50 Shades?

Posted on February 4, 2015 by dkoop

50 Shades RidgeThis weekend we kick off our brand new series, “50 Shades of THEY.”

Unless you have been living under a rock you know that 50 Shades of Grey is a movie that is coming out on Valentines Weekend and a best-selling book about a sexual relationship.

Sex is a word that causes lots of different thoughts and emotions for people. For some the emotion is exciting or intimate, for some it’s shame. The emotion for others is abuse or heartbreak -it’s hard to be neutral on the topic.

Sex in Church?

Some people will feel that it is not right to talk about sex in church.  If that’s you, I respect your opinion but I strongly disagree.  Here’s why: Sex and sexuality are everywhere in our culture: TV, movies, music, books, advertising, the internet and all forms of social media.  We’re bombarded with sex and it’s confusing.  Somebody has to talk about what the bible says.  You won’t hear it in school,  you won’t see it on TV, where are you going to hear it if not in church?  So we are going to address a topic that God is not shy in addressing.

Whether married or single, we are sexual beings and we either recognize and nurture our sexuality or deny that we have desires.  Many Christians respond to their sexuality with a mixture of denial, judgment, fear and guilt.

God has other plans for our sexuality. He could have made it like clipping our fingernails but he didn’t.  He’s the one that created our sexual organs, the nerve endings, the passion, the drive, and ecstasy involved in sex.     Solomon writes unashamed instructions for his son to enjoy his wife, body and soul.

“Let your fountain be blessed, And rejoice in the wife of your youth. As a loving hind and a graceful doe, Let her breasts satisfy you at all times; Be exhilarated always with her love” Proverbs 5:18-19

God is bold about sex. He’s also bold in explaining when sex is most exhilarating: between one man and one woman who are committed for life. Monogamy provides the space for marital passion.

With the Fifty Shades movie coming out Valentines weekend, and E. L. James’s Fifty Shades trilogy topping the New York Times’s bestseller list, I think we can safely say that sex and sexuality are a hot topic.

What’s the book and movie about?

The author of 50 Shades of Grey, E.L James explained on The Today Show, “I put all my fantasies, out there.” Her fantasies include her male lead, Christian Grey, suggesting a contract of sexual bondage, dominance, discipline, female subjugation, sadism and masochism (BDSM).

I do not condone the actions or behaviors in the book or the movie for the following convictions I have:

  • Genesis 1:27  teaches that men and women are made in God’s image; this means that all we do, including our love-making, should tell the world the truth about what God is like.
  •  Genesis 3 introduces the roots of what we’ve come to call the gender war where man is judged to rule over women (Gen 3:16), and we’ve been attempting to dominate each other ever since. This isn’t the way we were created to be.
  •  BDSM includes humiliation and domination, practices that are at odds with the way we were created as equals and at odds with honoring our spouse’s bodies as temples of God’s Holy Spirit (1 Cor 6:18-19). For more about BDSM, see a good article here.
  • Our bodies are as sacred as our souls; our bodies belong to God first (1 Cor. 6:19-20) and then our spouse (1 Cor. 7:4). There are some things we shouldn’t do to a sacred vessel.

I have hope for all interested in the topic of sexuality and relationships.  Especially those who have been harmed, shamed or confused like me and many others in our church.  Like Jesus at the well, I hope we can point them to living water.

 In our series, here’s what we will NOT do:

  • Condemn the book, movie or its makers.
  • Judge any of the book’s readers or movie’s attenders
  • Use shame or guilt at all, only forgiveness, hope and restoration.

What if we saw Fifty Shades as an opportunity instead of a threat?

You don’t have to read the book to enter into this opportunity and hear how men and women want to share their stories of sexual desire and frustration. The fields are ripe right now. Fifty Shades of Grey means we can talk about another model of sexual pleasure, one created by a God who made our sexuality.

Remember, God is not embarrassed by our sexuality, nor is he embarrassed to tell us good and harmful ways to live as sexual creatures.

Solomon knew that when he said to be exhilarated with our spouse’s love. Solomon knew these God-given desires can be most satisfyingly met by our spouse, with his body and soul in our bed.

And that is worth talking about.  I hope you can join in the conversation.

Darrell

www.RidgeFellowship.com

Additional Sources and Reading:

http://www.christianitytoday.com/women/2012/june/is-there-anything-redeeming-in-50-shades-trilogy.html?paging=off

http://chastity.com/blog/five-fat-lies-in-fifty-shades-of-grey

http://soulation.org/jonalynblog/2012/05/whats-wrong-with-sm.html

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I Resolve to Take Care of Myself Physically

Posted on February 2, 2015 by dkoop

Ridge My New Life ResAs a pastor, I can tend to focus on “spiritual” things. But God is the Creator of my physical body, and it’s in my physical body that I live my spiritual life before others.  I have a tendency to let my physical health go unchecked.  Sure, I have plenty of excuses such as my busy schedule, and my need to be behind a desk a lot to feed people spiritually.

For every excuse I can come up with to ignore my physical health, there are other pressing reasons to do better:

  • My sharpness of mind is affected by what I eat and my activity level.
  • My physical energy is affected by what I eat and how much I move.
  • My body is a temple, created by the God and placed in my care
  • I challenge others to live healthy, so I should set the example, especially to my children.
  • When I feel bad physically it affects everything else.

The Bible is full of health guidelines.  Here are 4 that I Resolve to be better in.

  1. Know & Maintain My Ideal weight

Scientists know that we have ideal weight based on our height.  It’s called a Body Mass Index or BMI.  When I quit making excuses about it, put a scale in the bathroom to weigh daily, the battle was on!  1 Thessalonians 4:4 says, “Each of us should learn to control his own body in a way that is holy and honorable.” I realize there are many reasons for being overweight: stress, genetics, hormones, but the fact is, I simply eat too much. I cannot eat everything I want to eat and still maintain my weight. Ecclesiastes 6:7 says, “All the labor of man is for the mouth and yet the appetite is never filled.”

  1. Eat Better

Do I eat a balanced diet? I used to think it was a cookie in both hands.  I need to work on controlling both the quality and the quantity of what I eat.  1 Corinthians 6:12-13 says, “Everything is permissible for me but I will not be mastered by anything. Food is for the stomach and the stomach for food, but God will eventually destroy them both.”The point that Paul’s making is that eating is not an end in itself. I eat to live I don’t live to eat. It’s a means not an end in itself. And if I get those reversed, food becomes my master.

  1. Move More

I’m convinced but not always committed. I know that exercise would be good for me, but committing to it seems hard. 1 Timothy 4:8 says, “Physical exercise has some value.” In Paul’s day, people were very active. If Paul wrote that verse today, he’d probably change it to say that it has great value. In the New Testament times, people walked everywhere, engaged in a lot more manual labor, and ate natural foods. Today, I drive everywhere, live a sedentary life, and eat too much processed food.

How do I know when I need to Move more?

  • I know I’m out of shape when I feel like the morning after and I didn’t go anywhere the night before.
  • I know my body’s in trouble when my knees buckle and my belt won’t.
  • I know I’m in trouble when I breathe harder walking up a set of stairs than I do when I hold Niki’s hand.

The fact is, my body was not designed for inactivity. I was made to be active. Even a daily walk will make a difference.

  1. Rest and Sleep

Psalm 127:2 says, “In vain I rise up early and stay up late.” The Living Bible says, “God wants His loved ones to get their rest.” Rest is so important that God put it in the Ten Commandments. He said every seventh day, I should rest. Jesus, in Mark 6:30-32, insisted that His disciples take time away.  I want to make sure I’m getting enough rest and sleep.

I resolve to take better care of myself physically this year.  How about you?

Darrell

www.RidgeFellowship.com

 

 

 

 

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3 Positive Resolutions

Posted on February 2, 2015 by dkoop

Ridge My New Life Res1. I Will Spend Less Time with Negative People and Influences

Please pray, use discernment and always be loving in dealing with negative people.  Some negative people you may have to spend time with because they are family!  However, negativity is like a sickness, it spreads.  I Corinthians 15:23 illustrates this.

…”Bad company corrupts good character.”

Have you ever noticed when you hang out with certain friends that continually complain and are negative what happens?  For me, I want to listen, relate and contribute but soon find that I’m seeing the seeing the bad in circumstances and people as they do.  My proverbial glass is”half empty” that was once “half full.”  What a sad way to live.

Also, there’s a lot of news, articles, radio  and TV shows and some are very positive and uplifting.  Others, I have noticed, are filled with people who are miserable in life.  A group of negative people who gather and criticize everything.  What I found is, when I read, listen or watch them, they hurt me as they slander others and make me overly self conscious or judgmental of my short comings, which I don’t need any help doing.  Soon, I’m more critical and negative.  When I reduce my time with negative media  and negative people, I find that my mind, spirit and emotions are healthier.   I will not allow negative influences to strangle me.  I will not let their thinking become my thinking.  Life is too short.

  1. I Will Speak Words Of Life.

The tongue has the power of life and death. Proverbs 18:21

In the lives of my children, I notice that I am quick to police them.  “Stop that.  Come over here.  Quit doing this.  Don’t hit your brother.  Don’t hit your sister.  Stay on your side. Be quiet! Am I going to have to pull this car over?”  Instead, I want going to catch them doing good things.  “You did awesome.  You cleaned up your room without being asked.  Way to go!  You said, ‘Please’ what great manners.  You brought over your dishes.  You’re amazing.”  I am going to encourage them with words of life rather than always criticizing what they didn’t do right.  I’m going to speak words of life.

  1. I Will Be Thankful For What I Have.

Instead of complaining about what I don’t like or don’t have.  I will give thanks in all things.  I Thessalonians 5:18, says Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.

How does this play out in everyday life?  If I’m having a bad hair day,  I thank God that I have some.  A lot of people would love some and not have to do the comb over.  When I am about to complain about my vehicle, “It’s dirty, it’s messy or uses too much gas.”  Realize that since I have a vehicle, I am in the wealthiest three percent of people who are alive today.

God is doing a work in my heart.  My words are changing.  My thoughts are changing.  My life is changing for the better.

I hope yours can too.

Darrell

http://www.RidgeFellowship.com

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I Resolve To Be More Positive – Events & Responses

Posted on January 30, 2015 by dkoop

Ridge My New Life ResHave you ever seen two people experience the same event, yet respond totally different?  I’ve learned that to be positive its not so much about what happens to me, but  how I respond.

Here are some biblical examples of the same event but different perspectives.

The Israelite s were in slavery in Egypt for years.  God used Moses to lead them out.  God miraculously provided food for them daily, called manna. Day after day, God provided for their needs, and yet, the Israelite s did what so many of us do, and they started complaining.  “God, we are sick and tired of this manna.  If only we could go back to Egypt where the fish were free.”  They were complaining, and being negative.  Same event, different perspective.  Moses says, “Did you forget that when you were in Egypt, you were slaves?   Shouldn’t you be overcome with thankfulness?”  You may not have fish, but you have your freedom!

I can be just like that, complaining about what I don’t have instead of being thankful for what I do have.   Do you ever do that?  I want be thankful for what I have.

There was a woman who was forgiven by Jesus, and she took a very expensive jar of perfume and broke the jar open and poured this valuable perfume or oil over Jesus in an act of worship, and the contents of this jar was valued at a year’s worth of wages.  Judas looked on and said, what I could have said, “That’s wasteful.  We could have used it in other ways.”  Judas says, “Why didn’t you sell that and give the money to the poor.   Jesus looked on, same event, different perspective, and said, “You’re missing the point entirely.  What this woman has done is one of the most beautiful things that I have ever seen.  What she has done will be told about her for generations to come.”   It was beautiful not wasteful!

Often I’m guilty of thinking, “what this person did was not good enough, they should have done is…”  I want to see beauty in people’s service and gifts.

Stressed or Calm?   Luke 10:38-42

Mary and Martha were hosting Jesus in their home, and Martha was doing what most of us do, stressing out.  And she comes in complaining to Jesus, “Look at Mary! she’s just sitting at your feet.  She’s just sitting there.  No good, lazy girl.  Tell her to help me out!”  Same event, different perspective.  Jesus looks on and says, “Martha, Martha.  You are worried and upset about many things.  Mary has chosen what is better and it will not be taken away from her.”   Martha was too stressed, Mary is calm and that’s better.

I easily get uptight about my to do list, making sure everything is just right and I miss the presence and peace of Jesus.   I want to stress less, calm down and experience Jesus.

Worshiping or Whining?  Acts 16:25-34

While Paul and Silas were spreading the good news about Jesus, and they were arrested, stripped, beaten publicly them, put them in prison and locked them up by their feet in shackles.  Instead of whining about their circumstances, and Paul and Silas, with their wounds still bleeding, start worshiping God and singing!   God showed up, brought a big earthquake, the doors flew open and the shackles fell off.  It was the first jailhouse rock! The jailer looked on and said, “Everyone’s gone, I might as well kill myself.”  Same event, different perspective.  Paul and Silas said, “We’re still here,” and the jailer said, “What can I do to meet Jesus? They led him to Christ and his whole family, and that event led to the beginning of the church in Philippi.

When things go wrong in my life, instead of whining that its not fair, I want to worship and draw people to God.

So, here’s my challenge to myself and to you.  Let’s do what we saw in scripture.  Look at the same things that we have been complaining about, but look at them from a different perspective.  Rather than focusing on a negative aspect.  Take a step back and look at them from a different perspective.  What do we have to be thankful for, how could we see the beauty in others, calm down, enjoy the presence of Jesus and find opportunities to worship?

I resolve to be more positive, how about you?

Darrell

www.RidgeFellowship.com

 

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