Doing What Matters

Posted on March 16, 2015 by dkoop

Ridge DoingMost of us are so busy, but are we making a difference? Sometimes it’s hard to know what really matters. In our new series, “Doing What Matters,” we will learn what God says that we can do to give us meaning, significance and lasting results.

Why do it now? As a church we are preparing for the celebrating the biggest event in history, the resurrection-Easter Sunday.  Doing What Matters falls during the “Lenten Season,” which traditionally is a time of spiritual preparation.  God will be drawing many people to Him.  God will do a work in you.  How will you spiritually prepare? As a church we will encourage personal spiritual preparation: fasting, time with God, prayer for others, caring for others and tools to invite others to Easter Sunday at The Ridge

businesscard-3.5inx2in-h-frontA resource we will use is our “INVEST & INVITE cards.” We encourage you to Invest in: pray for, seek for ways to serve and love three people.  And the Invite them personally to attend Easter at the Ridge with you.

Who will you pray for?  Who will you invest businesscard-3.5inx2in-h-frontin? Who will you invite?

Cards are located in the Connection Center and will be
found in the programs for two weeks during the series.

 

Leander Easter Door Hanger Front 5X17 copy

At the Leander location we will be inviting our communities through Door Hangers.  Individuals, growth groups and a few specific outreach groups will be going out hanging over 15,000 door hangers the two weekends before Easter.   Here are the details of the Outreach Groups.  There are Saturdays:  March 21st & 28th from 9:00 am – 11:30 am or 1:00 PM to 3:30 PM or Sundays: March 22nd & March 29th from 2:30 – 5:30 PM.  Pick a time or two and make a difference.

You can sign up here:  http://leander.ridgefellowship.com/form.php?pageID=73 Put your name, click “Outreach Groups” then select day/time and hit “submit.”

 

Our message topics will include:

1. Time With God Matters. Why does Time with God Matter?

  • Only in Him will we find true freedom
  • We will find rest.
  • His truth replaces the lies we believe daily
  • Only in Him can we truly Love others the way he does

Memory Verse: 12 For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart

Discussion Questions: Why do we allow tasks to define us and control us? Why is time with God important? In what ways can we balance rest and work?

 

 2.  Caring Matters. How do We Leave a Legacy of Care?

  • Remove human aloneness – stop, look and listen “
  • Meet relational needs – acceptance, encouragement and support
  • Heal painful emotions – hurt, anger and fear

Memory Verse  “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind’; and, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.'” Luke 10:27

Discussion Questions:  Which hindrances to care to you experience:  inadequacy? cost? or lack of motivation?  As you “go and do likewise,” who might benefit from more of your initiative of care toward her/him and how might it make a difference in your relationship?

 

 3.  The Way We Do Church Matters

Memory Verse:   “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”  John 3:16

  • The Problem we face? The Gravitational Pull of Every Church is to Insiders
  • The Very First Church Business Meeting was about, “Who is the Church For?
  • The Church’s Marching Orders:  To NOT Make Church Difficult on Outsiders.

Discussion Questions:  If God loved the world, and Jesus died for everyone, why do we often only focus on ourselves? Our needs, our friends?  What are we doing to make it difficult on new people coming to our church? What are some ways we can be open, ready and happy to receive new people coming to Christ or our church?

 

  1. Praying For Others Matters.  How Can I Pray for People?

 

  • Pray for their Well Being
  • Pray for their Spiritual Knowledge
  • Pray for their Salvation

 

MEMORY VERSE: 3 This is good, and pleases God our Savior, 4 who wants all men to be saved and to come to a knowledge of the truth.  1 Timothy 2:1-4  

Discussion Questions:  Name a time when you know people were praying for you.  In what ways have you seen prayers answered? For you? For others?  Who are you praying for to know Jesus and be saved?

 

 5. Inviting Others Matters. How Can I Invite Others?

  • Believe That Jesus Can Change Lives
  • Recognize That Jesus Wants to Use Me
  • Identify People In Your Sphere of Influence
  • Extend an Invitation to Come to Church

 

 

Memory Verse: “Live wisely among those who are not yet Christians, making the most of every opportunity.”  Colossians 4:5

Discussion Questions:  What if Andrew didn’t invite Peter to meet Jesus?  Why is inviting to “come and see” easier than explaining? Who in your sphere of influence needs to meet Jesus?  Who will you invite for Easter?

 

 I pray this is our best Easter ever!  I hope you will join me, our staff, Growth Group coordinators and members and do what matters: time with God, caring for others, church for others, praying for others and inviting others.  Then we can watch and enjoy God work in our lives, our family, friends and our community!

Darrell

www.RidgeFellowship.com

 

 

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3 Ways to Keep Your Marriage Red Hot

Posted on February 27, 2015 by dkoop

50 Shades Ridge

Usually when I ask Niki to help with a message at church she can be reluctant. For this marriage message she said something that surprised me.  She said, “This should be easy.”   “Why?” I asked.

Niki said, “We have a good marriage.  We are best friends, I can tell you anything and be myself.  There is no one else I would rather be with than you.”

Wow, that was awesome to hear, but I must add, our marriage is not perfect, we’ve had our ups and downs but it is something we work hard at.  We have what I have heard Ed Young say before, “a good MWE ‘Marital Work Ethic.” We work hard at our marriage. I want to share some of the reasons we have a good marriage and the reasons it is worth it.    Here’s the main idea:

 I can keep my marriage RED HOT by continuing to do the things that I did when I was dating. 

Most couples had a great time dating which is why they get married in the first place.  There is love, communication, romance and commitment.  Why do they go away?  We get busy, we get distracted and we forget the time and effort we used to put in the relationship when it was forming.  We have to keep those things going, maybe not to the same extent but they must continue in some form.

We should keep the love alive which will keep the excitement alive.  Keep working hard at winning the love of your life like you did when you were dating.

I will also be sharing from a book of the bible that is all about romance, dating, marriage, sex, conflict and communication –the Song of Songs by Solomon.   This book shows a couple going through all of those things like we do!  The first way to keep your marriage red hot…

1.  Keep the Communication Alive

14…Let me hear your voice. For your voice is pleasant” Song of Songs 2:14

Ideas:

  • Communicate Often – with cell phones and email, it is easier.  Text, call or email saying “I love you”  You can’t say I love you too often.
  • When We First Get Home or See Each Other –  Take 5-10 minutes to catch up, don’t let kids interrupt.
  • Watch out for Distractions – Cell phones, tv, radio, etc  – Don’t make your spouse believe that the cell phone or work is more important that they are.
  • Communicate Needs  – Sex-how often, when, how? Support around the house –who does what, when?  How often to talk and when?
  • Conflict  – talk about what bothers you, work through issues, don’t let them pile up, keep short accounts.

Secondly,

 

 2. Keep the Romance Alive

When I ask Niki “How do you define romance?”

She says, “Time, attention, affection, gifts and mainly to feel special.”

So she wants me to pursue her, take time for her, think about her and give her attention.

And Guys, Niki says romance doesn’t have to cost much.  It could be a picnic, a walk, a hand written note or anything done together with attention.

Look at this verse

11 Come, my love, let us go out into the fields and spend the night among the wildflowers. 12 Let us get up early and go out to the vineyards. Let us see whether the vines have budded, whether the blossoms have opened, and whether the pomegranates are in flower. And there I will give you my love. Song of Songs 7:11-12

Notice, “Let us go.”  Sometimes we need to get away from it all!  One of the things we like to do is to get out of town and go to a bed and breakfast.  “And there I will give my love”  it’s the romance, the time together that leads to giving love and making love.

When I ask Niki, “Why do you like to go away?  Why do you like times like that?”

Niki says, “Because you pay attention to me.”  With our hectic schedules it helps to get away on a date or for a weekend.

When I ask Niki, “Do women want the romance to end when the honey moon is over?”

She says, “Do men want to sex to end when the honey moon is over?”  It’s the same concept.

 Here are some ideas:

  •  Get away – about once a quarter or at least several times a year.  For you anniversary – you should be gone!  Celebrating away from work and spending time together.  Around Valentines Day, birthdays or other holidays, use those times to get away for special times together as a couple.  Again it’s not about money.  It doesn’t have to be a Villa in Italy, it could be the Holiday Inn in Houston!
  •  Take Dates – at least twice a month – get a sitter or alternate with a family with similar aged kids taking turns watching each other’s kids while the other goes out. Take a sandwich to the park together.

Both of these get aways and dates should be: Kid free, Work free, and Cell Phone free.  The kids will be fine, work can wait, call someone back later, you need to build your relationship.

These times should be something you both enjoying doing together.    It’s basically just some good quality time together.    Lastly,

 

3.  Keep the Commitment Alive

 

 

3 I am my lover’s, and my lover is mine.” Song of Songs 6:3

Two key ideas:

 

  • Don’t Let Go

 

To the ladies, Niki says,  “Some women let their weight go. You should try to be the same person your husband married.”  That’s part of the marital work ethic, stay fit and stay healthy not just for your health but for your marriage.

Other ways couples let the marriage go?  By letting the kids replace the spouse as a priority.  Don’t let go of the priority of marriage, its’ a lasting bond before God and the world.  As the scripture says, we are to “leave parents and be united to our spouse” (Gen 2:24).  The bond of marriage is permanent.  Remember, Kids leave, spouses stay!

 

Men can let go emotionally.  We turn off our marriage and plug into sports, TV, our job or hobbies.  We can also let go of our manners, consideration and let go of communication.  Guy’s don’t let go, hang on!

 

 

  • Hang on!

 

Do not EVER use the “D: word ever. “Divorce” is word that you throw away and do not use as leverage, a threat or a weapon.  Get rid of it from your vocabulary. That will secure trust and build commitment.

Verbalize your commitment often. Things like, “I love you. I’m committed to you. I’m so glad you are my spouse.  I love you more today than when we married.  I’m never going anywhere. Till death do us part!”

As Niki says, “you may not always be happy but you hang on anyway. Work through the hard times, sad times and keep your commitment.  We had tough times in our marriage: our first year, when we had our first child and certain seasons in ministry such as starting the church, when Niki started her business to name a few.  We were not always happy with the circumstances or even the person but hung on to our commitment.

 

 

The biggest thing we can say about commitment is this.  IT TAKES A COMMITMENT TO CHRIST.

 

When I ask Niki, “How does your commitment to Christ help you in marriage?”

She says, “I’m first committed to Christ, then to you.  When I said I do, He was there too. He helps me when my love runs out.  When I want to walk away, the Holy Spirit of Christ says, “go make up, go talk, go and forgive.  I can’t do it without him.”

 

I whole heartedly agree.   It takes not two people committed, but three with Christ.

 

I’ll end with a prayer for you and your marriage.

 

Jesus, I ask that You be at the center of each marriage that is reading this today, that You draw them closer together as You draw them closer to You.  May Your strength, love and forgiveness be upon each marriage.  In your name.  Amen.

Darrell

www.RidgeFellowship.com

 

 

source:  All Verses are from the New Living Translation of the Bible

 

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Benefits of a Committed Relationship

Posted on February 22, 2015 by dkoop

50 Shades RidgeWe have a powerful need and desire for coupling that drives us into and out of relationships. The desire for partnership is pervasive and universal, reaching back to the beginning, spanning every culture and civilization.

85% of us marry at least once. In a recent survey, 94% of young adults stated that finding a “soul mate” was one of their highest goals. The vast majority of us want partnership and are driven into and out of relationships seeking- what? Love? Happiness? Security? Healing? All of the above?

Abraham Maslow’s Hierarchy Of Needs might give us a clue to what we want in relationships. Once our physical needs are met (food, shelter, sex) we pursue our higher order needs, such as emotional needs for love and pleasure, and our spiritual needs such as meaning and purpose. As a society we have secured our physical needs, and are evolving to prioritize our emotional and spiritual needs.

In spite of the high failure rate of marriage and the availability of other options, why are we still driven to pair up in monogamous, committed relationships?

There are many benefits to a committed relationship:

  1. REGULAR, SAFE, GOOD SEX: Committed, monogamous partners have more, and better sex than singles and non-committed partners.
  2. COMPANIONSHIP: We are social beings and are comforted by closeness. Married people are healthier, happier, and live longer than singles.
  3. INTIMACY: Emotional closeness, love, trust, mutual support, builds and improves over time in a committed relationship, and is much more difficult to achieve in quality and quantity outside of a committed relationship.
  4. FAMILY: Both children and adults thrive in an environment of stable, long-term, multi-generational relationships.
  5. ECONOMICS: Committed couples are financially more successful than singles and non-committed partners.
  6. COMMUNITY: Extended family, neighbors, churches, and other forms of networks of supportive relationships thrive on the stability of committed relationships.
  7. MENTAL/EMOTIONAL/PHYSICAL HEALTH: Married adults live longer and have fewer mental/emotional problems.

Source: http://coupleforlife.com/benefits-of-committed-relationships/

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Paul’s Writing on Sex (1 Corinthians 6)

Posted on February 20, 2015 by dkoop

50 Shades RidgeThere was a great deal of sexual carelessness in the city of Corinth. It was a permissive society with a philosophy similar to that which the world has today: Sex is a normal physical function, so why not use it as you please? Paul pointed out that God created sex when He made the first man and woman, and therefore He has the right to tell us how to use it. The Bible is the “owner’s manual” and should be followed to avoid many problems.

God is clear and what is sexual sin; Paul named some of them in 1 Corinthians 6:9. In that day, idolatry and sexual immorality went together. “Effeminate” and “abusers” describe the passive and active partners in a homosexual relationship. (Paul dealt with this and with lesbianism in Rom. 1:26-27.)

But God can also cleanse sexual sins and make sinners into new creatures in Christ. “You are washed, you are sanctified, but you are justified” (1 Cor. 6:11). The tenses of these verbs indicate a completed transaction. Now, because of all that God had done for them, they had an obligation to God to use their bodies for His service and His glory.

Consider God the Father (vv. 12-14). He created our bodies and one day He will resurrect them in glory. In view of the fact that our bodies have such a wonderful origin, and an even more wonderful future, how can we use them for such evil purposes?

The Corinthians had two arguments to defend their sensuality. First, “I have the right to do anything. (1 Cor. 6:12). This was a popular phrase in Corinth, based on a false view of Christian freedom. We have not been set free so that we can enter into a new kind of bondage! As Christians, we must ask ourselves, “Will this enslave me? Is this activity really profitable for my spiritual life?”

Their second argument was, “Food for the stomach and the stomach for food.” (1 Cor. 6:13). They treated sex as an appetite to be satisfied and not as a gift to be cherished and used carefully. Fornication (sexual intercourse between a man and woman who are not married, or any form of sexual behavior considered to be immoral) is to sex what gluttony is to eating; both are sinful and both bring disastrous consequences. Just because we have certain normal desires, given by God at Creation, does not mean that we must give in to them and always satisfy them. Sex outside of marriage is destructive, while sex in marriage can be creative and beautiful.

There may be excitement and enjoyment in sexual experience outside of marriage, but there is not enrichment. Sex outside of marriage is like a man robbing a bank: he gets something, but it is not his and he will one day pay for it. Sex within marriage can be like a person putting money into a bank: there is safety, security, and he will collect dividends. Sex within marriage can build a relationship that brings joys in the future; but sex apart from marriage has a way of weakening future relationships, as every Christian marriage counselor will tell you.

Consider God the Son (vv. 15-18)

The believer’s body is a member of Christ (see 1 Cor. 12:12ff). How can we be joined to Christ and joined to sin at the same time?  Yet some of the Corinthians saw no harm in visiting the temple prostitutes (there were 1,000 of them at the temple of Aphrodite) and committing fornication.

Jesus Christ bought us with a price (1 Cor. 6:20), and therefore our bodies belong to Him. We are one spirit with the Lord and we must yield our bodies to Him as living sacrifices (Rom. 12:1-2). If you begin each day by surrendering your body to Christ, it will make a great deal of difference in what you do with your body during the day.

Paul referred to the Creation account (Gen. 2:24) to explain the seriousness of sexual sin. When a man and woman join their bodies, the entire personality is involved. There is a much deeper experience, a “oneness” that brings with it deep and lasting consequences. Paul warned that sexual sin is the most serious sin a person can commit against his body, for it involves the whole person (1 Cor. 6:18). Sex is not just a part of the body. Being “male” and “female” involves the total person. Therefore, sexual experience affects the total personality.

Paul did not suggest that being joined to a harlot was the equivalent of marriage, for marriage also involves commitment. The man and woman leave the parental home to begin a new home. This helps us to understand why sex within marriage can be an enriching experience of growth, because it is based on commitment. When two people pledge their love and faithfulness to each other, they lay a strong foundation on which to build. Marriage protects sex and enables the couple, committed to each other, to grow in this wonderful experience.

Consider God the Holy Spirit (vv. 19-20)

God the Father created our bodies; God the Son redeemed them and made them part of His body; and God the Spirit indwells our bodies and makes them the very temple of God. How can we defile God’s temple by using our bodies for immorality?

The word your is plural, but the words body and temple are singular (1 Cor. 6:19). It may be that Paul is here describing not only the individual believer, but also the local church. Each local assembly is a “body” of people united to Jesus Christ. The conduct of individual members affects the spiritual life of the entire church.

In both cases, the lesson is clear: “Glorify God in your body!” The Holy Spirit was given for the purpose of glorifying Jesus Christ (John 16:14). The Spirit can use our bodies to glorify Him and to magnify Him (Phil. 1:20-21). Our special relationship to the Holy Spirit brings with it a special responsibility.

So God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit are all involved in what we do with our bodies. If we break God’s laws, then we must pay the penalty (Rom. 1:24-27).

As you review this section, you will see that sexual sins affect the entire personality. They affect the emotions, leading to slavery (1 Cor. 6:12b). It is frightening to see how sexual immorality can get a hold of a person and defile his entire life, enslaving him to habits that destroy. It also affects a person physically (1 Cor. 6:18). The fornicator and adulterer, as well as the homosexual, may forget their sins, but their sins will not forget them.

In counseling, its common to have to help married couples whose relationship was falling apart because of the consequences of premarital sex, as well as extramarital sex. The harvest of sowing to the flesh is sometimes delayed, but it is certain (Gal. 6:7-8). How sad it is to live with the consequences of forgiven sin.

Having said all this, we must also realize that there are eternal consequences for people who practice sexual sins. In 1 Corinthians 6:9-10, Paul twice states that people who practice such sins will not inherit God’s kingdom. A Christian may fall into these sins and be forgiven, as was David; but no Christian would practice such sins (1 John 3:1-10).

Finally, in all fairness, we must note that there are other sins besides sexual sins. For some reason, the church has often majored on condemning the sins of the prodigal son and has forgotten the sins of the elder brother (see Luke 15:11-32). There are sins of the spirit as well as sins of the flesh—Paul names some of them in 1 Corinthians 6:10. Slander and greed can send a person to hell just as easily as adultery.

We must remember that the grace of God can change the sinner’s life. “And such were some of you” (1 Cor. 6:11). It is wonderful how faith in Christ makes a sinner into a “new creation” (2 Cor. 5:17. And it is important that we live like those who are a part of God’s new creation. We are not our own. We belong to the Father who made us, the Son who redeemed us, and the Spirit who indwells us. We also belong to the people of God, the church, and our sins can weaken the testimony and infect the fellowship.

Source:  adapted from The Bible Exposition Commentary (BE Series) – New Testament

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