Overcoming Fear

businesscard-3.5inx2in-h-frontWhat fears do you have?  I’m not a fan of heights, spiders or speaking in public.

During a severe thunderstorm a mother was tucking her small son into bed. She was about to turn the light off when he asked in a trembling voice, “Mommy, will you stay with me tonight?” His mother gave him a warm, reassuring hug and said tenderly, “I can’t dear. I have to sleep with Daddy.” A silence followed, and then the little boy said, “The big sissy!”

 We all struggle with fear.  There are over 530 classified phobias. www.phobialist.com

Many of them are well known but some you probably have never heard of.  For instance:   You may know about claustrophobia – the fear of being in a small place.  But there is the fear of being in a small place with a dictator called Castrophobia.  You may know about zoophobia, which is the fear of animals.  But did you know there is a Barneyphobia – fear of purple animals? You may know about agoraphobia – fear of the open places.  Not to be confused with Aggie-phobia fear of people who wear maroon!

There are specific phobias (fears), which are not shared by all. 

It’s interesting to me that we have different fears.  Different things frighten us all.  Some of you have fought in combat but you’re not about to visit a dentist.  Others of you climb mountains and cliffs but if somebody were to ask you to speak in front of 15 people you’d freeze in fear.  Some of you men make tremendous business decisions every day but when things go creak in the night, you send you wife!

There are universal or deep level phobias we ALL experience.

A son asked his father, “Daddy, are you afraid of spiders?”  No.  “Are you afraid of thunder? of ghosts? of robbers” No.  “Then I guess Mommy is the only thing you’re afraid of.”

Deep level fears are:  Why do we die?  What happens after death?  Why are we here?  Why is there evil? 

All religions attempt to give answers to basic questions: From where did the world come? What is the meaning of human life? Why do people die and what happens afterward? Why is there evil? How should people behave?

Philosophers teach that this deep level fear has lead to the development of religion. German theologian Paul Tillich defines religion as “ultimate concern.” 

These deep level fears are the source that all your other fears come out of.  It’s the well.  No matter how much you try to get rid of all these other fears, until you deal with the source or root it’s not going to work.  Until you get healing at this deepest level of your life, you’re going to still have problems with all the surface fears.

Although fear is universal among us, God says hundreds of times “Fear not or Do not be afraid”   The Greek word for fear is “phobeo” which is where we get the word phobia.

 HOW TO OVERCOME FEAR

 Have you ever done a high element ropes course?  I did one a couple of years ago that was thirty feet off the ground.  I felt like, “I am going to fall and die!”  But I had to tell my mind, “I may fall, but I won’t die.  I am secured by these ropes (a safety system).”  Besides I just watched my friends doing it and they didn’t’ die!   That’s the truth, my mind says, “You’re dying!” the truth is, “no I am not, hang in there.  Don’t chicken out in front of your friends! Stay up here and do this!”  The same can happen for our deep fears and specific fears.  We need to seek the truth and remind ourselves often.

  1.  Seek the Truth

      “You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”  John 8:32

 I was reading about Phobia treatments recently.  Simple or specific phobias have been effectively treated with behavior therapy.[1] Behavior therapy sets up phobic treatment involving exposure to the phobic stimulus in a safe and controlled setting called exposure treatment. The patient is exposed to the phobic stimulus as part of the therapeutic process. One simple form of exposure treatment is that of flooding, where the person is immersed in the fear reflex until the fear itself fades away.[2]

Like the high ropes course mentioned earlier, the fear of falling or heights that I have a specific fear of is reduced over time by the truth that harness catches me.   Remember how I fear public speaking?  When I was younger I would panic when called upon in class.  But now as I prepare, practice and speak in public on a regular basis (flooding) then the fear has less affect on me.

  •  Deep level fears can be dealt with through myth or truth.
    • Myth- “a story that appeals to the consciousness of people by giving expression to deep commonly felt emotions.” Webster
    • The ancient Greeks, Romans, and other civilizations explained the world through fascinating mythologies.
    • “Under the influences of Judaism and Christianity, mythology was replaced by religions based on historical events and evidence.” 
      Compton’s Interactive Encyclopedia © 1999

 (Jesus) “I am the way the truth and the life.”  John 14:6

Jesus Christ claimed to be God and then proved it by rising from death. How do we know George Washington existed?  Evidence: what he did, what he left behind and what was written about him.  There is vast evidence of Jesus Christ and his resurrection.   Like me, millions of other Christ followers have overcome the deep fear of death, hell or judgement by placing our faith in the evidence of Jesus Christ and his resurrection. The second way to overcome fear is to…

 2.   Replace My Fear with God.

“There is no fear in (God’s) love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. We love because he first loved us. 1 John 4:18-19

I love it when I hear, “I need God in my life.”  Maybe you feel that way.  Maybe you feel like things aren’t fitting together right.  Maybe you have questions like:  What am I here for?  What happens when I die?  Is there anything after death?

God is putting a hunger for Himself deep in your life.  He’s saying “I know you and I want you to know Me.  I made you.  I love you.  I’ve watched everything you’ve done from the moment you were born.”  He’s putting in you a dissatisfaction that says, “There’s got to be more to life than this!”  There is.

There’s a God-shaped vacuum in each of us.  Nothing else can fill it.  If you don’t fill it with God, it will fill with fear.  Nothing else can substitute for God. It doesn’t matter how much human affirmation you get, it doesn’t matter how many awards you put on your shelf, how many achievements you get, how many possessions you tend to stockpile, nothing can substitute for God in your life.  When we realize God is reaching out to us, and decide to trust Him in faith, (realizing that we can’t earn his love).  When we embrace God’s love which is unconditional and complete in Christ’s death and resurrection, it changes us and overcomes our deep level fears.

To overcome specific fears the “flooding technique” mentioned above works for some.  But some patients cannot handle flooding in any form, so an alternative technique is used called counter-conditioning [3]  In this form, one is trained to substitute or replace a relaxation response for the fear response in the presence of the phobic stimulus.  Relaxation is incompatible with feeling fearful or having anxiety, so it is said that the relaxation response counters the fear response.

Do you know what one of the greatest relaxation responses is?  PRAYER!  Prayer has been shown to lower blood pressure, slow brain waves, lower blood pressure and heart rate.  When we pray we are using what Psychologists, Psychiatrists and counselors call counter-conditioning we use prayer (a relaxation response) in response to the phobic stimulus.  That’s what prayer does.  It works in our bodies, minds and emotions by trusting God to take care of things, which in turn relaxes us instead of stressing out trying to handle it all.   The next way to overcome fear is to…

  3.  Follow Christ and Find Support with other Believers

  •  Faith in Christ helps me face my deepest fears.

“By his death he frees those who all their lives were held in slavery by their fear of death.”  Hebrews 2:14-16

  •  Christ overcame death.  He says we will too.

“I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies; and whoever lives and believes in me will never die.”  John 11:25-26

  •  Christ tells us what is beyond death

“Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me.  In my Father’s house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you.  And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am.”  John 14:1-4

I need to have a relationship to God, not because I’m going to die today, because I’m going to live tomorrow.

 When we follow Christ we are his disciples. We should then join a family of other disciples and follow Christ together.  We learn from Jesus, he is our example and we learn from one another.  This is the same as another highly successful phobic treatment that therapist use called “modeling.”

Modeling is an application suggested by social learning theorists. In modeling, the patient observes others (the “models”) in the presence of the phobic stimulus who are responding with relaxation rather than fear. In this way, the patient is encouraged to imitate the model(s) and thereby relieve their phobia. Combining live modeling with personal imitation is sometimes called participant modeling.[4]

So this is another great reason to get into a Growth Group!  We observe others in the presence of fearful situations in life and how they respond. We confess, we learn from one another.  We strengthen one another.  We overcome the fears of life together!

Each week at church and or group we do this very thing:  we stop our hectic schedules for a moment to worship, to counter-condition, (to pray) and replace our fears and anxiety. We interact with other believers who are trying to living their faith while being honest and vulnerable about their struggles (modeling) and we are encouraged to do the same.

In my reading about Phobia Treatments I am glad that Psychologists and therapists can help people overcome their phobias.  I am convinced the same resources they use to help people overcome their fears we can use and have been as the church for years already.

To Overcome Fear in review with reference to Phobia treatment:

  1. Seek the truth – “Exposure treatment”
  2. Replace Fear – “Counter Conditioning” (counter fear with “relaxation response” prayer)
  3. Follow Christ – “Modeling”

I’m going to say a prayer and I’m going to encourage you to follow me in it.  “Dear God, I realize you’ve never stopped loving me, I accept this truth. Today I want to follow you Jesus Christ, I believe you and I want to be in groups with other believers.   I commit my fears and my life to you.  Amen.”

Darrell

To join a group with other believers go to www.RidgeFellowship.com

Bible verses are from The New International Version

[1] Marks, I. M. (1987). Fears, phobias, and rituals: Panic, anxiety, and their disorders. New York: Oxford University Press.

[2] Foa, E. B, & Kozak, M.J. (1986). Emotional processing of fear; Exposure to corrective information. Psychological Bulletin, 99, 20-35.

[3] Watson, J. B. (1924). Behaviorism. Chicago: University of Chicago Press.

[4] Bernstein, D. A., Clarke-Stewart, A., Roy, E. J., & Wickens, C. D. (1997). Psychology, 4th ed. New York: Houghton Mifflin.

 

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Protector – Week 3 – Tithe Challenge

I have prayed for you this week.  I’m excited about all the God will do in your life. Last week we looked at God’s promise to “open the floodgates of heaven” (Malachi 3:10)  and  like the Genesis flood, to “pour out an abundance of blessings.”   We have seen that God asks us to “test him” in this area of giving our 10%.   This week we will look at his promise to “prevent pests from devouring” our income.

Let’s look at Malachi 3, verse 11.   This verse begins literally, “And I will prevent pests from devouring your crops.” (NIV)  It contains another promise that is connected to His promise to “throw open the floodgates of heaven.” Not only would God would “pour out” abundant blessings (v. 10); he also promises to “prevent pests from devouring”  your income. 

Have you ever thought about all the ways your income can be devoured?  Most of us do not grow crops but this promise is still for us today.  There are many things that will devour our paycheck, savings, material things and investments.   There are many ways to make money.  I believe there are even more ways to lose money or possessions!  From emergencies, fire, thieves, accidents or wear and tear.  The list goes on and on!

God’s promise is not only to be our provider but our protector.  I am reminded that the same almighty God who can create from nothing, who speaks things into existence does not need my measly 10% when he owns everything in the universe.  He can say a word to bring blessing or destruction.  I  need God’s blessing, you do too.  I need God’s protection and you do too.  By faith we tithe. By faith we trust God to provide and to protect. Why? Because he said He would.

Let me pray for us, “God thank you for your promises to provide and to protect us.  We acknowledge that you are the one who can protect us from all that would devour us, our families and our incomes.  We give as a way to acknowledge that you are God.”  In Jesus name, Amen

Until next week, Darrell

PS.  If you haven’t tried this, you can Tithe online at

https://upwards.church/give-online

 

www.Upwards.Church

Watch Messages: YouTube-Upwards Church

Facebook: Upwards Church

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Overcoming Temptation

businesscard-3.5inx2in-h-frontWhat tempts you?  Everyone gets tempted.  Whether you’re close to God or far from him temptation never goes away.  Unless, you’re a pastor…no, all of us deal with temptation!

Here are a few temptation questions:

Are you tempted to overeat with sweets or salty snacks?  For me it’s the sweets: ice cream, pie, and chocolate.

Are you more tempted to drink too much beer, wine or mixed drinks?  In the past I’ve gone too far with beer and mixed drinks.

Now, it’s going to get real serious here. Are you more tempted to view online pornography or use illegal drugs?  Drugs for me.

Are you more tempted to cheat on your spouse or to cheat on your taxes?  For me it’s Taxes.

Are you tempted by pride to think “I’m not tempted by those things. That may happen to others, but not to me.”  It’s easy for me to think, “it’s been a few years, I’m ok.”

We could keep going, there are all kinds of temptation but I think you get the point.  I have been tempted by the above and given in as I wrote.

It’s not wrong (or a sin) to be tempted. Even Jesus was temped. (Matthew 4:1 & Hebrews 4:15) The problem is when I give in.

When it comes to temptation, the wrong question to ask is, “How can I avoid this temptation?  I can’t avoid all temptations. The right question is, “How, with God’s help, can I overcome the temptation?”

Here are four steps to Overcome Temptation.

  1. State the Obvious: “I am tempted”

It wasn’t easy to write I have struggled with overeating, drugs, and taxes.  Now the whole world knows!   The deeper issue; I admit not only to you, but also to God.

A great example of temptation gone wrong is the story of David and Bathsheba. (2 Samuel 11)  David was the king, (wealthy and powerful) the giant slayer (successful & popular) and the writer of most the Psalms (spiritual).  But with all his accomplishments, strength, power and spiritual insights, he fell to temptation.

This story of David and Bathsheba could be ripped from the headlines today. Someone who receives great power and says, “I’m exempt. It can’t happen to me.” They fall into temptation.  Often one of three G’s:  Girls, Gold or Glory gets them.

1 Corinthians 10:12, says, “If you think you are standing strong, be careful not to fall. The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience.”

The bad news is, “If you think you are standing strong, be careful.” If you’ve found yourself saying, “That couldn’t happen to me, be careful not to fall.

The good news is, “The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience.” In other words, they’re common temptations. In fact, as I study human nature, as well as the Bible, it seems like the Devil only has about a half a dozen tricks. He constantly throws those in front of us, but we constantly fall for them.

I have to admit that I’m tempted. Here’s why. Denial is potentially worse than admitting I’m tempted. Why? I let my guard down, I think I don’t need to be accountable or I become careless.

Will you admit that you are tempted?  It’s the first step, secondly,

  1. See the bigger picture: the end results and spiritual dimension.

A lot of the temptations I face are physical in nature. I like sweets, I get hungry, I like sex. There’s also a physical side to addictions. There are genetic dispositions that once we engage alcohol, drugs and certain chemicals the physical drive is really there.

But I also want you to know, at its core, ALL temptation is spiritual. Ultimately the struggle we’re in is not just physical, it’s spiritual. I have to acknowledge that.  You need to as well.

Our tendency compartmentalize everything: work life, home life, family, hobbies and church and go from one into another as if they are not actually related.  It’s true in temptation as well.   “A one night stand, just this once won’t affect anything. It’s just one drink. It’s just one _____.”   That kind of thinking eventually leads to heartbreak, jail, addiction or worse.   Everything is connected. What we do Friday affects us Saturday or years to come. God made us not only physical beings but how else?  He created us mind, body and spirit.  Not only that, but everything has consequences that ripple beyond the event.  That’s why the bible mentions a spiritual enemy that seeks to destroy us using temptation.

Peter 5:8., “ Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy the Devil He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour.”

Here’s how this works.  The devil tries to convince us that if we just give in to temptation, it’s for our best interest. He tries to convince us that God is keeping something from us.  And that if we just give in, that’s where real life is, that’s what will satisfy us the most.

Ultimately all temptation is the temptation to trade God’s best for something less.

We trade God’s best future for something we can taste, see, and feel right now. When we make this trade, it leaves us feeling empty. It leaves us craving more.  That’s why the temptation can turn into an addiction so quick, because it doesn’t satisfy long‑term. The word the Bible uses for that is “slavery.” It says, “You are a slave to sin.” (John 8:34). Our culture calls it addiction, but it’s the same thing.

Think of the end results of each temptation. When tempted sexually, like David was with Bathsheba, realize what’s going on. See the bigger picture.  It’s not just a physical choice that affects your body now; it’s a spiritual battle that’s going to affect every other area of your life for years to come.  For David his actions lead him to murder, lose two children, a dysfunction family, and almost lose his kingdom in a civil war. (2 Samuel 11-15)

Thirdly,

  1. Steer clear of people and places that tempt me

Since we are talking about David, let’s pick back up there.  David committed adultery with Bathsheba because he allowed himself to be in the wrong place and look at the wrong person too long. (2 Samuel 11:1-4) Everyone is capable of falling into temptation. I am and you are too. The key is to make it difficult, not easy. The Bible gives some very specific advice, which is “run away” or “flee” (1 Corinthians 6:18) from temptation.

If going up on the roof and looking at a women tempts you, the Bible’s very practical, don’t go up on the roof.

If going into the bar causes you to drink too much, the Bible’s very practical, don’t go into the bar.

The way that men are most easily tempted sexually is through our eyes. When we see a sex scene on a movie/T.V. show, or we see a picture or a video clip that is revealing or sexual in nature.  it does something inside us: a rush of adrenaline, a jolt of hormones that makes us want more. This is why internet pornography is so addictive.

Did you know that there is software that you can install on your computer that will either block those sites, which is very biblical to steer clear of them or it will send the websites you visit to an accountability partner?  One that I’m familiar with and that Promise Keepers and Focus on the Family recommend is Covenant Eyes.  Go to

www.covenanteyes.com/Accountability

If pornography on the Internet is an issue for you, I want to challenge you to find a way to overcome it. I want to challenge you to be accountable with your Internet use.

Also be careful of the people that you hang around with.

1 Corinthians 15:33 says, “Do not be misled: “Bad company corrupts good character.”

For example, if you’re married and there’s someone at work that’s caught your eye or you’re beginning to flirt and enjoying it.  It would be best to avoid that person. I know that’s easier said than done but necessary.

A painful experience of mine in high school was the need to distance myself from the friends that I grew up with who were doing and selling drugs.  Some ended up in prison or dead.

I’ve even heard of people who say, “I’m getting off social media or not ‘friending’ certain people because exes and old girlfriends/boyfriends are trying to connect with me.  I just can’t be around that.”  It’s biblical. If you are trying to honor your marriage and family God will honor that decision.

What are the people, or places that you need to say right now, “God, with your power, I’m going to avoid those to overcome temptation.”

Lastly,

  1. Stay focused on God, not the temptation.

I’ve noticed the more I focus on the temptation, the stronger the temptation will be. But the more I focus on God, the stronger His power becomes in my life.

1 Corinthians 10:13, “But remember that the temptations that come into your life are no different from what others experience, and God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, He will show you a…””Way out.”

If I say, “I just didn’t have a choice. I had to give in.” Nope. I had a choice. No matter how strong the temptation is, no matter how much the physical pull, God always gives me a way out. He will give you a way out too.

I don’t want to buy into a victim’s mentality, “I can’t help it. That’s just the way I am. Everyone else does it.” This verse is true, “God will be faithful, and he will give you a way out.”

It’s not helpful to compare yourself to others. I’ve heard people say, “Well, I look at Internet pornography, but at least I’m not committing adultery.”  Is that really a choice?

I want to write to those of you who think, “It’s too late for me.” No, it’s not. Choose today to honor God with the rest of your life. To honor God with your body, to honor God with your finances, to honor God with whatever area of temptation you face.

1 Corinthians 6:19‑20. “…You do not belong to yourself, for God bought you with a high price.”

If want to know how much you’re worth, look at the cross. This is how much God paid for you. This is how much he cares for you.

“So you must honor God with your body.” How does that work?  Here’s an example. One day, a man went to see a counselor and said, “Every day in my mind, I see two dogs fighting for control. There’s a black dog and a white dog.” Well, this got the counselor’s attention. He asked, “Which one wins?  The man said, “the one I feed the most.”

You’re also in a ongoing struggle between temptation and God’s best. Choose today to go with God’s best. Choose to focus on God.   If you ever get to the point where you feel like you can’t help it, it’s because you’ve been feeding the wrong dog too much. If you feel like you’ve messed up, I want to show you the end of David’s story.

David’s adultery, murder and cover up had consequences, there’s no way to diminish that. All sin has consequences. But David learned from his mistakes, wrote a Psalm of confession and repentance. (Psalm 51)  By the time David got to the end of his life, he was living for God, doing great things for Him.

David’s son, Solomon, went on to build the temple project that started under David. The people of God went on to experience much blessing after David. When we fast forward hundreds of years to the New Testament, look at how David is described by God in Acts 13:22. It says, “David a man after my own heart.'”

You too like David can have the rest of your life be the best of your life.  Confess, turn from temptation to God and stay focused on him.  That’s what I want to do.

Darrell

www.RidgeFellowship.com

 Bible Translations:  New Living Translation, New International Version

 

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Overcoming the Fear of Ebola

businesscard-3.5inx2in-h-frontEbola. What it is? What causes it? Should I be afraid?

Here is an article and a news report I found helpful.

As Ebola begins to spread to countries around the world, and the outbreak in West Africa continues to grow at an alarming rate, we break down what you need to know about the virus, how it’s transmitted and what you can do to help those suffering. Read more here.

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