Song of Solomon Commentary Ch 1:1-2:7

Posted on February 15, 2022 by dkoop

1:1. This verse identifies the author of the Song as Solomon. As Israel’s third king Solomon ruled from 971 to 931 b.c. Solomon was more gifted with literary skill than any other king of Israel for he wrote 3,000 proverbs and 1,005 songs (1 Kings 4:32). It is appropriate that a subject as wonderful as romantic love is described in sublime language by a competent human author, writing of course under the Holy Spirit’s inspiration. Interestingly, of the more than 1,000 songs Solomon wrote, only this one was designed by God to be included in the biblical canon. Solomon is mentioned by name in six other verses: Song of Songs 1:5; 3:7, 9, 11; 8:11-12.

The title Song of Songs offers a clue to the interpretation of the work. It is one song out of many songs. The reader therefore is not to view the work as a collection of songs but rather as one unified song. The words “Song of Songs” suggest the superlative, as in “most holy” (Ex. 29:37) which is literally, “holy of holies.” As a superlative the title may mean that this is the best of Solomon’s 1,005 songs or, more likely, that this is the best of all songs. In either case the Song sets before its readers a paradigm for romantic love in courtship and marriage.

The Courtship

Though this section (1:2-3:5) abounds with expressions of sexual desire, great sexual restraint is exercised by the lovers. However, after the wedding procession (3:6-11) there is a no sexual restraint in the Song. So this section points up the fact that in romantic courtship restraint in sexual intercourse ought to be observed.

A. Introduction: The expressions of longing, insecurity, and praise (1:2-11)

1. The Theme of Longing (1:2-4)

The Song begins with a soliloquy by the beloved in which she first expressed her strong desire for her lover’s (Solomon’s) physical affection (kisses, 1:2). The rapid interchange between the third person (him, v. 2a, and his, vv. 2a, 4b) and the second person (your and you, vv. 2b-4a) is confusing to modern readers, but it was a regular feature of love poetry in the ancient Near East. This stylistic device gave a strong emotional quality to the poetry. When she spoke of his love (v. 2b) she was referring to the physical expressions of his love (the Heb. word for “love” is the pl. dōd̠m, also used in 4:10). The statement your love is more delightful than wine means that his physical affections were exhilarating, refreshing, and a great source of joy (cf. 1:4).

The pleasing aroma of his perfumes made him even more attractive to her. Mention of perfumes led her to compare his name to perfume. A person’s name represented his character or reputation (cf. 2 Sam. 7:9). So comparing Solomon’s name to perfume meant that his character was pleasing and attractive to the beloved. For this reason, she said, many were attracted to him.

The statement the king (cf. Song 1:12; 3:9, 11; 7:5) has brought me into his chambers may be rendered as a request: “May the king bring me into his chambers.” In this sense she was expressing her desire for intimacy and marriage with the lover. This matches the first part of 1:4, Take me away with you. In summary, this opening soliloquy suggests that physical desire is a characteristic of romantic love and that properly channeled the desire is good, not evil. One ought to be “intoxicated” with love for one’s own mate (cf. Prov. 5:18-19), rather than with wine, drugs, or other people. However, the choice of a marriage partner should be based on far more than purely physical considerations. The beloved’s speech indicates that the character (“name”) of a person is vitally important in the selection of one’s spouse.

Speakers in the Song of Solomon
The beloved Friends of the beloved Solomon 

(the lover)

 God The beloved’s brothers
1:2-4a 1:4b
1:4c-7 1:8
1:9-10
1:11
1:12-14 1:15
1:16-2:1 2:2
2:3-13 2:14
2:15-3:11 4:1-15
4:16 5:1a-d 5:1e
5:2-8 5:9
5:10-16 6:1
6:2-3 6:4-9
6:10
6:11-12 6:13a 6:13b-7:9a
7:9b-8:4 8:5a
8:5b-7 8:8-9
8:10-12 8:13
8:14

1:4b. The beloved’s “friends” elsewhere referred to as the “daughters of Jerusalem” (v. 5; 3:10; 5:8, 16) and “daughters of Zion” (3:11), spoke in 1:4b. Many suggestions have been given concerning the identity of the “daughters of Jerusalem,” such as female wedding guests, ladies of the royal court, concubines in the royal harem. Most likely they refer to the female inhabitants of Jerusalem.

2. The Theme of Insecurity (1:5-8)

1:5-6. The beloved’s suntanned appearance (dark am I) revealed that she worked in the fields. This made her feel insecure (do not stare at me) among the city dwellers and in particular the women of Jerusalem. She compared her dark skin to the tents of Kedar, which were made of black goats’ hair. The people of Kedar were nomads in northern Arabia who descended from Ishmael (Gen. 25:13). They were known for their archery (Isa. 21:16-17) and flocks (Isa. 60:7; Jer. 49:28-29; Ezek. 27:21; also see Ps. 120:5; Isa. 42:11; Jer. 2:10). Apparently the tent curtains of Solomon were also black.

Her explanation for her dark appearance was almost an apology. Because of hard outdoor work in the vineyards, required of her by her brothers, she was forced to neglect the cultivation of her own vineyard, that is, herself and her appearance (cf. Song 8:12).

1:7. The beloved’s feelings of insecurity helped arouse in her a desire for her lover’s presence. She addressed him as though he were a shepherd (a common epithet for a man in ancient Near Eastern love poetry). The verse is either a soliloquy (assuming the lover is absent) or, if he is present, a request for a meeting later in the day. If she could not be with him she said she would be like a veiled woman. This enigmatic expression means either that she would be mistaken for a prostitute (cf. Gen. 38:14-15)

1:8. The reply in this verse is usually credited to the lover since he was addressed in the preceding question (v. 7). If Solomon is the speaker then the verse is probably a playful or teasing response. However, the verse seems too cold and distant in tone for Solomon. So it may be a disdainful reply by the friends: “If you, of all people, do not know where he is, go to the other shepherds where you really belong anyway” (graze your young goats).

3. The Theme of Praise (1:9-11)

1:9-11. The answer to the beloved’s feelings of insecurity (vv. 5-6) was the praise of her lover. Frequently he called her his darling (vv. 9, 15; 2:2, 10, 13; 4:1, 7; 5:2; 6:4). In ancient Arabic poetry, women were sometimes compared to horses as objects of beauty, but the reference in 1:9 is probably more specific. The words a mare harnessed to one of the chariots of Pharaoh is literally, “a mare among the chariots of Pharaoh.” Stallions, not mares, were used to pull chariots in antiquity. A mare, therefore, among the chariots might well start a chaotic experience. The point of the comparison is that in Solomon’s opinion she was as beautiful and sought after as if she were the only woman in a world full of men. When he further stated that she was beautiful with jewelry (earrings and necklaces, v. 10), the daughters of Jerusalem (we, v. 11) were forced to change their attitude of disdain (v. 6) and to agree with royal opinion. They even agreed to make her earrings. Verse 10 includes the first of numerous times in the book where he said she is beautiful (cf. v. 15 [twice]; 2:10, 13; 4:1 [twice], 7; 6:4; 7:1, 6). In summary, since the beloved had felt self-conscious about her appearance, the lover praised her physical beauty so that her detractors were forced to agree with him.

B. The growth of love and its intensity (1:12-2:7)

This section consists of a series of units in the progression of the lovers’ courtship. Their longing for and praise of each other expand and intensify, and the insecurity of the beloved is resolved. The first unit (1:12-2:6) records a growing intensity in desire, praise, and security. The refrain (2:7) is an appeal for patience since love cannot be forced.

1. Mutual Praise (1:12-2:6)

1:12-14. The beloved praised the king for his pleasing and attractive characteristics which were like perfume (cf. comments on v. 3) whose function was to attract rather than repel. He was constantly in her thoughts just as the smell of the myrrh (in her sachet around her neck) was constantly in her nostrils. Myrrh was a pleasant-smelling gum that exudes from small trees in Arabia. It is mentioned frequently in the Song of Songs (v. 13; 3:6; 4:6, 14; 5:1, 5 [twice], 13). All other men, compared with him, were like the desert. Among them he stood out like a beautiful cluster of flowers in a desert oasis. Henna (cf. 4:13) blossoms were white, and En Gedi was an oasis on the west coast of the Dead Sea. Earlier David had fled to En Gedi while running away from Saul (1 Sam. 23:29; 24:1).

1:15. The lover returned her praise by commending not only her beauty (beautiful occurs twice in this v.) but also her tranquil character. In antiquity doves (cf. 2:12, 14; 4:1; 5:2, 12; 6:9) were noted for their cleanliness and tranquility. “According to Rabbinic teaching, a bride who has beautiful eyes possesses a beautiful character; they are an index to her character” (S.M. Lehrman, “The Song of Songs,” in The Five Megilloth, p. 4).

1:16-17. Both of these verses may be seen as spoken by the beloved (rather than v. 16 by the beloved and v. 17 by the lover, as in the niv). Though she recognized his physical good looks (handsome) she was more taken by the charm of his personality (Oh, how charming!). The word “charming” means “pleasant” or “lovely” and the combination, handsome and pleasant, was as rare then as it is now. This is the first of about two dozen times she referred to him as my lover. The beams of cedars and the rafters made of firs probably do not refer to a literal building but figuratively to the pastoral setting in which they first met. This is also suggested by the verdant (green) bed (couch). The field where they fell in love and sat talking was green.

2:1. Here the beloved spoke of herself as a rose of Sharon, the fertile coastal region of Israel from Caesarea to Joppa. The Hebrew word for rose is ḥăb̠aṣṣelet̠. In Isaiah 35:1, its only other occurrence in the Old Testament, it is translated “crocus,” which may be the meaning here. It was a common meadow flower. The lily too was a common flower mentioned often in the Song of Songs (2:1-2, 16; 4:5; 5:13; 6:2-3; 7:2). Though in her humility she likened herself to common flowers of the field, her statement (2:1) reflects a significant contrast with her earlier self-consciousness (1:5-6). Her improvement probably was because of her lover’s praising her (1:9-10, 15).

2:2. The lover echoed his beloved’s newfound sense of worth by comparing her to a lily and all other women to thorns. He agreed that she was a lily (v. 1) but not just any lily! She was as unique among all others as a single lily would be among many thorns.

2:3-6. The beloved’s reciprocal praise of her lover was also expressed metaphorically. As an apple tree would be a delightful surprise in a forest so Solomon was a delightful and rare “find” among all the other men. He was unique, sweet, and fragrant.

The beloved’s praise of her lover reveals three aspects of romantic love that are important to women. First, she felt protected by him. Sitting in his shade was a metaphor for protection, not only in the Bible but also in the literature of the ancient Near East. She had worked in the sun (1:6) but now she enjoyed resting under his protection. Second, they cultivated the kind of relationship that allowed them to know each other intimately. The word taste expressed a knowledge of someone through intimate personal experience (cf. Ps. 34:8, “Taste and see that the Lord is good”). Third, the beloved appreciated the fact that Solomon let others see his love for her. As a banner (a military standard) was easily seen by the troops as they marched, so Solomon’s love for his beloved was easily seen by anyone who observed their relationship. He was not ashamed of her; instead he delighted in her and it was evident to others. One way he showed this was by taking her to his banquet hall (cf. “table” in Song 1:12) in the palace.

These three things—protection by her lover, intimacy with him, and obvious displays and expressions of love from him—are crucial factors that enable a woman to develop a sense of security and self-worth and thereby to enjoy a stable marriage.

The beloved had begun to experience these three things with Solomon during their courtship so it is no wonder that she became faint with love (2:5; cf. 5:8). The theme of lovesickness was common in ancient Near Eastern love poetry. So she expressed her desire for his strengthening and his embrace. She asks for Raisin cakes which were considered aphrodisiacs.

Since Song of Songs 2:5 is a request, verse 6 should probably be translated as a request also (“May his left arm be under my head, and may his right arm embrace me“) rather than a declarative statement.

2. The Refrain (2:7)

2:7. This refrain, spoken by the beloved to the daughter of Jerusalem means that sexual love cannot be forced or rushed but must be patiently waited for.  The very thought of being loved by so great a person left her faint, and she asked for apples and cakes of raisins so she could regain her strength. In 2:6, she anticipates the consummation of their marriage (“O that his left hand were under my head and his right hand embracing me!”), but she knows she must wait for the right time which is after her marriage.

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Sources:  Bible Exposition Commentary, Bible Knowledge Commentary, Life Application Study Notes

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Attraction and Dating – Song of Solomon 1

Posted on February 9, 2022 by dkoop

If your married or dating isn’t it great to remember when you first met?   It’s a question that always comes up,  “So, how did you guys meet?”  I’ll never forget the day that Niki and I met, it was July 4th, 1994.  I was doing Youth Ministry, teaching Driver’s Ed, and in Seminary with no hope for meeting a girl my age.  We were introduced by a guy that I went to Texas A & M with, Greg McKeever. He was from Waxahachie TX, attending medical school in San Antonio.  He dropped by with two girls one of them was Niki.  One of the first things he said was, “Hey Darrell, you like my new BF Goodrich tires?  There’s two beautiful women and we’re talking about tires! There’s a lot that I don’t understand about relationships.  That is why I’m grateful there is an entire book of the Bible dedicated to relationships!

It’s called the Song of Solomon or the Song of Songs, whichever way you hear it, it’s the same book.  It’s tucked away in the Old Testament.  It will give us principles and insight into how to deal with the relationships that we find ourselves in.  It applies to everyone.  Statistics say that the majority of people will marry at least once in their lifetime.   Wherever you are, single or married this book will give you some great tips and insight.  If you are married and your relationship is barely hanging on then this book can help you take some steps to move forward.  If your relationship is going great then the Song of Solomon will help it become even better!

Here is what’s interesting to me.  We will go to college, or a trade school, and go for four years to get all kinds of information so we move into a career path and get a job.  Yet we spend hardly any time learning relational skills.  Over these next five weeks we’re going to look at this book that will serve as vital information to help us grow relationally.

Three thousand years ago a guy by the name of Solomon wrote a love song.  Solomon was the king over Israel from 970 – 931 B.C.  He reigned in Israel for forty years in peace. He took over the throne when he was twenty years old.  He wrote over three thousand proverbs, from what the Bible tells and 1005 psalms.  A lot of his proverbs are found in the book of Proverbs, two psalms in Psalms but the Song of Solomon, is labeled as “the greatest of all songs.”

Have you seen the Disney movie, Cinderella? Did you know there are over 1500 different versions of the Cinderella story?  Basically, it’s the story of a prince who falls in love with a peasant girl and develops this relationship.  Love causes them to conquer those differences that they would have faced.  There are all kinds of versions around the world.  But the oldest Cinderella story that I’m aware of is actually found in the Bible here. The Song of Solomon is a Cinderella story.

Once upon a time in the hill country of Israel, there was a king, who lent out a vineyard to a family.  That family worked the vineyard.  The parents had died, apparently.  There were two brothers and at least two sisters.  The brothers treated the girls very harshly, particularly one girl who they caused to do hard labor.  They caused her to work out in the field of the vineyard.  One day this young woman meets a shepherd.  This shepherd, as she begins to talk to him, develops a friendship.  As the shepherd comes back and that friendship begins to grow.  Eventually it grows into love.  Now, the shepherd says he’s going to come back and take the young woman’s hand in marriage but the brothers are skeptical about it.  They don’t believe it.  Then the shepherd goes away for a long time.  The young girl gets a summons to go visit the king.  She doesn’t understand what it’s about.  She goes before the king and when she walks in she sees the face of the shepherd, who was actually the king.  It’s the Cinderella story of the Song of Solomon.

What we have in this book, is this love song or love poem of them interacting with one another about their relationship.  It’s almost like they took a box of old photos and set it out on the coffee table.  They begin to take pictures out.  Look at this picture of when we were dating.  We get to look into their life from that point of view.  Look at this picture of when we are in conflict.  We can see how they dealt with conflict.  That’s how this whole song unfolds.

We don’t know the young woman’s name.  It just says in chapter six, verse thirteen that she’s a Shulammite.  Shulammite is simply, in the Hebrew language that the Bible was written in, is the feminine word for Solomon.  So basically, it’s the story of Mr. and Mrs. Solomon.  We begin to see how they interact.  Marriage and family therapists will tell you that there are some major landmines that every relationship will face and deal with.

Four of the most common landmines that couples experience are these:  money, communication, sex and religion.  Those four areas are huge areas of potential conflict in relationships.  As we look at the Song of Solomon, we’re going to learn some great principles for each.

First let’s examine the importance of character.  The Song of Solomon starts with the females, the Shulammite voice.  She says in chapter 1:2, “Pleasing is the fragrance of your perfumes; your name is like perfume poured out.  No wonder the maidens love you!”

Remember this is poetry.  It’s a song so it’s not like reading an article in a magazine.  There’s a lot of flowery language.  There are a lot of metaphors and symbolism here.

She starts this love song by saying, “You know what Solomon, your scent is so pleasing to me.  Your fragrance draws me.”  Men in the Old Testament didn’t take a bath everyday.  But they would put oil or cologne on that would give them a certain fragrance or smell.

She says not only is he a wonderfully smelling person, “Your scent draws me to you externally, but “your name is like perfume poured out.”  This is very important.  The name in the Old Testament stood for a person’s character.

In Relationships:

1.   Character is Critical.

 It was their reputation.  She said, “Your name is so valuable its like perfume poured out.  It’s a sweet fragrance.”  In other words, you are not only beautiful on the outside; you are beautiful on the inside.  That’s what draws me to you.  Your character draws me to you.  This is so important for us to hear today.  Beauty is only skin deep.  Beauty fades, but character remains.   Looks are important, yes, but character is critical.

If you e in a dating relationship, I want to challenge you to put character at the top of the list of the qualities for the person you are looking for.  As I look around at our society, character seems to find it’s way at the bottom.  We think, “I’ll change him or her.” Not likely.   They may eventually change on their own but you are looking at a war if that’s the way you try to go about navigating a relationship.

How do you determine a person’s character?  How do you figure out who they really are in a dating relationship?  We get a couple principles out of this verse that we just read in the Song of Solomon.  Now I want to put it to you in the form of questions you can ask to help determine a character.

 Ways to Examine Character…

How does this person act under stress? How do they act when they are under pressure?  She said, “Solomon, your name is like perfume that’s poured out.”  The way they made perfume in that day, some translations translate that phrase “it’s like purified oil poured out.”  They would take olives and put them under incredible pressure.  Out of that pressure would come the oil that would become the cologne of their day.  If you want to determine what their character is really like then look at how they deal with pressure.  When they are under stress?  Watch how they handle that.  It will tell you a lot about who that person is.

What do others say about this person?  Another question to lay over a person’s life if you are in a dating relationship is this, what do others say about this person?  You should listen to the voices around you.  The Shulammite said, “Solomon, all the other maidens love you.”  The people loved him.  In other words, everyone says good things about you and I’m not ashamed to be in a relationship with you. Have you ever known someone who dated someone and kept it back in the closet?  My question is if you are not willing to take that relationship public, if this is a person you are not proud to be with then why are you in that dating relationship?  Let me tell you what’s happening.  If you are dating a bad boy because they’re bad or a bad girl because she’s bad and you’re in this relationship and ultimately see it going nowhere, here’s what’s happening…you’re shading your own character in that relationship.  Character matters.  Ecclesiastes 7:1 says this, “A good name is better than fine perfume.”  Is this person that you are with someone you wouldn’t be ashamed to take home and meet the parents?

How does this person treat others? Another question you can ask if you want to determine a person’s character is this, how does this person treat others?  If you are in a relationship and you are dating a guy and you’re dating him for a couple weeks and you notice him telling a lie to one of his friends, don’t be so naïve to think he wouldn’t tell a lie to you.  If you are in a dating relationship and this guy just stole from someone else don’t be so naïve to think that at some point he wouldn’t steal from you.  If he’ll do it to someone else, at some point he has every capability of doing it to you.  Look at how a person treats other people and you’ll get a real window into their character and who they are and how someday they may treat you.

Those are some critical questions.  External beauty is only skin deep.  Put character at the top of the list if you are in a dating relationship with another person.  Character is critical.

Another tip that we see here in the Song of Solomon is to

Communicate Love and Respect.

He Communicates Love.

For men to communicate love to the woman in their life is important.  Solomon has done that with this Shulammite.   In chapter one, verse five here’s what she says, “Dark am I, yet lovely, O daughters of Jerusalem, dark like the tents of Kedar, like the tent curtains of Solomon.  Do not stare at me because I am dark, because I am darkened by the sun.  My mother’s sons were angry with me and made me take care of the vineyards; my own vineyard I have neglected.”  A couple things we need to see here.  First of all, in our culture everyone is about getting a tan.  We go to great lengths to get a tan.  There are tanning beds, tanning salons and tanning lotion.

This had nothing to do with race.  In Solomon’s culture a tan implied that you were a laborer.  A tan implied that you had been working out in the fields.  She says, “Don’t look down at me.  Don’t despise me because of my skin.  I have a farmer’s tan to prove I’m not of the same social class that you are.” It’s something she doesn’t like about herself.  Don’t we all have things that we don’t like about ourselves?  She says, “I’m dark.  Don’t look down on me.”  Here’s what he does, Solomon communicates love to this woman to such a degree that you see her change over the course of the book.

In the early chapters you see some self-doubt expressed but as the book goes on she begins to find more and more confidence.  She’s gone from viewing herself as somebody who may be unacceptable or as someone who may not be as beautiful as someone else to seeing herself as the most valuable thing in his world.  Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.  Solomon says, “There is no one like you in my world.”  He has communicated that to her so that she understands it and receives it.

In chapter 1:9 Solomon says this, “I liken you, my darling…” That’s significant so I want to stop right there.  That phrase, “my darling” could literally be translated, “my female friend.”  They developed a friendship.  If you want a relationship that lasts, it has to be built on an intimate friendship.  You can get into a relationship based on sex.  Studies say that in as little as one year that relationship will dissolve if built on sex alone.  You can get in a relationship based on any number of things but the relationship that lasts is a relationship that’s anchored in a friendship and an intimacy.  He says, “I liken you my female friend.”  Do you know what I think the greatest challenge is in intimacy, in relationships today, is simply time.  We are so busy, aren’t we?  We are going in so many directions with so many responsibilities.  There are so many things that we need to do that it’s hard to find time to be around.

A relationship can only go so long if that friendship and time element starts to break down before it starts to drift.  We’ve got to work hard.  We’re going to look over the next six weeks how we can carve out time to develop that friendship and community.  Solomon says this in verse nine, “I liken you, my darling, to a mare harnessed to one of the chariots of Pharaoh. Your cheeks are beautiful with earrings, your neck with strings of jewels.  We will make you earrings of gold, studded with silver.”  Just a word of caution here guys.  You probably don’t want to go home and when the wife walks out before a date say, “Honey, I liken you to a mare.”  She’ll say, “Are you calling me a fat horse?”

In Solomon’s culture it was different.  Mares weren’t harnessed to chariots.  In Egypt and other parts of that world it was a stallion that would be harnessed to a chariot.  If a stallion was about to charge into battle and someone were to bring out a mare, the stallions would be distracted.  Here’s what Solomon is saying, “You are like a mare hooked to a chariot.”  In other words, when you walk in the room, all my attention goes to you.  When you come into a room, everything stops.  You are my number one greatest distraction.  You are the only one I can think of.  He’s communicating love to her.

Here’s what Solomon has learned how to do, he shows us how to communicate love so she receives it.  He communicates love to her verbally so it changed her own image of herself and he’s communicated it to her with gifts.  It’s all these little things.  It’s not once a year.  It’s the little things that add up.  Tell her that you love her in front of her friends.   Tell her you love her hair.  Tell her you love the way she looks.  You love this about her.  You love that about her.   What you will find is that your love quota (your love ability) will begin to just rise in your household.  It will begin to rise in that dating relationship as you are communicating what the other person needs.  You are communicating it in a way that they need to hear.

She Communicates Respect.

As you look at the Song of Solomon you can just tell that she has so much respect for him.  It comes off of everything she says, even in those couple of verses that we just read.  “Your name is like a perfume poured out.”  She is drawn to him and she respects who he is as a person.  This is really, really important.  Ladies, hear me on this. I’m convinced men’s primary need is not simply love.  I think that’s a woman’s primary need.  A man’s primary need, even before love, is respect.   Ephesians 5:33 says this, first it speaks to husbands, “However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself.  The wife must respect her husband.”  It doesn’t say, “Husbands love your wives and wives love your husbands.”  It’s says, “Husbands love your wives and wives respect your husbands.”  Think about the implications of that.  I believe a woman’s primary need is to feel loved.  But a man’s primary need is to feel respected.  In fact, I read a poll where they sat down with four hundred different men and asked them this question:  If you had to choose between being alone and unloved for the rest of your life or being disrespected by everyone, which would you choose?  Seventy-four percent of men said they would choose to be alone and unloved the rest of their life rather than being disrespected.  Sometimes our problem might be that women are trying to love their men but what men need is respect.  Out of that respect, they will be motivated to love them and meet those needs. *There’s a whole book based on this called, “Love & Respect” it’s a best seller and a Connect Group that we have offered before.

One woman I read about started to implement this in her relationship.  She said this, “Just a few days ago I decided to tell my husband that I respect him.  I felt so awkward to say the words but I went for it.  The reaction was unbelievable.  He asked me what I respected about him.  I listed off a few things.  Although I could have said much more, I watched his demeanor change before my eyes.”  Too often we think that love needs to be unconditional but respect is earned.  Maybe at work, but not at home.   Love AND respect is unconditional.

Ladies respecting your man will begin to transform the way they love you and communicate their love to you.  It can take the relationship to a whole new level.

Next week we’ll look at how to have a healthy marriage.  We’ll discuss dating and why dating shouldn’t end when you walk down the aisle, we’ll look at conflict and how to reduce it and how to communicate show our commitment. When it comes to relationships the Song of Solomon has so much to say.   Until next week!

Darrell

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Song of Songs Series Introduction

Posted on February 5, 2022 by dkoop

Series: Love of Loves in the Song of Songs

Description: God knew what He was doing when He created love, marriage and sex. In fact, He wrote the book on it! God has given us a divine manual on romantic relationships in the Song of Solomon, taking us from a couple’s initial attraction through courtship, marriage, honeymoon, conflict, and deepening intimacy. These scriptures are insightful and (at times) explicit, but offer guidance toward the emotionally-satisfying relationships and marriage that God desires for you.

 

Dates           Titles                                Scripture                          Events  

2/6                Attraction & Dating            Song of Solomon 1-2:7

2/13              Healthy Marriage               Song of Solomon 2:8-3:11          Vow Renewal

2/20              Passionate Sex                  Song of Solomon 4

2/27              Handling Conflict                Song of Solomon 5-6

3/6                Lasting Love                      Song of Solomon 8

Book Overview:   SATURATED with stories of sexual escapades, secret rendezvous, and extramarital affairs, today’s media teach that immorality means freedom, perversion is natural, and commitment is old-fashioned. Sex, created by God and pronounced good in Eden, has been twisted, exploited, and turned into an urgent, illicit, casual, and self-gratifying activity. Love has turned into lust, giving into getting, and lasting commitment into “no strings attached.”

In reality, sexual intercourse, the physical and emotional union of male and female, should be a holy means of celebrating love, producing children, and experiencing pleasure, protected by the commitment of marriage.

God thinks sex is important, and Scripture contains numerous guidelines for its use and warnings about its misuse. And sex is always mentioned in the context of a loving relationship between husband and wife. Perhaps the highlight of this is Song of Songs, the intimate story of a man and a woman, their love, courtship, and marriage. Solomon probably wrote this “song” in his youth, before being overtaken by his own obsession with women, sex, and pleasure.

A moving story, drama, and poem, Song of Songs features the love dialogue between a simple Jewish maiden (the young woman) and her lover (Solomon, the king). They describe in intimate detail their feelings for each other and their longings to be together. Throughout the dialogue, sex and marriage are put in their proper, God-given perspective.

Much debate has raged over the meaning of this song. Some say it is an allegory of God’s love for Israel or for the church. Others say it is a literal story about married love. In reality, it is both—a historical story with two layers of meaning. On one level, we learn about love, marriage, and sex; and on the other level, we see God’s overwhelming love for his people. As you read Song of Songs, remember that you are loved by God, and commit yourself to seeing life, sex, and marriage from his point of view.

Vital Statistics

Purpose: To tell of the love between a bridegroom (King Solomon) and his bride, to affirm the sanctity of marriage, and to picture God’s love for his people

Author: Solomon

Date Written: Probably early in Solomon’s reign

Setting: Israel—the Shulammite woman’s garden and the king’s palace

Key People: King Solomon, the young woman of Shulam, and friends

The Blueprint

  1. The wedding day (1:1-2:7)
  2. Memories of courtship (2:8-3:5)
  3. Memories of engagement (3:6-5:1)
  4. A troubling dream (5:2-6:3)
  5. Praising the bride’s beauty (6:4-7:9)
  6. The bride’s tender appeal (7:10-8:4)
  7. The power of love (8:5-14)

Song of Songs is a wedding song honoring marriage. The most explicit statements on sex in the Bible can be found in this book. It has often been criticized down through the centuries because of its sensuous language. The purity and sacredness of love represented here, however, are greatly needed in our day in which distorted attitudes about love and marriage are commonplace. God created sex and intimacy, and they are holy and good when enjoyed within marriage. A husband and wife honor God when they love and enjoy each other.

MEGATHEMES
THEME EXPLANATION IMPORTANCE
Sex Sex is God’s gift to his creatures. He endorses sex but restricts its expression to a man and a woman who are committed to each other in marriage. God wants sex to be motivated by love and commitment, not lust. It is for mutual pleasure, not selfish enjoyment.

I hope you can join us.

Darrell

www.Upwards.Church

Watch Messages: YouTube-Upwards Church

Facebook: Upwards Church

Sources: Life Application Study Bible , (Wheaton, IL: Tyndale, 1988), WORD
search CROSS e-book, 1075-1074.
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Building God’s Way – Nehemiah 7

Posted on February 4, 2022 by dkoop

We are wrapping up our series, Rise & Build. When we left Nehemiah last week, he had just finished building the wall.  He accomplished in 52 days what other people could not accomplish in 70 years.

We read last week: “So the wall was completed… in fifty-two days.”  Nehemiah 6:15. When I read that I have two emotions:  one that I want to breathe a sigh of relief for the guy and say, “Congratulations Nehemiah, you made it!  You finished!  You did what you came to do!  Way to go!” Two, I naturally say, “Now what?”

After completing your project what would you do?  Sit back, relax, enjoy your victory, coast along?  How we handle achievement tells us a lot about ourselves, our character and our values.  When you finish a project, when you’ve reached your goal it becomes a dangerous time in your life. When you’ve accomplished one goal and you don’t have another goal to follow it there is danger. You’re in real trouble.  Success tends to ruin a lot of people.  We become satisfied, complacent, we let down our guard and get comfortable in our lazy boy.  As a result we loose all the momentum.  I’ve seen this happen with a lot of churches.  Lets say they finished a building. The moment the building is erected, the people breathe a sigh of relief “We’ve arrived! We’re in the promised land!”  They let up the intensity that they had and think they are finished.

“After the wall had been rebuilt…”  (vs. 1) Now what?

When I Achieve One Goal, Set Another

 You can loose what you’ve gained if you don’t watch out!  We could all probably name somebody who achieved some tremendous success early in life.  You’d think they would be set for the rest of their life, have one achievement after another, but they became complacent, settled down, and never went any further.  If you don’t set another goal you could loose what you’ve already gained.

Have you ever worked real hard to loose weight?  Only to be comfortable and not set another goal? What happens? You gain back all the weight back and maybe at a faster rate! You’ve wasted all that effort. Right?  Just because you’ve achieved a certain goal is no guarantee you’re going to have that same level of achievement next week.  You must set other goals.

We often make spiritual gains in our life in different areas only to loose those gains in a relatively short period of time because we were neglectful or forgetful. when I talk to people who have backslidden spiritually from the Lord I find that it’s not a matter of suddenly going from loving the Lord, to hating the Lord.  They’ve went from loving the Lord to just forgetting the Lord, neglecting the Lord, the Bible and church.  It’s not a matter of love turning to hate, it’s a matter of love turning to neglect.

How many people have made a lot of money and then lost it in a short period of time? Neglect, complacency.

Nehemiah is a very wise person. We’re going to see how he ensured what he accomplished would last.

Chapter 7 is the dividing line in this Old Testament book.  We need to see that there are two phases in Nehemiah’s life.  Number one is building the wall, number two is building the future, building lives. Chapters 1-6 is the building of the wall which we looked at. Chapters 7-13 is the building of the people and the future. These are two distinct phases.  When the wall is complete Nehemiah has to shift hats, shift his focus, change his roll.

What we’re going to look at today is one of the main reasons businesses go bankrupt, why churches die, why organizations fail.

As I read leadership books and learn from my mentors I have found that like Nehemiah, when a project is complete a transition must take place. I must transition and grow with the organization. A church or the business can get strangled by the very one who started it if they fail to transition.  I know this is something that I must do but its not easy.

In chapter 7 Nehemiah demonstrates this important shift.  If you want to build what lasts then the shift must be made. If we are to continue to grow as a church we must continue to make this shift.

To Continue to Build…

·      We Must Have People Involved

“After the wall had been rebuilt and I had set the doors in place, the gatekeepers and singers and Levites were appointed.” v. 1

Notice the people involved here. Gatekeepers — these were guards, watchmen, the police of the city.  They were to protect and keep the peace.  Singers — these were in the band.  Worship was important to Israel.  Levites — these were assistants to the priests.

People got involved according to their interests, talents and abilities. Notice also that leaders were appointed. We must have godly leaders.

2 “I put in charge of Jerusalem my brother Hanani, along with Hananiah, the commander of the citadel, because he was a man of integrity and feared God more than most men do.”

Nehemiah makes his brother, Hanani, a civil leader, in charge of Jerusalem.  Today, we’d call this guy the mayor.  Then he makes Hananiah, the commander of the citadel, which is a military leader.  He is like the chief of police.  So he’s got gatekeepers singers, Levites, a mayor and a chief of police and Nehemiah himself was the governor of the province.  Nehemiah is demonstrating one of the important tasks of leadership as any organization grows and that is the task of involving others or delegation.   This is getting beyond his control so he’s giving up responsibility, spreading it around.

The point here is that he knew no organization can ever grow long term if it’s built on one person.  A church, business, government cannot grow long term if it’s going to be built on one person.  This is the shift that must be made: from one person doing it all to having others involved.

This is understandable to me since I started our church twenty years ago.  When we first started I did almost everything, between Niki and I, we did it all.  I printed the bulletins, I set up the chairs, I took down the chairs, I planned the service, I did the message, I took the offering to a bookkeeper.  I put out signs and banners, mailed mailers, I wrote letters to everyone, I answered the phone. I did it all that.  But my goal all along has been to grow the church and share the ministry. Most pastors are ministry hogs. They do it all and keep doing it all! That’s not the biblical model.  Jesus had 12 disciples and gave them the ministry. The point is, the church should raise up other leadership and other people, other staff, other workers and share the ministry.   Basically after five years, the only thing I was holding on to that other people were not doing were the messages. Then in 2005 I began to share that too, first with Brian Shanklin, now with 3 other guys!  If I were the only hired holy man in this church then we’d not be effective or grow without involvement of others.  There is a limit to one person’s ability, time, effort, energy, talent, knowledge.

I care so much about our leaders because they get it.  They want to make a difference for Christ.  We often talk about being an effective church. We often talk about growing.  We often talk about reaching our community.

And first key to building your dreams is to get others involved, like we have done with our leaders.  Maybe you want to be involved here at Upwards Church. We welcome that!

Something else that is important…

·      We Must Keep On Organizing Our Efforts

We record just about everything we can: attendance, offering, small groups, guests, decisions for Christ, baptisms, and even more. We have all our Connection cards in a database, Bonnie and Tessa keeps records of all that and more.  Why?

So we can keep on organizing for effectiveness. In a growing organization you need to keep track of the people.  The second thing that Nehemiah did in this chapter is take a census.  Not only does he find out how many there are but he finds out who they are.  There are three complete lists of people.  They don’t mean a lot to you or me but they meant a lot to Nehemiah.  People were important to Nehemiah.

4 Now the city was large and spacious, but there were few people in it, and the houses had not yet been rebuilt. 5 So my God put it into my heart to assemble the nobles, the officials and the common people for registration by families. I found the genealogical record of those who had been the first to return.

He had an accounting of the people.  An important part of management is to keep good records.  One of the characteristics of a good church, a good organization, is they know who’s in it.  A church with two locations and with new people all the time, it’s pretty difficult to keep on top of it all.  Fortunately we have Bonnie, Tessa and a several databases!

We have every Connection card ever filled out in a database. If you’ve filled out a Membership card, it has more information that helps us organize even more.

Also we have re-organized the best way for people to grow spiritually.  What is best is this based on our purpose:   Love God (Great Commandment) worship service weekly, Love People, get in a Connect Group to build meaningful relationships, be known and be prayed for.  Then, Share Jesus (Great Commission) get involved in a ministry team, or mission team or community outreach.  That is a healthier way to grow spiritually.   So if you are wondering what your next step is after attending church on Sundays?  It’s a Connect Group!   See the pictures on the wall with the days and times, mens, womens, youth, couples.

We’re also getting organized in how we present the scriptures.  We’re going through the entire bible in 5 years.  We want to cover each book, and try to cover all the major characters and all the major doctrines of the bible over a five year period!   This will give us traction, direction and a clear plan for entire church.  For too many years, I was guilty of choosing topics I wanted or the congregation wanted and we leave some books and topics untouched.   When is the last time you heard a message from Haggi or Zephaniah?  You will in the next five years! What if you get to heaven and Hagii walks up to you and says, “how did you like my book?”

Each Connect Group and ministry team will talk about that week’s subject in group.  Just give us 5 years & see if you don’t grow closer to Christ & your family as we go through the bible together.

There’s a third emphasis that Nehemiah focused on.  It’s something that some people don’t like to talk about but it’s an emphasis of a growing business or a growing church.

·      We Must Give Financially to God’s Work

Isn’t interesting that the God who does so many miracles for his people doesn’t just build the temple and furnish it miraculously?  No he gets his people to give in order to build, furnish and maintain the temple.   The third thing Nehemiah did was raise the money needed for restoring the Temple.

Some of the heads of the families contributed to the work. The governor gave to the treasury 1,000 drachmas of gold, 50 bowls and 530 garments for priests. 71 Some of the heads of the families gave to the treasury for the work 20,000 drachmas of gold and 2,200 minas of silver. 72 The total given by the rest of the people was 20,000 drachmas of gold, 2,000 minas of silver and 67 garments for priests.  Nehemiah 7:70-72

Notice the order of the giving.  First the leaders set the example. I can tell you here that our key leaders and staff are faithful givers and set this example.  Second, the heads of families gave their gifts.  Third, everybody else gave. If you were to add this all up it’s more than five million dollars in our terms of money.  It takes money to do God’s work!  We are a member supported church, which means we don’t get money from the church of England or a denomination, from Dell or Disney we get money from our members.  Look around and that is who does the giving.

There are 7 ways you can give today.

  1. You can give by cash or check – Using the Giving Envelope found in your program place cash or a check in an offering box. Offering boxes are located through the double doors as you exit the auditorium and throughout the building.
  2. To give by Debit Card, Mastercard or VISA, or you can complete the credit card section of the offering envelope and place in an offering box.
  3. Or you can use a credit or debit card at the Kiosk just outside the auditorium.
  4. You can also complete the giving section of the offering envelope, insert your check, cash or credit card information & mail it. No postage is necessary.
  5. Another way to give is Bill Pay. Log into your own banking website, add Upwards Church as a payee and your bank will send your offering to Upwards Church as a check directly from your bank account.
  6. To give Online, go to Upwards Church website and click “Giving”. Choose the type of giving and complete the form with your credit card information.
  7. Plus my favorite and fastest way to give is through the Tithely giving app. Just go the Google or Apple app stores, type in Tithely, find Upwards Church and follow the instructions.

Thank you for your faithful giving.  Every dollar helps to change lives!

Prayer:

We have talked about Building God’s Way, did you know that God wants to build your life?  It’s to have purpose, significance and meaning.  It comes through knowing Christ and serving him. Today you can say, “I know God you have plans for my life, I will give my life to Christ.”  Today you can say, “I am ready to be involved.  Today you can say, “I need to help financially. It takes money to build God’s kingdom, I will do my part.”  Thank you Lord for this church, for the lives that are changing, for the vision you have given us.  Help us be all we can for your sake, in Jesus Name.

Darrell

www.Upwards.Church

Watch Messages: YouTube-Upwards Church

Facebook: Upwards Church

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