A Living Hope – Job 19

Posted on July 5, 2018 by dkoop

Have you ever been crushed by what a friend or family member has said?   Have you ever crushed a loved one with your words?  In today’s scripture Job’s friends have crushed him with their words.  When people are hurting they don’t need lectures, they need love. When trying comfort a friend who is suffering it’s best to say very little.  Words like, “I’m sorry,” and “I’m praying for you.” are best.   Look at what Job says to his friends,

1  Then Job replied:  2  “How long will you torment me and crush me with words?
3  Ten times now you have reproached me; shamelessly you attack me. 4 If it is true that I have gone astray, my error remains my concern alone.  5  If indeed you would exalt yourselves above me and use my humiliation against me, Job 19:1-5 (NIV)

What do I do when?

  • My Friends Attack

What do I do when I feel that?

  • My God has Wronged

6  then know that God has wronged me and drawn his net around me. 7  “Though I cry, ‘I’ve been wronged!’ I get no response; though I call for help, there is no justice 8  He has blocked my way so I cannot pass; he has shrouded my paths in darkness. 9  He has stripped me of my honor and removed the crown from my head. 10  He tears me down on every side till I am gone; he uproots my hope like a tree. 11  His anger burns against me; he counts me among his enemies.  12  His troops advance in force; they build a siege ramp against me and encamp around my tent. 13  “He has alienated my brothers from me; my acquaintances are completely estranged from me. Job 19:6-13 (NIV)

 What do I do when?

  • My Family has Abandoned

14  My kinsmen have gone away; my friends have forgotten me. 15  My guests and my maidservants count me a stranger; they look upon me as an alien.  16  I summon my servant, but he does not answer, though I beg him with my own mouth. 17  My breath is offensive to my wife; I am loathsome to my own brothers. 18  Even the little boys scorn me; when I appear, they ridicule me.
19  All my intimate friends detest me; those I love have turned against me. 20  I am nothing but skin and bones; I have escaped with only the skin of my teeth. 21  “Have pity on me, my friends, have pity, for the hand of God has struck me. Job 19:14-21 (NIV)

 This has to be the low point of Job’s life!   It seems that EVERYONE has turned against him.  Have you ever felt that way?  Despite all that he lost and all that he experienced Job had a living hope.  A hope that was beyond what he could see and feel in that moment.

Viktor Frankel was a Jewish psychotherapist who survived the Auschwitz death camp. He went on to write a book called, Man’s Search for Meaning, that sold over 10 million copies. He began the research for this book as he was actually in Auschwitz watching his fellow prisoners and how they responded to the death and the torture and the humiliation and degradation that was that death camp, Auschwitz. And in his observations he saw several things. He said some people became brutal. Good, nice, respectable people…when they saw and smelt death everyday and saw the nakedness and humiliation that went along with those demonic death camps some people who were nice and kind became brutal and savage like animals. Other people simply gave up. He said one day they just wouldn’t get out of the bunk.

One day they just wouldn’t show up for roll call. Many of them would set a date and they would think this is the day, I had a dream and this is the day I am going to get out of the camp, but the day wouldn’t come. When they began to lose hope, when they gave up the immunity system in their body shut down and opened them up to the variety of the diseases that were floating around the camp and they would die. He said some people held on, but they held onto some expectations that weren’t really real. They said, we are going to get out of here someday and when we get out of Auschwitz we are going to go back to our city, to our town and we are going to go back to our family and friends and enjoy the life of prosperity that we did before the war. And Frankel said they got out and life wasn’t the same. Life is never the same after undergoing a Job like, Auschwitz like time of suffering and they didn’t thrive or make it. There was a fourth group of people, according to Frankel, who somehow maintained their inner liberty, a sense of freedom. He said the way they did it is that they had hope that was outside of them. And he said the only way to survive this death camp is to have your trust in the living hope. A living hope in the middle of death, a living hope in the middle of unparalleled suffering, but it kept them alive and it gave them joy.

What gave Job hope?  What can give you and me hope?

Let’s read what Job says,

25  I know that my Redeemer lives, and that in the end he will stand upon the earth.
26  And after my skin has been destroyed, yet in my flesh I will see God;
27  I myself will see him with my own eyes–I, and not another. How my heart yearns within me! Job 19:25-27 (NIV)

In 19:25-27, Job expressed confidence that, even if he died, he would still have a Redeemer who one day would exercise judgment on the earth. Furthermore, Job affirmed that he himself expected to live again and see his Redeemer! It was an affirmation of faith in the resurrection of the human body.

The Hebrew word translated “Redeemer” in verse 25 refers to the kinsman redeemer, the near relative who could avenge his brother’s blood (Deut. 19:6-12), reclaim and restore his brother’s property (Lev. 25:23-24, 39-55), and set his brother free from slavery   The kinsman redeemer could also go to court on behalf of a wronged relative (Prov. 23:10-11). In the book of Ruth, Boaz is the kinsman redeemer who was willing and able to rescue Ruth and give her a new life in a new land.

Previously, Job had talked about his need for an umpire (Job 9:33-34) and an Advocate in heaven (16:19). Now he takes it a step further: his Redeemer will one day vindicate him, and Job will be there to witness it! When you consider how little God had revealed in Job’s day about the future life, these words become a remarkable testimony of faith. And when you add to this the discouragement expressed by Job’s friends and his own intense suffering, Job’s witness becomes even more wonderful.

Of course, this kinsman redeemer is Jesus Christ. He took upon Himself a human nature so that He might reveal God to us, experience all that we experience, die for our sins, and then return to heaven to represent us before the Father. He is willing to save and able to save. One day He shall stand upon the earth and exercise judgment; and He will vindicate His own people.

Our living hope….

  • My Savior will Redeem Me!!

These few verses contain one of the most frequently quoted passages in the great book of Job. In it, Job cries out in the midst of his terrible suffering and expresses a great hope. He exclaims with an incredible burst of confidence that he knows that his Redeemer lives and that he will see Him with his own eyes! What an awesome hope! Job expresses here a faith like Paul described: a faith that fixes our eyes not on what is seen but on what is unseen (2 Co.4:18). There in the garbage dump all around Job, as well as in his own mortal body, were nothing but death and decay, suffering and disease. Nevertheless, Job took his eyes off his own pain and agony and, for a brief moment, lunged for the great unseen—the hope and certainty that God would redeem him.

Bear in mind that Job could neither see God nor hear God speaking at this time in his life. He longed for answers from the Lord but so far had received none. And sadly, all he had heard from his self-righteous and arrogant friends were more and more accusations, leading to additional heartache and a heavier burden. Still, from the depths of his being he longed for a Redeemer. Somehow, he knew that God would justify, redeem, and deliver him—if not in this life then surely in the next.

This is the hope that Job had, it’s the hope that I have.  Do you have this hope?  You can find it in Jesus Christ our redeemer.

Darrell

Sources: Bible Exposition Commentary (BE Series) – Old Testament – The Bible Exposition Commentary – Wisdom and Poetry.  Preacher’s Outline and Sermon Bible – Commentary – The Preacher’s Outline & Sermon Bible – Job.

 

 

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The Do’s and Don’ts of Comforting

Posted on June 8, 2018 by dkoop

Do you find it challenging to know what to say or how to respond to people who have experienced a great loss?  We may mean well, but if we’re not careful we can easily stick our foot in our mouth.  Sometimes, in painful situations, it is better to not say anything at all, then to try to comfort those who are grieving only to offend or hurt them further.

Too often, we are like this guy:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

In our passage of scripture today, we meet the “Three Amigos.”  Job’s three friends meant well and did some things well, but they also made some big mistakes with what they said. There are about 30 chapters of their distorted dialogue.

11  When Job’s three friends, Eliphaz the Temanite, Bildad the Shuhite and Zophar the Naamathite heard about all the troubles that had come upon him, they set out from their homes and met together by agreement to go and sympathize with him and comfort him.  Job 2:11

Who were these three amigos?  Eliphaz was the oldest. Eliphaz based his speeches on two things: his own observations of life (“I have seen”—Job 4:8; 5:3) Eliphaz put great faith in tradition (15:18-19), and the God he worshiped was an inflexible Lawgiver. “Who ever perished being innocent?” he asked (4:7); and a host of martyrs could have answered, “We have!” And what about our Lord Jesus Christ? Eliphaz had a rigid theology that left little or no room for the grace of God or a bigger picture.

Bildad must have been the second oldest of the three since he is named second and spoke after Eliphaz. In a word, Bildad was a legalist. His life-text was, “Behold, God will not cast away a perfect man, neither will He help the evildoers” (8:20). He could quote ancient proverbs, and like Eliphaz, he had great respect for tradition. For some reason, Bildad was sure that Job’s children died because they also were sinners (8:4)! The man seemed to have no feeling for his hurting friend.

Zophar was the youngest of the three and surely the most dogmatic. He speaks like a schoolmaster addressing a group of ignorant freshmen. “Know this!” is his unfeeling approach (11:6; 20:4). He is merciless and tells Job that God was giving him far less than he deserved for his sins! (11:6)

Now, let’s look at what they did well.   What you can you or I do to help people in grief and loss?  Two big DO’s and one big DON’T

DO Show Up.  Be there.  

11  When Job’s three friends, Eliphaz the Temanite, Bildad the Shuhite and Zophar the Naamathite, heard about all the troubles that had come upon him, they set out from their homes and met together by agreement to go and sympathize with him and comfort him.  Job 2:11

Upon learning of Job’s difficulties, three of his friends came to sympathize with him and comfort him. Later we learn that their words of comfort were not helpful—but at least they came. While God rebuked them for what they said (Job 42:7), he did not rebuke them for what they did—making the effort to come to someone who was in need.  When someone is in need, let’s go to that person, but let’s be sensitive about how we comfort him or her.

Cancer survivor and author Nancy Stordahl, says, the worst thing you can do in someone’s time of grief is to, “not show up at all to offer a shoulder for someone to cry on because you’re scared you might say the wrong thing. Don’t worry too much about what you say; just speak from your heart and be ready to listen. And it’s perfectly okay to admit that you don’t know what to say or do. Your presence alone says a lot in and of itself, and your job is not to fix things anyway even though you want to.

And remember silence is so under-rated. Sometimes there are no words.

Sometimes silence isn’t ‘silent’ at all.”

Job’s friends left their businesses and families and set out to be with Job.  Our presence has power!  Let’s agree to be there for people who are hurting.  Let’s show up and show our love and support.

The second response we can have or what we can do is….

DO Feel as They Feel. (Empathy)

12  When they saw him from a distance, they could hardly recognize him; they began to weep aloud, and they tore their robes and sprinkled dust on their heads.
13  Then they sat on the ground with him for seven days and seven nights. No one said a word to him, because they saw how great his suffering was. Job 2:12-13 (NIV)

Sympathy is to feel sorry for but empathy is try to put yourself in their shoes, to enter their pain.

Job’s friends showed grief with Job, they entered into grief with him by crying with him, tearing their robes and sprinkling dust on themselves. These were all signs of grieving in that time period and they joined with Job in his grief.

Then they sat for seven days!  Why did the friends arrive and then just sit quietly? According to Jewish tradition, people who come to comfort someone in mourning should not speak until the mourner speaks. Often the best response to another person’s suffering is silence. Job’s friends realized that his pain was too deep to be healed with mere words, so they said nothing. (If only they had continued to sit quietly!) Often, we feel we must say something spiritual and insightful to a hurting friend. Perhaps what he or she needs most is just our presence, showing that we care. Pat answers and trite quotations say much less than empathetic silence and loving companionship.

Try to feel what they feel but, “Try not to say, I know how you feel.

No two people are alike. No two experiences are alike, so no, you probably don’t know how the other person truly feels.

Instead say, I want to try to understand how you feel, tell me how you feel, I am here to listen. And then let the person share. This is not about you and your feelings. But of course, if the person wants to hear about your perhaps similar experience, by all means share. Take the cue from them.” [i]

Pastor and grief counselor of over 30 years Jim Rigby says,

“If you hear someone say, “I know how you feel” at a funeral, take them to the side and politely say, “no you don’t.” This is usually the opening for the “comforter” to talk about a loss they have suffered in their own past. It is painful to watch a grieving person have to listen to someone else’s past problems at such a painful time. Remind the comforter “this isn’t about you.”

The point is to let the grieving person know we care. We do that, by letting them set the tempo and the agenda of our conversation. And, in all my years of doing this work, I’ve never found words that are as helpful as loving and attentive silence.”

People we love and care for will suffer, have grief and loss.  What do we do? Be present, care, listen and try to feel as they feel.  We’ll look at more of what NOT to do in the next post.

Darrell

Additional Souirces:  Bible Exposition Commentary (BE Series) – Old Testament – The Bible Exposition Commentary – Wisdom and Poetry.
Life Application Study Bible.
[i] http://nancyspoint.com/four-things-not-to-say-to-someone-whos-grieving-or-recently-diagnosed-with-cancer/
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How Will You Respond to Pain and Loss?

Posted on May 29, 2018 by dkoop

What choices will you and I make when faced with unspeakable pain and loss?  How will we respond?  The story of Job is powerful. Why? It’s about the power of choice. The issue is not, “Will I someday experience a trial in my life? Will I someday experience suffering? Will I someday experience some random act of pain or violence in my life or a family member’s life? That is not really the question. The question for you and for me is, “How will we respond?”

That is the question. When we are faced with the finality of a terminal illness…cancer…divorce… death…abuse…after the shock, after the tears, after the crying out, after the phone calls and emails and text messages cease and we are left alone…how are you going to respond? How will I respond?

There are many choices, aren’t there?

In Job chapter one, Job lost it all; he lost his businesses, he lost his money, he lost his savings, he lost his employees, and worst of all he lost all ten children.  Job’s life was completely shattered. How does he respond and what choices does he make in the middle of his suffering?   In chapter 2 Job loses his health.  Job 2:7-10, “So Satan went out from the presence of the Lord and afflicted Job with painful sores from the souls of his feet to the top of his head.

Then Job took a piece of broken pottery and scraped himself with it as he sat among the ashes. His wife said to him, ‘Are you still holding onto your integrity. Curse God and die.’ And he replied, ‘You are talking like a foolish woman. Shall we accept good from God and not trouble?’ And in all this Job did not sin in what he said.”

How does this story hit you? How does it make you feel? What does it do to your theology or your belief in God, that God would enter a wager with Satan and allow Satan to destroy Job’s life?  This is a powerful and perplexing story. It scares me. Does it scare you? It scares me because what if it happened to me, this major league level of suffering and pain? What if one day God is up in heaven and Satan and the angels come to present themselves to God and God says, “Hey, Satan, have you considered that guy down there? Have you considered Darrell? Have you considered John? Have you considered Lisa?” And God let our lives be shattered like this. What if? It is perplexing.

Look at what happened to Job’s wife. In one or two days she lost her husband’s job, their finances, their security, everything they had banked on was all gone. The ten precious kids, these babies that she carried in her womb for nine months that she nursed at her breast, that she went to their birthday parties and cheered, laughed, and watched them grow up with so much success and prosperity. All ten were gone. Dead…they were not coming back.

And now she looks at her husband and she can’t even recognize him because he was covered with boils from his feet all the way to the top of his head and they were oozing puss and all he has left to do in life is scrape himself with a piece of pottery. And what does she say, what is her option, what is her choice? I think the choice she made at this time and the choice that she wanted her husband to make is, “Are you still holding on? Believing God? Are you kidding me? Are you still holding onto your integrity? Curse God and die! If there is a God, then He doesn’t care. If there is a God, then He must be limited in His power or He would do something to intervene to stop the death of all 10 children, to lose everything, and allow you to be inflicted with all this grotesque sickness and suffering. Give up this Sunday school, pie-in-the-sky before you die God.”

Our response could be atheism. “There is no God. Or maybe if there is a God He doesn’t really care or can’t really do anything, He is irrelevant. Tragedy of this magnitude and catastrophe is usually a polarizing event that draws us closer to God or farther away from God. It is a choice.

I read recently that Ted Turner (the billionaire owner of CNN, WTBS and the Atlanta Braves) when he was a young man in high school was a devout Christian. At the age of 18 Ted Turner devoted his life to become a missionary.  But something happened to Ted’s sister, Mary Jane. She contracted a rare form of lupus and Ted watched his sister slowly die for about five years. And when she was dead, her death killed his faith in God. And he has been an atheist ever since.

Some people are going to choose atheism and some people are going to say, “Maybe God is there but I can’t handle the pain. I can’t handle the trial; I am just going to drown myself in alcohol and in drinking.” Or, “ I am just going to find some drugs whether they are prescription or non-prescription or on the street. I am going to find some drugs to lose myself, to lose and ease the pain through that.” Or, “I am going to go to work and I am going to work myself to death.” Or “I am not going to do anything. I am just going to sit there and fall into a depression.” For some it is so tough they have to try to find some outlet and they take their own life.

I think about Mother Teresa and some of her journals and letters that were released a few years back. Mother Teresa had given her life to comforting the sick and the dying in the streets of Calcutta, she lived among the poorest of the poor and there are many times in her journals where she struggled with her faith.  She doubted with God’s love for her.  She couldn’t hear or sense His presence.  She held on and kept serving even when it was not easy.

One thing that amazes me about this story of Job and about our own choices is that your choice matters to God. Job was just like you and I. When something hits our life, when a storm comes into your life or my life and it rains and it doesn’t’ stop raining and pretty soon the water rises and it floods and it starts to take us away. We don’t know where it is coming from; we don’t know what God is up to. What is amazing is that we are such small specs on this beautiful, blue marble planet called Earth but our choices are significant. They matter to God.

We saw at the end of chapter 1…what did Job say when the first round, the first wave hit him? He said, “The Lord gives, the Lord takes away. Blessed be the name of the Lord.” How did Job respond? Job responded with raw worship. Then we read in chapter 2, “Shall we accept good things from God and not accept bad things from God.” What was Job saying? What was Job’s response? “God, You are in this!” And he cried out from the ashes that he was sitting on as he was scraping himself with the pottery, he said, “God You are in this! And I am going to hold onto You no matter what comes my way. I am going to hold onto You. I don’t see it, I don’t understand it. He was sad, he was mad, he was angry, he was perplexed but he said, “God I am holding onto You…I am going to trust in You no matter what.”

We will see in the following weeks that Job was no super saint…Job was just like you and just like me. As this story unfolds, as more chapters unfold in Job’s life we are going to see Job gets pretty real. But Job says, “I am going to hold on. I am going to hold onto God no matter what. I don’t care how I feel. I don’t care how disfigured I am. I don’t care if it looks like I am going to die; I am holding on.”

That is the choice we can make too.  “God, I’m holding on!”  I am confident that whatever you are going through in your life that God is watching over you. He has not forgotten you. And as you and I hold onto Him tightly, He is holding onto you and me. He will see us through, just hold on.

Darrell

Additional Sources: Bible Exposition Commentary (BE Series) – Old Testament – The Bible Exposition Commentary – Wisdom and Poetry, Life Application Bible Notes,  Dr. Ben Young, A Search for the Meaning of Suffering

 

 

 

 

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The Sources of Suffering

Posted on May 27, 2018 by dkoop

When suffering or troubles happen, do they always come from Satan? In Job’s story, his series of tragedies did come from Satan, but this is not always the case. The chart below demonstrates the four main causes of suffering. Any one of these or a combination of them may create suffering. If knowing why we are suffering will teach us to avoid the cause, then the causes are worth knowing. However, it is most important to know how to respond during suffering.

The Sources of Suffering

Sources Who Is Responsible Who Is Affected Needed Response
My bad choices I am Myself and others Repentance and confession to God
Others’ bad choices Person who sinned and others who allowed the sin Probably many people, including those who sinned Active resistance to the sinful behavior, while accepting the sinner
Avoidable physical (or natural) disaster Persons who ignore the facts or refuse to take precautions Most of those exposed to the cause Prevent them if possible; be prepared if they can’t be prevented
Unavoidable physical (or natural) disaster God, Satan Most of those present Ongoing trust in God’s faithfulness
Source: Life Application Study Bible.
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