3 Practical Things You can do for Less Stress

Posted on November 1, 2013 by dkoop

Less StressGot stress?   We all do! Today’s post will look at three strategies that will help us overcome stress.

#1: Avoid unnecessary stress

Not all stress can be avoided, and it’s not healthy to avoid a situation that needs to be addressed. You may be surprised, however, by the number of stressors in your life that you can eliminate.

  • Learn how to say “no” – Know your limits and stick to them. Whether in your personal or professional life, refuse to accept added responsibilities when you’re close to reaching them. Taking on more than you can handle is a surefire recipe for stress.  In my early days as a pastor I almost burned out because I wanted to please everyone.  Now I know, that “no” is not a bad word.
  • Avoid people who stress you out – If someone consistently causes stress in your life and you can’t turn the relationship around, limit the amount of time you spend with that person or end the relationship entirely.  (This may sound un-Christian, but Jesus did not hang around the Pharisees who constantly criticized him, or do everything that was demanded of him.  For more detail on this subject go here.)
  • Take control of your environment – If the evening news makes you anxious, turn the TV off. If traffic’s got you tense, take a longer but less-traveled route. If going to the market is an unpleasant chore, do your grocery shopping online.
  • Avoid hot-button topics – If you get upset over religion or politics, cross them off your conversation list. If you repeatedly argue about the same subject with the same people, stop bringing it up or excuse yourself when it’s the topic of discussion.
  • Cut down your to-do list – Analyze your schedule, responsibilities, and daily tasks. If you’ve got too much on your plate, distinguish between the “shoulds” and the “musts.” Drop tasks that aren’t truly necessary to the bottom of the list or eliminate them entirely.

#2: Alter the situation

If you can’t avoid a stressful situation, try to alter it. Figure out what you can do to change things so the problem doesn’t present itself in the future. Often, this involves changing the way you communicate and operate in your daily life.

  • Express your feelings instead of bottling them up. If something or someone is bothering you, communicate your concerns in an open and respectful way. If you don’t voice your feelings, resentment will build and the situation will likely remain the same.
  • Be willing to compromise. When you ask someone to change their behavior, be willing to do the same. If you both are willing to bend at least a little, you’ll have a good chance of finding a happy middle ground.
  • Be more assertive. Don’t take a backseat in your own life. Deal with problems head on, doing your best to anticipate and prevent them. If you’ve got an exam to study for and your chatty roommate just got home, say up front that you only have five minutes to talk.  I always hope problems will go away on their own, they seldom do, they have to be dealt with.  I’ve also learned the hard way, the sooner the better.
  • Manage your time better. Poor time management can cause a lot of stress. When you’re stretched too thin and running behind, it’s hard to stay calm and focused. But if you plan ahead and make sure you don’t overextend yourself, you can alter the amount of stress you’re under.  Personally I struggle big time here.

 #3: Adapt to the stressor

If you can’t change the stressor, change yourself. You can adapt to stressful situations and regain your sense of control by changing your expectations and attitude.

  • Reframe problems. Try to view stressful situations from a more positive perspective. Rather than fuming about a traffic jam, look at it as an opportunity to pause and regroup, listen to your favorite radio station, or enjoy some alone time.  Take time to pray.
  • Look at the big picture. Take perspective of the stressful situation. Ask yourself how important it will be in the long run. Will it matter in a month? A year? Is it really worth getting upset over? If the answer is no, focus your time and energy elsewhere.  Sometimes it helps me to say, “God’s got this.”
  • Adjust your standards. Perfectionism is a major source of avoidable stress. Stop setting yourself up for failure by demanding perfection. Set reasonable standards for yourself and others, and learn to be okay with “good enough.”   I struggle with perfection, but am learning to cope with a new definition of excellence”  “Do the best I can, with what I have where I am.”
  • Focus on the positive. When stress is getting you down, take a moment to reflect on all the things you appreciate in your life, including your own positive qualities and gifts. This simple strategy can help you keep things in perspective.

Adjusting Your Attitude

How you think can have a profound effect on your emotional and physical well-being. Each time you think a negative thought about yourself, your body reacts as if it were in the throes of a tension-filled situation. If you see good things about yourself, you are more likely to feel good; the reverse is also true. Eliminate words such as “always,” “never” and “can’t.”

I love the verse, “I CAN do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me” Philippians 4:13.  Next time we’ll look at 3 more strategies or practical things we can do to have Less Stress.    I hope you can join us Sunday!

Darrell

www.RidgeFellowship.com

Sources:

http://www.helpguide.org  (A trusted non-profit resource)

http://www.helpguide.org/mental/stress_management_relief_coping.htm

http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles

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Coping with Stress

Posted on October 29, 2013 by dkoop

Less StressIs stress a part of your life?  You’re not alone!  We will address it on Sundays over the next five weeks plus you will find more stuff here.  Today, we are looking at how to manage stress.

It may seem that there’s nothing you can do about stress. The bills won’t stop coming, there will never be more hours in the day, and your career and family responsibilities will always be demanding. But you have more control than you might think.  Managing stress is all about taking charge, with God’s help: of your thoughts, emotions, schedule and the way you deal with problems.

To identify your true sources of stress, look closely at your habits, attitude, and excuses:

  • Do you explain away stress as temporary (“I just have a million things going on right now”) even though you can’t remember the last time you took a breather?
  • Do you define stress as an integral part of your work or home life (“Things are always crazy around here”)
  • Do you define stress as a part of your personality (“I have a lot of nervous energy, that’s all”).
  • Do you blame your stress on other people or outside events, or view it as entirely normal and unexceptional?

Until you accept responsibility for the role you play in creating or maintaining it, your stress level will remain outside your control.

Look at how you currently cope with stress

Think about the ways you currently manage and cope with stress in your life. Unfortunately, many people cope with stress in ways that compound the problem.

 Unhealthy ways of coping with stress

These coping strategies may temporarily reduce stress, but they cause more damage in the long run:

Start a Stress or Prayer Journal 
A stress/prayer journal can help you identify the regular stressors in your life and the way you deal with them. Each time you feel stressed; write it in your journal.  Ask God to help you in each one.  This will help you identify each stress and more importantly, give it to God, ask for His help, and not feel alone in your struggles. As you keep a daily log, you will begin to see patterns and common themes. Write down:

  • What caused your stress (make a guess if you’re unsure)
  • How you felt, both physically and emotionally
  • How you acted in response.  Ask God to help you respond better.
  • What you did to ease the stress.  Ask God or someone to help.

Learning healthier ways to manage stress

If your methods of coping with stress aren’t contributing to your greater emotional and physical health, it’s time to find healthier ones. There are many healthy ways to manage and cope with stress, but they all require change. You can either change the situation or change your reaction. When deciding which option to choose, it’s helpful to think of the four As: avoid, alter, adapt, or accept.

Since everyone has a unique response to stress, there is no “one size fits all” solution to managing it. No single method works for everyone or in every situation, so experiment with different techniques and strategies.

Dealing with Stressful Situations: The Four A’s

Change the situation:
  • Avoid the stressor
  • Alter the stressor
Change your reaction:
  • Adapt to the stressor
  • Accept the stressor

The Four A’s are general, but in our next post we will look at specific strategies managing stress.  Each strategy will go into more detail about how we can change either our situations our reactions or both.

Stress is normal; but how we manage it is what helps us get better or get worse.  God’s power and presence can through prayer and through the support of people can help immensely.   Don’t face stress alone, God cares and we do too.  Connect at The Ridge this Sunday.

Darrell

www.RidgeFellowship.com

Sources:

http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles

http://www.helpguide.org  (A trusted non-profit resource)

http://www.helpguide.org/mental/stress_management_relief_coping.htm

 

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Stress, its causes and effects

Posted on October 28, 2013 by dkoop

Less StressAre you stressed out?  We’re beginning a new series on Stress this Sunday November!   Stress was our 3rd most asked for series topic from our annual Message Survey after forgiveness and anger.  Be watching for the print version of our Message Survey to be in programs soon.  Or to take a short, anonymous online survey, just click here.

Since stress is such a huge topic, we will tackle it on Sundays over the next five weeks plus I will keep lots of information on this blog.  We’ll start now with what is stress, what causes it and how does it affect us.

We generally use the word “stress” when we feel that everything seems to have become too much – we are overloaded and wonder whether we really can cope with the pressures placed upon us.

Anything that poses a challenge or a threat to our well-being is a stress. Some stresses get you going and they are good for you – without any stress at all many say our lives would be boring and would probably feel pointless. However, when the stresses undermine both our mental and physical health they are bad. We will be focusing on stress that is bad for you.

What are the causes of stress?

We all react differently to stressful situations. What one person finds stressful another may not at all. Almost anything can cause stress and it has different triggers. For some people just thinking about something can cause stress.

The most common causes of stress are:

  • Bereavement (loss of anything)
  • Family problems (conflict, misunderstanding, divorce, etc)
  • Financial matters
  • Illness
  • Job issues
  • Lack of time

 The following are also causes of stress

  • Abortion
  • Becoming a mother or a father
  • Conflicts in the workplace
  • Driving in bad traffic
  • Fear of crime or loss
  • Losing your job
  • Miscarriage
  • Noisy neighbors
  • Overcrowding
  • Pollution
  • Pregnancy
  • Retirement
  • Too much noise
  • Uncertainty (awaiting laboratory test results, academic exam results, job interview results, etc)

It is possible that a person feels stressed and no clear cause is identified. A feeling of frustration, anxiety and depression can make some people feel stressed more easily than others.

 How we respond to stress affects our health

1. We do not all interpret each situation in the same way.
2. Because of this, we do not all call on the same resources for each situation
3. We do not all have the same resources and skills.

Some situations which are not negative may still be stressful.  It’s because we think we are not completely prepared to cope with them effectively. Examples being: having a baby, moving to a nicer house, and being promoted.  All are wonderful things but are still sources of stress.

It is important to learn that what matters more than the event itself is usually our thoughts about the event when we are trying to manage stress.

*How you see that stressful event will be the largest single factor that impacts on your physical and mental health. Your interpretation of events and challenges in life may decide whether they are invigorating or harmful for you.

A persistently negative response to challenges will eventually have a negative effect on your health and happiness. Experts say people who tend to perceive things negatively need to understand themselves and their reactions to stress-provoking situations better. Then they can learn to manage stress more successfully.

 Some of the effects of stress on your body, your thoughts and feelings, and on your behavior:

Effect on your body

 Effect on your thoughts and feelings

  • Anger
  • Anxiety
  • Burnout
  • Depression
  • Feeling of insecurity
  • Forgetfulness
  • Irritability
  • Problem concentrating
  • Restlessness
  • Sadness
  • Fatigue

 Effect on your behavior

  • Eating too much
  • Eating too little
  • Food cravings
  • Sudden angry outbursts
  • Drug abuse
  • Alcohol abuse
  • Higher tobacco consumption
  • Social withdrawal
  • Frequent crying
  • Relationship problems

Keep in mind that the signs and symptoms of stress listed above can also be caused by other psychological and medical problems. If you’re experiencing any of the warning signs of stress, it’s important to see a doctor for a full evaluation. Your doctor can help you determine whether or not your symptoms are stress-related.

How do you respond to stress?

It’s important to learn how to recognize when your stress levels are out of control. The most dangerous thing about stress is how easily it can creep up on you. You get used to it. It starts to feels familiar even normal. You don’t notice how much it’s affecting you, even as it takes a heavy toll.

Another problem is that often our ways of coping with stress can be unhealthy, unproductive and compounds our problems.

The first step in reducing stress is recognizing that you have stress and how it may be affecting you.   The next step that we will look at in the next blog post is our responses, good and bad.  Then future blog posts will examine some practical strategies.

Two of the best overarching strategies of dealing with stress is first, our attitude and second our support system.  Our faith will hugely impact both! That is why I want to encourage you to pray, asking God to help you and speak to you and attend the series Less Stress.  We cannot handle stress alone, thankfully we don’t have to.

Darrell

www.RidgeFellowship.com

Sources:

http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/145855.php

http://www.helpguide.org  (A trusted non-profit resource)

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Is God personal?

Posted on October 25, 2013 by dkoop

Explore GodWe’re wrapping up our series Explore God this Sunday.  One of the great questions of the series is, “Can I know God personally?”  I pray the following article from www.ExploreGod.com is helpful.

Is there a personal God whom people can know and experience? Some say yes. Learn more and decide for yourself.

Suppose you ask a friend for money—an amount to tide you over until you receive a promised paycheck. Your friend kindly obliges, and you both agree to terms. You have made what might be termed a personal loan.

What makes it personal? The loan exists between two persons: you and your friend. You know him, and he knows you. A relationship exists between the two of you. The loan provides context for some ongoing interaction between you.

In these ways, your arrangement can be called personal.

Now suppose you have a great respect for and knowledge of an historical figure—say, Martin Luther King, Jr. You’ve studied Dr. King’s writings, you’ve read books about him, and perhaps even spoken with persons who knew him. You can quote him and tell others about his life and work.

Is your relationship with Martin Luther King personal? Not quite. Why not?

You never interacted with Dr. King in the past, and it is impossible for you to do so now. Your connection with him would not be termed personal. Informed, yes. Inspirational, perhaps. But personal, no.

What Does “Personal” Mean?

Before we can wrestle with the question of whether or not God is personal, we must first understand the term itself.

We say something is personal when it involves relationship—particularly a binding, transactional, or socially acknowledged relationship. Furthermore, if something involves the actual presence of or interaction with another individual, then it is deemed personal. In this way, a personal relationship is not possible with an inanimate object, an intangible force, or an abstract idea.

For a thing to be personal, it must be particular and knowable. A teakettle is not personal; neither is a meteor shower nor “higher education.”

We may also describe something as personal if it involves our private life, our most intimate thoughts, or our emotions—something that touches us at a deep level. This definition is in play when we respond to a particularly probing question with the deflecting phrase, “That’s personal.”

The Christian Understanding of God

Of the many religions of the world, only three claim a singular, specific deity: Islam, Judaism, and Christianity. Each of these faiths believes that God is a being (not simply a force of nature) who can be known.

But of these religions, only Christianity proclaims a God who is relational within himself. Christians understand God as one God in three persons. The Trinity and the incarnation are exclusive to Christianity—and both are personal concepts, indeed.

The God Who Is Never Lonely

The triune God that Christians worship is three distinct persons in one being, revealed in history and in the pages of the Bible as Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.

Because of this, God was, is, and will always be in relationship. He is never alone and never lonely. His loving overture to mankind is simply the outflowing of the love that already exists within himself, for himself!

The personal salvation that Christians experience “is reconciliation with God the Father, carried out through God the Son, in the power of God the Holy Spirit.”1 God’s triune nature demonstrates the kind of personal relationship he longs to share with man.

The God Who Reaches Out

Christians worship a creator God who proactively enters into relationship with his created beings—a God who even refers to himself in the context of his human relationships: “I am the God of Abraham…the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob,” he says, identifying with the people to whom he made—and kept—great promises.2

Christians believe that God’s promises to his people demonstrate his desire for loving, personal relationships with them. He didn’t want simply to rule over them or micromanage their behavior.

He said over and over again that his desire was for them to be his people and for him to be their God.3 Such a God is “lovingly-loyal and loyally-loving to the works of His hands. He loves what He is committed to; He is committed to what He loves.”4

The God Who Became a Man

The crux of Christianity is this: the “good news” that God became a man to save men. Christians believe that “the Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the one and only Son, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth.”5

What better way to relate to men than to become a man? According to the Christian belief, Jesus Christ was fully God and fully man. As a result, there is no human situation or emotion that God cannot fully understand or feel empathy toward. Jesus Christ makes God personal to man:

Seventeenth-century philosopher Blaise Pascal described it this way:  “Not only do we not know God except through Jesus Christ, we do not even know ourselves except through Jesus Christ.”6

The God Who Pursues People

Through the ages, God’s loving overtures to mankind have compelled individual responses. Even self-professed atheists and skeptics have responded in faith to the God who lovingly pursues them.

Francis Collins, the former director of the National Human Genome Research Institute and current director of the National Institutes of Health, recalls his personal response to God more than thirty years ago, after reading C.S. Lewis’s book Mere Christianity:

I struggled with that for many months, really resisting this decision, going forward, going backward. Finally, after about a year… on a beautiful afternoon hiking in the Cascade Mountains, where the remarkable beauty of the creation around me was so overwhelming, I felt “I cannot resist this another moment. This is something I have really longed for all my life without realizing it, and now I’ve got the chance to say yes.”

So I said yes. I was 27. I’ve never turned back. That was the most significant moment of my life.7

Personal Stories about a Personal God

Experiences like Francis Collins’s offer the strongest evidence of a personal God. Similar testimonies have come from millions of men and women over the past two thousand years who have experienced a personal relationship with God through Jesus Christ. Those who share this experience testify that God is real and that knowing him is the adventure of a lifetime.

Ask someone who is a Christ follower  about how they came to know God. Then explore for yourself this God who knows you and wants to be known by you.

What do you think?

www.RidgeFellowship.com

Footnotes

  1. Fred Sanders, The Deep Things of God: How the Trinity Changes Everything(Wheaton, Illinois: Crossway, 2010), 9.
  2. The Holy Bible, New International Version ©2011, Exodus 3:6.
  3. For examples, see The Holy Bible, Exodus 6:7; Leviticus 26:12; Jeremiah 7:23, 11:4, 30:22; Ezekiel 36:28.
  4. David Naugle, “Developing a Biblical View of Life,” The Christian Worldview Journal, April 5, 2010.
  5. The Holy Bible, John 1:14.
  6. Blaise Pascal, Pensees (Berwyn, PA: P.F. Collier & Son, 1910), #548, 177.
  7. Francis Collins, “The Question of God: Other Voices,” PBS.org, accessed December 21, 2012.

 

By:  Leigh McLeroy

 

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