t either.

I’d like to share my feelings on why I believe the church is unlike any other business in town.   For me, my experience happened (so it seemed) by accident.  The first Sunday of the year, I came to The Ridge just to attend church.  Not as a pastor, just an attender. For me to go to church and not be doing anything is really different – I felt like fish out of water! I kept thinking, “Shouldn’t I be doing something?”  No, I’m just here to attend,” I reassured myself.   I got to hang out, take more time to listen, laugh and not worry about where I had to be or what I needed to be prepared to say.  It was nice.  Then, I observed something that Sunday that impacted me greatly.

Here’s the scene that unfolded before me.  In walks a couple as first time guests.  They were not like most in our attendance that day.  Some might call them a minority, even though we have people from all races and social standings, this couple was different than most.  However they were warmly greeted by our Hospitality Group.  It was discovered soon after that they needed someone to interpret for them.  Someone was found to interpret and did so in the hall ways and through the service in the auditorium.   Also it was discovered that they had some needs and were down on their luck since moving here recently.  A group of people, some from Hospitality and  some from the Prayer Group listened to them by way of the interpreter, then cared for them, prayed for them and hugged them.  Soon the members of those groups represented had collected some cash to give this couple, bless them and help them in their time of need. It was around $100.

I began to ponder the following:   Where else in town would total strangers be treated that way?     

Could you go to Costco, walk in without a membership card and be served?   I’m not a member and I’m told by others I wouldn’t be able to get in the door, much less shop.  Yet we warmly welcome people that are not “members” every week.

Walmart’s slogan, is “save money, live better.”  They do have good prices, but does Walmart give money?  Not that I’ve seen, not without some paperwork or a drawn out process.   Yet the church freely gave to those in need, even people they just met.

Would you be able to go the Movie theater, walk in, sit in one of their comfortable chairs and watch the show?  Not with paying the admission first!  Yet at our church, anyone can come in without paying any admission, sit down in our comfortable chairs and watch the show.

Starbucks has great coffee.  People love to go there but I don’t see every new guest getting a free cup of coffee at Starbucks.  Our church has free coffee, yes even Starbucks coffee for our guests.

Sonic is busy with activity like our church, but I have never seen employees at Sonic stop what they are doing to listen, care and pray for someone that is hurting, have you?

I may be missing something but I believe the church offers what no other business in town does.  We offer hope, acceptance, help and love with no strings attached.   And most importantly we offer “Christ in us the hope of glory.”

I hope you can be excited to attend, love and support your local church.  If you don’t have one, I’d like to invite you to mine.    I think, It’s the best place  in town!

Darrell

The Ridge Fellowship 

 

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10 Reasons We Need to Be Connected with Others

Ridge My New Life Res“You want to go where everyone knows your name!”

Recognize that line?  If you’re my age or older, those words ring a bell.  I grew up with this sitcom called Cheers, about this bar in Boston that began as a hang-out place but became like family. They loved to go, not only because of what they were able to eat or drink, but because of the people.  A place where they know your name.

Here’s the theme song to Cheers,

“Making your way in the world today takes everything you’ve got.

Taking a break from all of your worries sure would help a lot. Wouldn’t you like to get away?

Sometimes you want to go

Where everybody knows your name

and they’re always glad you came.

You want to be where you can see

our troubles are all the same.

You want to go where everybody knows your name!”

I think it’s unfortunate that’s about a bar and not the church! I really believe that God designed the church to be the place where you are known.   Some may think, “This church is too big, they can’t know my name.”  And that’s why the Bible says about the early church,

They worshiped together at the Temple (BIG) and met in homes (SMALL)  for the Lord’s Supper, and shared their meals with great joy and generosity.  Acts 2:46

Yes, we need the big (Sunday Worship) so we can do BIG things for Jesus, but we need the small (Growth Groups) so everybody can know your name. And that’s why every one of us that call The Ridge home,  should be in a group, a Growth Group.

I want to give you 10  reasons you need connection in Growth Group.

1. I Need to Be Known 

 It’s just like the Cheer’s song.  “A place where everybody KNOWS your name.”  Why? Because there’s a public side to me, but there’s another side to me, things I keep in until I am in a safe place to share or a safe place to be known.  We all will have “that” day It’s the day we get the bad news, it’s the day we get the test results, it’s the day, where we lose the loved one. All of us need someone on “that” day!  We don’t even need a church of fifty, we only need a few people who know and care.  We need the Growth Group, the place where everybody knows our name and says, “I know that hurts. I’m praying for you. I know you are hurting, I want to care for you.”  “Here’s some money for that bill.” “Let me watch your kids so you can take care of _______.”   When people know you they will care for you.  It’s about moving from the Sunday crowd where you have been more or less anonymous into a small group of people that know each other beyond just a name. They know you and when life throws you a curve.

2.  I Need People Who Will Help Me.  In our church audience, we all “know” that life is hard. But we may not know that you specifically lost a job, unless you are in a group, then we really “know!”   Groups make your needs known, your hurts know and then people can do something about them.  Sure, put it down on a Connection card, someone will email or call you.  But why not have someone give you a hug and pray for you in person?  That’s what happens in a group.

On a regular basis, we have Growth Groups provide meals, watch kids,  raise hundreds, even thousands of dollars for a bill, buy gifts, loan a car, help move or just celebrate life’s happy times like birthdays, showers and anniversaries.   Who wouldn’t want that?

Here’s another reason why I need a Growth Group

3. I Need a Place to Remove My Masks 

I’ve got a mask. I’ve got some things that you don’t know about me and you’re not going to know about me!   We can play games with large groups of people.  But in my family, in my group, I’m don’t need to wear a mask.  At some point it needs to come down.   Here’s why.  I’m vulnerable if no one knows about me.  If there’s something that only you know about you, you’re vulnerable.

We refuse to wear masks and play games… Rather, we keep everything we do and say out in the open… 2 Corinthians 4:2 MSG

It’s like that movie with James Franco, 127 Hours. Did you that?  He goes hiking but doesn’t tell anyone where he is.  No one has a clue.  He falls down into this hole and rock pins his hand where he can’t get out. He’s stuck there for 127 hours, drinking his urine, suffering alone, because no one knows where he is.  He finally has to cut his hand off with a pocket knife to get away.

4.  I Need People Who Will Protect Me

Do you realize that’s how unsafe our lives are if no one knows.  We get maimed. Bankruptcy, the addiction, the affair will take a limb from the person who keeps it a secret!

We have people that will listen, pray, help you with a financial plan, a counselor, software or something to help you overcome your problem.  But no one can if you keep it to yourself. By the way, the movie 127 Hours was based on a true story and now the real character tells everywhere where he’s going, everywhere.  We need to tell people (not all people but some people) where we are, who we are, and what we struggle with.

You’re vulnerable if no one knows..so, what do we need?

5.   I Need People who will Heal Me. They cannot help you if they don’t know what’s going on inside of you.

For some people, I’m going to keep everything I do and say out in the open. You need a few people who really know.  Things like your computer browsing, your spending habits, your thought life, your temptations.   It’s really the only way you’re going to get over habitual sin. If you confess to God, God will forgive you.  But James 5:16 says,

Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.  God will forgive you, but confession to a person or group of people, that’s when you are going to be protected and where you to see you find healing.

6.  I Need People who Can Help Me See my Blind Spots 

Just as when we are driving we have blind spots, as we live life we have things we cannot see about ourselves.  It’s like this:  “I didn’t know I acted that way, but you know I acted that way.”  I didn’t know I had spinach in my teeth, but you sure can see it!

We have that exposed place.  Here we are just smiling away and we’ve got that big nasty piece of spinach between our teeth.  And friends don’t let friends keep that in their teeth! It’s like,  “Here’s mirror/toothpick” or “You missed a belt loop!”  Recently my dad wore two different colored boots out, and no one told him.  He wondered why people were giggling until my brother pointed it out!

At a service at our church when we were still meeting at the school one of the worship leaders got up to start the praise and worship but his fly was down, another member jumped ran to front of the stage and said to the audience, “Hey everyone, why don’t you turn and say hello to someone next to you and greet.”  You think we do that because we want you to be nice! We are usually fixing things!  Problem taken care of.  They were a growth group at that moment!

And here’s the point: We’ve all got blind spots and everybody will see them unless we entrust a few people who love us to let us know what they are.

7. I Need Somebody Who’s Going to be Honest with Me.   I need somebody to know if I’m not treating my wife the way I should and tell me. I need someone who is going to tell me, “You know what? Your attitude really stinks.  You are being hurtful. Did you know that?

I just hope that you have someone that you’ve allowed to be honest with you because we all need it. Look what the Bible says about this in Proverbs 27:6;

Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.

So, the Bible says that the good guy, the friend says “Hey bro, we’ve got some things we need to work on here.”  It’s your enemy that’s kisses you saying, “Oh, you’re wonderful, you’re just the best!”  No, we need people who can really be honest with us and help us with our blind spots

8.  I  Need to Know My Hidden Potential

Only God knows our true potential.   If you think  “If my potential can only be realized by God, how does a Growth Group help?”

Here’s how: Because in God’s system, to pulling out your best, God’s system is you connecting with another member of the Body of Christ. That’s why he calls us the Body of Christ.

We are not supposed to be body parts, we are supposed to be, hand knowing where the wrist is, the wrist knowing where the arm is, arm knowing where the shoulder is.  But, it’s connection, it’s not just parts, it’s connected parts. And that’s why the Bible says:

Each part does its work and helps the other parts grow, so Christ’s whole body is healthy and growing and full of love.     Did you catch that?   HELPS the other parts grow.  I need help growing and you do too!

I’ve shared before that I’m not a very affectionate person a “huggy” type of person, but Laurie Kibel and Brian Shanklin have helped me grow in that area of affection!   Bonnie Bennetsen and Laura Campbell have helped me be more prepared and plan ahead, and the list could go on.

9. I Need People who will Grow Me.     What area do you need to grow in?  In love? In parenting? In being a better spouse?  In caring for people?  You won’t do it alone!   You’ve got potential!  But you need to get in a group to draw it out!

That happens when we connect to the Body of Christ.

Simply put, your life can be changed powerfully just by attending this church. Jesus can touch you but you need more than that. We recognize here at The Ridge, that we need to be a large church making a difference around the world; we know that. We need to be making a difference in people’s lives, and it takes something big  to pull that off, but the big church needs to become small because we need more than that.  You need a place where you’re known, they’re glad you came, they can help you, protect you, be honest with you and grow you.

Let’s look at this final reason. , I think it’s challenging but worth achieving:

10 .  I Need People Who Will Stand With Me No Matter What

There are “friends” who destroy each other,  

    but a real friend sticks closer than a brother.   Proverbs 18:24 

Have you ever had those so called “friends” who destroy you?  Someone who say’s they are your friend but stabs you in back?  Someone that claimed to be close and connected to you but then turned on you.  I have and the betrayal is not fun.    The type of relationship I’m talking will not be built overnight.  Or for that matter in one or two semesters in a Growth Group.  But over time, I have seen relationships build from a Group where the connection is as close as any family.   If you need something, they will be there, period. If you make a mistake, they are with you no matter what.   Families can be close, brothers can be close.  Who will stick closer? A “real” friend:  forged by faith in Christ and love for Christ and each other, it takes being together, serving together, giving together and most importantly time.   Some would call this an intimate or trusted friend.  It won’t be everybody, but it can be a few people.

I want to challenge you with everything in me to consider getting in a Growth Group.  Just to take the plunge of getting in some meaningful relationships.

How do you sign up?   You can sign up today online.  Its what we call a one step sign up.

Go here for Leander,  here Jarrell,  and here for Taylor

You click your group, fill out the short form, click and BOOM!  You’re signed up! Its that easy and then…. Be prepared to grow spiritually. Be ready to build relationships and be known, be cared for and make a difference!

Darrell

http://ridgefellowship.com/

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