The problem with marriage is that most marriages start off as an ideal and then they become an ordeal and pretty soon you’re looking for a new deal.
Marriage affects all of us. Either you are married, were married, thinking about getting married or know someone who is married. We have all kinds of needs. God has a specific word for every person.
I heard about a couple, both of them were in their 90’s when they got married for the first time. Instead of throwing rice; people threw vitamin E pellets!
Let me share the foundation of marriage in Genesis Chapter 2:18-25
Adam was put in the Garden of Eden and it was a perfect environment. He had almost everything that he wanted. He had a place to live, food, a purpose to live for and a relationship with God. But something was missing.
I read about a neighborhood outside of Chicago. It was a nice neighborhood, well-kept for a few years. Before long there were major potholes and the foundations of the homes began caving in. They called in a team of inspectors and discovered that the entire neighborhood had been built on a garbage dump. All the homes were built on trash. With marriage crumbling for many in our society I hope that we can see that God’s plan is good and we have a strong foundation.
The Blue Prints.
Genesis 2:18 “The LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”
God looked at Adam and He said, “It is not good…” That is the first time God had ever said that in his creation. “….for man to be alone.” Man’s oldest problem is loneliness.
Is it wrong to be single? No, the Bible teaches the exact opposite of that. Singleness is encouraged as a great honor in 1 Corinthians 7:8-9. Paul is single, Jesus is single, Daniel is single. What He is saying is that God never meant for anybody to be lonely.
Someone joked that the conversation in the garden went like this….. “God I sure am lonely.” Adam says. God said, “I have the perfect creation called a woman, she will cook and clean for you and never say a cross word.” “Great!” Adam says. God said, “But it will cost you an arm and a leg.”… Oh, “What can I get for a rib?”
God made Adam a wife. First, he let Adam name all the animals. It looks like Eve was an afterthought. But she wasn’t an afterthought. What God was doing was helping Adam realize “There is two of everything except me!” Something is missing!
The Architect of Marriage is God.
Marriage along with creation was his idea.
Back in the old days of Model T’s a man was broken down on the side of the road, before long behind him pulled a brand new Lincoln. A well-dressed man got out opened the hood of the model T and made some adjustments and cranked it right up. The man who was broken down said, How did you do that?! The man stuck out his hand and said Hi, I’m Henry Ford. I made this car and I know how it works.
Adam had a need and God met it.
“Then the LORD God made a woman … and he brought her to the man.” Genesis 2:22
“Made” the Hebrew word is “Bana” which means to build. So Eve was built! “Wo! Man!” Is what Adam says when he first sees her.
In Marriage there are three ways main ways people obtain a spouse: All of these can lead to long lasting and happy marriages: because is to be built on Commitment not feeling:
- Someone else can choose for you. An arranged marriage.
- You can choose. Many people feel that they choose wrong or they wonder. Hang in there you can make it!
- You can let God chose. Pray and wait for God’s timing. This is what God did for Adam when he needed it, God brought it. Several other times in scripture: Rebecca was brought to Isaac. Ruth moved to a different town and met Boaz.
The Timetable is God’s.
“So the LORD God caused…” Genesis 2:21 Notice God caused, God made, God brought.
Everything was on his timetable. Are you waiting to get married? Just keep praying. It’s on God’s timetable not yours. Matt. 6:33 “Seek first a spouse? No God’s kingdom..” Marriage is God’s timetable.
God Provides the Person Suitable for You.
“But for Adam no suitable helper was found. Genesis 2:20
When you do decide to get married you want someone suitable for you. Not your parents, friends or business associates but suitable for you.
Here’s how Niki and I met. When I was a Jr. at A&M there were forty thousand students, so at least 20,000 girls and I had no prospects. I was a little nervous. I had been in the Frat scene and met many Sorority girls, I had been to Christian groups, Campus Crusade, Inter-varsity, BSM. Dating seemed so fake to me. Finally I said, “Forget it! I’m tired of washing my car, spending hard earned time and money on dates that don’t work out. It’s in God’s hands.” So I began praying for my wife and that God would take care of it if he wanted me married. That was the end of 1989. Five years later 1994, I was in a place of no prospects: I taught drivers ed. (15 year olds), I was a youth minister(more 15 year olds!) I was in Seminary (no Women there) As O was hanging out with some of my high school buddies, they began teasing me. Saying, “You’re never going to meet anyone! You better not at Driver’s Ed or youth ministry! 15 will get you 20! You need to start going to clubs, or single groups.” “No, I believe God will take care of this,” I said. Sure enough, a few months later on July 4th, 1994, we were having a fourth of July party at church for the youth, I went home to get some matches and there was a college buddy with two girls on my front porch. He was considering moving in with me. He was in Med. School and had met two girls from the Health Science Center at a Christian bible study there. One he liked, and was trying to put some moves on, one was just tagging along. That was Niki. So there we met that night and the rest is history. God literally brought Niki to my doorstep. I found out later that in 1989 when I began to pray for Niki that was the year that she gave her life to Christ. God was working in her life and in my life and brought us together at the right time.
If you are single and would rather not be; All throughout the Bible it says that God knows our needs and will meet them to pray to ask. God will provide; on his timetable with a mate that is perfect for you.
God’s Design Is For:
- Companionship
“It is not good for man to be alone” vs. 18 Adam God but he also needed human companionship.
- Partnership
“…a helper suitable” vs 18 Do you help your spouse to be all they can be? Do you compliment them and build them up? Do you partner together in the trials, tribulations, and challenges of life?
- Equality
“from the (side) of the man” vs 22 We get ourselves into trouble when we think that one sex is better than the other. Both sexes have strenghs and weaknesses. We are to compliment each other. Rabbi’s have taught that woman was taken from the side of man for a reason: not from the foot to be trampled under, not from the head to rule over but from the side to be close to his heart, under his arm, side by side.
- Security
“be united to his wife” vs 24 This is what makes marriage great! Security systems are great for cars and houses but more important in a marriage. The relationship needs to be safe.
- Unity
“they will become one flesh.” vs 24 Not uniformity, not cloans. We must be different, but having the same purpose and goals.
- Intimacy
Physical, Emotional, Sexual and Spiritual intimacy
“The man and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame” vs 25 Intimacy is to be known and loved. People try different ways of achieving intimacy: pornography, prostitution, adultery, but they always turn out leaving the person empty and full of guilt. God’s way in marriage is designed for full intimacy without any shame.
God says in marriage there are some things you need to hold onto and there are some things you need to let go of. In order to have a marriage that really works there are some things you have to give up and there are some things you have to grab onto. We will look at these in the next post.
Darrell
Upwards Church 