Many husbands feel like cavemen when it comes to romance – even the husbands who are attentive to these things. Just glance at the expression of the guy packing a bouquet of flowers through a busy mall. He’s trying to mask his suspicion that everyone thinks he’s goofy – even as practically every woman he passes wishes flowers were waiting for her at home. That’s how dicey this whole enterprise is!
Attempts at romance are dangerous business. Why?
Romance exposes the vulnerability of the most confident man. Vulnerability and men don’t go together so well.
What will she think of my stupid little poem? . . . of this awkward note? . . . of these flowers . . . did I even get the right kind? Probably not!
Most men want to be good, loving husbands and wives play a vital role in their growth in this area. The spark of romance lay not only in the fledgling efforts of a tentative, untrained husband but also in the response of a wife, willing to receive from an imperfect effort what she truly desires.
There is no question that men have the responsibility to reach out to their wives in acts of love. Any man who claims to follow Christ but doesn’t regularly love his wife is walking contrary to what the Bible teaches.
When it comes to romance, the wise wife removes the danger most men feel. Instead, she encourages and teaches – yes, that’s right, teaches, her husband in the matter of meeting her romantic needs.
Remember, husbands are risking it . . . maybe only a little (a small spark) but they are risking it. Maybe his efforts aren’t exactly what she had in mind . . . but they are efforts – steps in the right direction.
When wives express pleasure and approval, it shows husbands that being vulnerable wasn’t so perilous after all – something every husband needs to know but so few come to understand.
He may not be writing epic poetry today (okay, for most of us, never! But, you get the idea) but, if that spark of inspiration is nurtured by appreciation rather than extinguished by ingratitude, it will grow over time into something that will turn any cave into an inviting oasis.
Ladies, if you take care with your approach, he’ll be better able to care about your words.
Romance isn’t today’s destination, it’s a journey of two lives learning to love richly, as God, the Author of romance intended.
For messages about marital relationships or our current series, “Sex” go to www.RidgeFellowship.com
Written by Matthew L Jacobson