Are you rich? Find out today – Week 4 Tithe Challenge

Those of you taking the Tithe Challenge, I am so proud of you!  You are stepping out in faith and it’s awesome.  My prayers are with you right now.

You may be under attack as you have committed to give to God’s kingdom.   It’s OK, that’s a sign you are doing the right thing.  Hang in there!

Do you have a story to share about tithing?  I do!   Not long ago Niki had surgery for a deviated septum. Her nose was constantly clogged and she needed allergy pills, cough syrup or nose spray, however  the insurance said they would not cover this surgery.  We were looking at thousands of dollars of expense!  After couple of months, Niki said, “Now the insurance will cover the surgery!”  This saved us $13,000.  God takes care of us like this all the time.  We don’t believe it’s a coincidence. We tithe and God blesses.

You may see something good happen like the insurance paying a bill, a check in the mail, or getting the job or raise you’ve been wanting.  You may not.  But, you will feel satisfied and closer to God as you walk in faith.  You will know that God is God at some point during this three months, but don’t quit.

Today I am going to share something from “Giving What We Can.”

Every now and then you may see a list containing the richest people in the world.  You may even wonder what it would be like to have that sort of cash. But where would you sit on one of those lists? Here’s your chance to find out. Go to How Rich Am I?  Type in your income and where you compare in the world to the other people.  Its eye opening!

Spoiler alert: if you make $48,000 annually, you are in the top 1% of the wealthiest people in the world!

Did you know three billion people live on less than $2 per day while 1.3 billion get by on less than $1 per day? 

I used to think that rich meant someone who had a lot more than I have.  Now I know that rich is a matter of perspective.  I am rich, you are rich. You are richer than 99% of people in the world.  Listen to God’s perspective “For everyone to whom much is given, from him/her much will be requiredLuke 12:48

This verse is haunting to me.  I have to tell myself, “God has given me so much.  But why? To keep, to hoard, to spend only on myself?  No, to manage well and give some for God’s purposes.”

Be rich, but be obedient too.  Tithing is giving what God requires.  Way to go!

Darrell

PS.  If you haven’t tried this, you can Tithe online at

https://upwards.church/give-online

www.Upwards.Church

Watch Messages: YouTube-Upwards Church

Facebook: Upwards Church

 

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Overcoming Anger

businesscard-3.5inx2in-h-frontBeen angry lately?  There’s nothing wrong with the emotion of anger.  God gets angry (Numbers 32:13) and Jesus got angry (Mark 11:15), these types of anger are called “righteous anger.”  If you get mad at injustice or abuse that’s ok.  It’s the anger that causes us to hurt others with our words or actions that is not ok.   Stuffing our anger and blowing up later at a non related event is not good anger.   Perhaps the better title to this post would be “overcoming sinful anger.” Here are four steps:

1. Identify what triggers my anger.   A trigger on the gun is just a small piece of metal but when we pull that trigger, it causes an explosion that propels a bullet forward in what could be a deadly or lethal trajectory.  The trigger is feeling, or hurt, or the circumstance when it’s present, it causes an explosion of anger in our life that leads us to say or do something that is damaging or hurtful.  One of the keys to overcoming an angry outburst is to know what typically triggers your anger.  I found that if Niki, my children or anyone else says something or acts in a way that I feel disrespected, that’s a trigger for me.  Most men I talk to agree that respect is a big deal to them.   Often when I get angry, raise my voice or verbally cut into someone it takes a while to figure out, “what was that? What caused that?   Do you know your triggers?  Think for a moment what sets you off?  Sarcasm? A judgmental look? People that run late?  I’m sorry- I run late!

It funny because I’m impatient if I have to wait in traffic, in a line, or if there is a project that’s running behind, I get frustrated by the lack of movement and I begin to get angry, What is it for you?

It’s not an excuse if you’re exploding in anger because of your trigger. Someone didn’t pull your trigger, you pulled it yourself.

People with good sense restrain their anger” Proverbs 19:11.  The author (Solomon) says that anger can be restrained and that we have good sense when we do.

What happens when I feel my temper rising?  What happens when I feel that my trigger has been pulled and I’m about to lose my temper?  I can do one of three things:

A.  I can blow up and take it out on somebody

B.  I can shut up and cram it all down, or

C.  I can look up and ask God to help me.

Obviously choice C would be better. That’s what number 2 is about…

2. Pause and pray when my temper is rising. When you feel your temper surging, pause and pray until you have control of your anger.  It may mean you leaving the room; it may mean that you need to remove yourself from that situation at least temporarily so that you can regain your composure before you say anything.  Pausing doesn’t mean you are walking away or giving up. There are times when I need to think or cool down, but Niki wants to follow me and work it out.  If I give her a time table for this pause it is better than just leaving.  Some call this an “exit strategy.”  We exit before someone gets hurt.

Pausing keeps you from saying something foolish or hurtful when you’re at the height of emotion.  Look at what Proverbs 15:1 says.  “A gentle answer turns away wrath but harsh words stir up anger”.  Pausing in the heat of the moment doesn’t remove the anger, it only keeps you from saying or doing something foolish.   That’s why you have to pause and then pray.  In the heat of the moment, just say a simple one-sentence prayer.  Something simple like “God, I’m getting angry right now, help me to control my anger”, “God, help me to remain calm”, “God, help me not to say something foolish”.  How many times do we say something really foolish, really hurtful in the heat of the moment because we don’t think?  In these situations, pause, don’t say anything right away, and then pray and ask God to be with you in that situation.  There’s a simple spiritual discipline that helps prevent destructive anger and it’s called the Discipline of Silence.  Our anger is usually expressed in words, in vengeful, bitter, sharp words that hurt other people.  A related expression mom used, “If you can’t say anything nice, then don’t say anything at all!”  If anger is a problem then the more we can learn to remain silent when we’re angry and say nothing, the less likely we are to say or do things that we might regret.  Taking a short time every day to practice not talking, just to be quiet and listen to God.  It means not listening to the radio, not listening to the TV, not talking out loud to God but just sitting in silence and listening to God,

Proverbs 4:29 says this, “Those who control their anger have great understanding”, they don’t fly off the handle, “those with a hasty temper will make mistakes”.  Identify your triggers, pause and pray when your temper is rising, then #3, not popular and very difficult to do but very important.

3.  Leave the vengeance to God and respond with love.  If we are hurt or treated badly, it’s really hard to let our anger go.  It’s really hard to forgive.  It’s really hard to trust God with that situation.  It’s easier for me to take matters into my own hands.  But the Bible tells us, don’t just leave the vengeance or repayment to God, instead respond with love or kindness.  Look at what Paul writes in Romans 12:18-20.  It’s a fascinating passage, “If it is possible as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.  Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God’s wrath for it is written, “it is mine to avenge, I will repay says the Lord.”  On the contrary, if your enemy is hungry feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.  In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head”.

I experienced this verse recently.  Someone had hurt one of my children in a way that law enforcement and lawyers were involved.  I was very angry!  Fortunately I had time to do number 2, pause and pray a lot. God spoke to me, calmed me down and told me to tell this person, “I forgive you, I do not wish you harm, I hope you are blessed and have a future.”  When I did, this individual did something I did not expect.  He cried.

Like I found, out this passage tells us that it is God’s job to deal with injustice and evil in the world.  It’s not my job.  My revenge pushes God out.  And if we repay bitterness with more bitterness, all we do is we create a bad cycle of violence.    Kindness is much more likely to be successful than punching them in the face or cursing them out.  That’s what the Bible teaches.  And on top of that, when we show kindness the cycle of violence is broken.  Rather than an escalation of aggression by me doing something and you doing something back, they do something to me and I end it right there with kindness.  That cycle is broken.  I’m no longer hurting them and they are no longer hurting me.  When Jesus was insulted and beaten at the end of his life, he didn’t retaliate.  He didn’t threaten, he didn’t curse, he didn’t seek revenge.  He simply trusted God and he left the vengeance to God.  When we respond to mistreatment with love instead of vengeance, we’re not being weak.  We’re not accepting the situation as okay.  What we’re doing is expressing our trust in God that He is going to take care of evil.  He is going to take care of sorting out injustice from justice.  That leads us to the last step.

4.  Repair the damage already caused by my anger.  I have said things to Niki and my children that were hurtful to them.  The best thing I can do for them, for me and fpr our relationship is to apologize and acknowledge my part in their hurt.  Damaged relationships also affect me spiritually. Jesus says in Matthew 5:23 “if you’re standing before the altar in the temple offering a sacrifice to God and suddenly you remember that someone has something against you, leave your sacrifice there beside the altar, go and be reconciled to that person, then come back and offer your sacrifice to God”.  What Jesus is saying is if your anger caused you to hurt somebody, don’t pretend like you’re going to come up and cozy up to God.  Make it right, apologize.  If you feel far from God, you’ve tried going to church, getting in a growth group, trying to pray, and feel, “I don’t understand why God feels like He is so far away.”  It may be because you’ve hurt somebody and you’ve tried to put it out of your mind but God is saying you need to go and make it right to that person.  That’s the spiritual reason to repair the damage.  The other part of this passage is practical. (vs 25-26) Look at how Jesus continues; “Then, come to terms quickly with your enemy before it is too late and you are dragged into court, handed over to an officer, and thrown into jail.  I assure you that you won’t be free again until you have paid the last penny”.  You see, if you’ve hurt someone with your anger, they may be sitting there resenting you.  They may be thinking, “How can I get back at this person?”  Jesus is being really practical, he says if you’ve hurt somebody and something is not right with them, go and make it right before it’s too late! Not only will it repair your relationship with God, but it will repair your relationship with that person as well.

Whenever it is possible,” remember that phrase? I realize that it is not always possible, but when it is Jesus says to do your best to repair the damage that anger causes.  Sometimes the other person, they won’t be willing to reconcile or willing to forgive you.  You know what?  That’s okay.  You do everything that you can do.  God is going to forgive your part, and even if they don’t forgive you, you did your part.

If you have anger problems: getting angry too often, making the people around you miserable, affecting your ability to enjoy life, affecting the people you care about the most or your affecting your job, there is hope.   God can help you overcome the damaging sin of anger out of your life.  If you will give it to Him, He can replace it with His peace and His presence, but you have to be willing to give it to Him. Thomas Merton wrote “We’re not at peace with others because we are not at peace with ourselves, and we are not at peace with ourselves because we are not at peace with God”.

If you’ve never made peace with God before, you can because of Jesus..

Pray this, “God right now my life is filled with anger; I acknowledge that and desire to be filled with you. Thank you Jesus for loving me and dying for me, I receive you and want to live the life you would have me live.  Help me overcome my anger.  In Jesus’ name, Amen”

Darrell

www.RidgeFellowship.com

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Overcoming Fear

businesscard-3.5inx2in-h-frontWhat fears do you have?  I’m not a fan of heights, spiders or speaking in public.

During a severe thunderstorm a mother was tucking her small son into bed. She was about to turn the light off when he asked in a trembling voice, “Mommy, will you stay with me tonight?” His mother gave him a warm, reassuring hug and said tenderly, “I can’t dear. I have to sleep with Daddy.” A silence followed, and then the little boy said, “The big sissy!”

 We all struggle with fear.  There are over 530 classified phobias. www.phobialist.com

Many of them are well known but some you probably have never heard of.  For instance:   You may know about claustrophobia – the fear of being in a small place.  But there is the fear of being in a small place with a dictator called Castrophobia.  You may know about zoophobia, which is the fear of animals.  But did you know there is a Barneyphobia – fear of purple animals? You may know about agoraphobia – fear of the open places.  Not to be confused with Aggie-phobia fear of people who wear maroon!

There are specific phobias (fears), which are not shared by all. 

It’s interesting to me that we have different fears.  Different things frighten us all.  Some of you have fought in combat but you’re not about to visit a dentist.  Others of you climb mountains and cliffs but if somebody were to ask you to speak in front of 15 people you’d freeze in fear.  Some of you men make tremendous business decisions every day but when things go creak in the night, you send you wife!

There are universal or deep level phobias we ALL experience.

A son asked his father, “Daddy, are you afraid of spiders?”  No.  “Are you afraid of thunder? of ghosts? of robbers” No.  “Then I guess Mommy is the only thing you’re afraid of.”

Deep level fears are:  Why do we die?  What happens after death?  Why are we here?  Why is there evil? 

All religions attempt to give answers to basic questions: From where did the world come? What is the meaning of human life? Why do people die and what happens afterward? Why is there evil? How should people behave?

Philosophers teach that this deep level fear has lead to the development of religion. German theologian Paul Tillich defines religion as “ultimate concern.” 

These deep level fears are the source that all your other fears come out of.  It’s the well.  No matter how much you try to get rid of all these other fears, until you deal with the source or root it’s not going to work.  Until you get healing at this deepest level of your life, you’re going to still have problems with all the surface fears.

Although fear is universal among us, God says hundreds of times “Fear not or Do not be afraid”   The Greek word for fear is “phobeo” which is where we get the word phobia.

 HOW TO OVERCOME FEAR

 Have you ever done a high element ropes course?  I did one a couple of years ago that was thirty feet off the ground.  I felt like, “I am going to fall and die!”  But I had to tell my mind, “I may fall, but I won’t die.  I am secured by these ropes (a safety system).”  Besides I just watched my friends doing it and they didn’t’ die!   That’s the truth, my mind says, “You’re dying!” the truth is, “no I am not, hang in there.  Don’t chicken out in front of your friends! Stay up here and do this!”  The same can happen for our deep fears and specific fears.  We need to seek the truth and remind ourselves often.

  1.  Seek the Truth

      “You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”  John 8:32

 I was reading about Phobia treatments recently.  Simple or specific phobias have been effectively treated with behavior therapy.[1] Behavior therapy sets up phobic treatment involving exposure to the phobic stimulus in a safe and controlled setting called exposure treatment. The patient is exposed to the phobic stimulus as part of the therapeutic process. One simple form of exposure treatment is that of flooding, where the person is immersed in the fear reflex until the fear itself fades away.[2]

Like the high ropes course mentioned earlier, the fear of falling or heights that I have a specific fear of is reduced over time by the truth that harness catches me.   Remember how I fear public speaking?  When I was younger I would panic when called upon in class.  But now as I prepare, practice and speak in public on a regular basis (flooding) then the fear has less affect on me.

  •  Deep level fears can be dealt with through myth or truth.
    • Myth- “a story that appeals to the consciousness of people by giving expression to deep commonly felt emotions.” Webster
    • The ancient Greeks, Romans, and other civilizations explained the world through fascinating mythologies.
    • Under the influences of Judaism and Christianity, mythology was replaced by religions based on historical events and evidence.” 
      Compton’s Interactive Encyclopedia © 1999

 (Jesus) “I am the way the truth and the life.”  John 14:6

Jesus Christ claimed to be God and then proved it by rising from death. How do we know George Washington existed?  Evidence: what he did, what he left behind and what was written about him.  There is vast evidence of Jesus Christ and his resurrection.   Like me, millions of other Christ followers have overcome the deep fear of death, hell or judgement by placing our faith in the evidence of Jesus Christ and his resurrection. The second way to overcome fear is to…

 2.   Replace My Fear with God.

“There is no fear in (God’s) love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. We love because he first loved us. 1 John 4:18-19

I love it when I hear, “I need God in my life.”  Maybe you feel that way.  Maybe you feel like things aren’t fitting together right.  Maybe you have questions like:  What am I here for?  What happens when I die?  Is there anything after death?

God is putting a hunger for Himself deep in your life.  He’s saying “I know you and I want you to know Me.  I made you.  I love you.  I’ve watched everything you’ve done from the moment you were born.”  He’s putting in you a dissatisfaction that says, “There’s got to be more to life than this!”  There is.

There’s a God-shaped vacuum in each of us.  Nothing else can fill it.  If you don’t fill it with God, it will fill with fear.  Nothing else can substitute for God. It doesn’t matter how much human affirmation you get, it doesn’t matter how many awards you put on your shelf, how many achievements you get, how many possessions you tend to stockpile, nothing can substitute for God in your life.  When we realize God is reaching out to us, and decide to trust Him in faith, (realizing that we can’t earn his love).  When we embrace God’s love which is unconditional and complete in Christ’s death and resurrection, it changes us and overcomes our deep level fears.

To overcome specific fears the “flooding technique” mentioned above works for some.  But some patients cannot handle flooding in any form, so an alternative technique is used called counter-conditioning [3]  In this form, one is trained to substitute or replace a relaxation response for the fear response in the presence of the phobic stimulus.  Relaxation is incompatible with feeling fearful or having anxiety, so it is said that the relaxation response counters the fear response.

Do you know what one of the greatest relaxation responses is?  PRAYER!  Prayer has been shown to lower blood pressure, slow brain waves, lower blood pressure and heart rate.  When we pray we are using what Psychologists, Psychiatrists and counselors call counter-conditioning we use prayer (a relaxation response) in response to the phobic stimulus.  That’s what prayer does.  It works in our bodies, minds and emotions by trusting God to take care of things, which in turn relaxes us instead of stressing out trying to handle it all.   The next way to overcome fear is to…

  3.  Follow Christ and Find Support with other Believers

  •  Faith in Christ helps me face my deepest fears.

“By his death he frees those who all their lives were held in slavery by their fear of death.”  Hebrews 2:14-16

  •  Christ overcame death.  He says we will too.

“I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies; and whoever lives and believes in me will never die.”  John 11:25-26

  •  Christ tells us what is beyond death

Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me.  In my Father’s house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you.  And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am.”  John 14:1-4

I need to have a relationship to God, not because I’m going to die today, because I’m going to live tomorrow.

 When we follow Christ we are his disciples. We should then join a family of other disciples and follow Christ together.  We learn from Jesus, he is our example and we learn from one another.  This is the same as another highly successful phobic treatment that therapist use called “modeling.”

Modeling is an application suggested by social learning theorists. In modeling, the patient observes others (the “models”) in the presence of the phobic stimulus who are responding with relaxation rather than fear. In this way, the patient is encouraged to imitate the model(s) and thereby relieve their phobia. Combining live modeling with personal imitation is sometimes called participant modeling.[4]

So this is another great reason to get into a Growth Group!  We observe others in the presence of fearful situations in life and how they respond. We confess, we learn from one another.  We strengthen one another.  We overcome the fears of life together!

Each week at church and or group we do this very thing:  we stop our hectic schedules for a moment to worship, to counter-condition, (to pray) and replace our fears and anxiety. We interact with other believers who are trying to living their faith while being honest and vulnerable about their struggles (modeling) and we are encouraged to do the same.

In my reading about Phobia Treatments I am glad that Psychologists and therapists can help people overcome their phobias.  I am convinced the same resources they use to help people overcome their fears we can use and have been as the church for years already.

To Overcome Fear in review with reference to Phobia treatment:

  1. Seek the truth – “Exposure treatment”
  2. Replace Fear – “Counter Conditioning” (counter fear with “relaxation response” prayer)
  3. Follow Christ – “Modeling”

I’m going to say a prayer and I’m going to encourage you to follow me in it.  “Dear God, I realize you’ve never stopped loving me, I accept this truth. Today I want to follow you Jesus Christ, I believe you and I want to be in groups with other believers.   I commit my fears and my life to you.  Amen.”

Darrell

To join a group with other believers go to www.RidgeFellowship.com

Bible verses are from The New International Version

[1] Marks, I. M. (1987). Fears, phobias, and rituals: Panic, anxiety, and their disorders. New York: Oxford University Press.

[2] Foa, E. B, & Kozak, M.J. (1986). Emotional processing of fear; Exposure to corrective information. Psychological Bulletin, 99, 20-35.

[3] Watson, J. B. (1924). Behaviorism. Chicago: University of Chicago Press.

[4] Bernstein, D. A., Clarke-Stewart, A., Roy, E. J., & Wickens, C. D. (1997). Psychology, 4th ed. New York: Houghton Mifflin.

 

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Protector – Week 3 – Tithe Challenge

I have prayed for you this week.  I’m excited about all the God will do in your life. Last week we looked at God’s promise to “open the floodgates of heaven” (Malachi 3:10)  and  like the Genesis flood, to “pour out an abundance of blessings.”   We have seen that God asks us to “test him” in this area of giving our 10%.   This week we will look at his promise to “prevent pests from devouring” our income.

Let’s look at Malachi 3, verse 11.   This verse begins literally, “And I will prevent pests from devouring your crops.” (NIV)  It contains another promise that is connected to His promise to “throw open the floodgates of heaven.” Not only would God would “pour out” abundant blessings (v. 10); he also promises to “prevent pests from devouring”  your income. 

Have you ever thought about all the ways your income can be devoured?  Most of us do not grow crops but this promise is still for us today.  There are many things that will devour our paycheck, savings, material things and investments.   There are many ways to make money.  I believe there are even more ways to lose money or possessions!  From emergencies, fire, thieves, accidents or wear and tear.  The list goes on and on!

God’s promise is not only to be our provider but our protector.  I am reminded that the same almighty God who can create from nothing, who speaks things into existence does not need my measly 10% when he owns everything in the universe.  He can say a word to bring blessing or destruction.  I  need God’s blessing, you do too.  I need God’s protection and you do too.  By faith we tithe. By faith we trust God to provide and to protect. Why? Because he said He would.

Let me pray for us, “God thank you for your promises to provide and to protect us.  We acknowledge that you are the one who can protect us from all that would devour us, our families and our incomes.  We give as a way to acknowledge that you are God.”  In Jesus name, Amen

Until next week, Darrell

PS.  If you haven’t tried this, you can Tithe online at

https://upwards.church/give-online

 

www.Upwards.Church

Watch Messages: YouTube-Upwards Church

Facebook: Upwards Church

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